One sheep. Two sheep.

Well THAT was an interesting week.

By the way, I blame the NFL for the downfall of our society.  Just sayin’.

But then after he goes all stupid on the air, he comes back the next day and gives this press conference.

I can’t hate him for that.  He got to fired up, somebody put a mike in his face and he went stupid.  I get that.  It speaks to a certain lack of class as far as I’m concerned, but, he comes back nicely.  As for the asshat fans that threw food at NaVorro Bowman as he was being carted off the field with a blown ACL, well, refer to sentence #2.

Go Broncos.

This country has never been as good as we think we are.  We listen to politicians telling us how great we are or were or whatever.  We are a pretty jacked up society.  We brought you Charlie Manson, Jeffrey Dalmer, snuff films and crush videos.  We are a bunch of sick bastards.  That is not the greatest country in the world and if it is, well, a couple of faggots getting married is the least of our problems.

The NFL started using words like “battle” and “war” for sports games.  They encouraged the hardest of hard hitting players.  And then ended up with a dead Junior Seau at the ripe old age of 43.  Because his head was wrecked and he couldn’t cope with it any more, so he shot himself in the chest so the NFL could study his head.  But boy did he make a lot of money during his career, for himself, the NFL and those around him eh?

These guys have so much weight on them, it’s no wonder they do stupid stuff.  Thomas Howard, over 100mph vaporized his BMW on the 880 here in Oakland.

Then we have that little Canadian twit who we really ought to put a stamp on his ass and mail him back to them.  But he’s a singer.  Sort of.  That’s another whole breed of asshatedness.   I wonder why does this society give a rat’s ass about these overgrown snotnosed brats?  Nobody bothered to teach a one of them how to behave.  Or how to be polite.

When I look at all of this rot that our youth is seeing as normal I think whiskey tango foxtrot.  And then I wonder “When did I get so old?”

I’m your reasoned alibis

I’ve just got a lot of stuff that’s been keeping me thinking.  I could not have debunked this is five minutes as well as this guy does.

How rich is this guy?  He co-founded Museum Quality Framing Company, was an original investor in Amazon, founded that merged into Overstock and sold his other company Avenue A Media to Microsoft for $6.4 billion dollars.  How rich is this guy?  About a billion dollars worth of rich.

Good morning.

This is old news, but I just re-read it.  Sometimes somebody writes something so poignent that it bears revisiting over and over again.  No one could write this better than this man.

Good morning.

End of the night, it’s going down

I got a piece of information last week that is making my head spin.  Where is a good place to start on this one?  I’m sure I’m the last person on the planet to hear this, I’m just, well, it doesn’t compute.


Yeah that’s not better.  But somebody somewhere along the line taught that girl how to sing.

Seems okie dokey, but here’s the part that doesn’t compute.  Both of her parents are Pentecostal pastors.  No shit.

We all know I like to pick on organized religion.  Especially the piss poor state of it.  Of course I wonder if it ever wasn’t piss poor.  Some sterling examples?  How about this gem?   Seriously, a $500. meet and greet package with Uncle Si at the Temple Baptist Church.

12 And Jesus entered the temple and drove out all those who were buying and selling in the temple, and overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who were selling doves. 13 And He said to them, “It is written, ‘MY HOUSE SHALL BE CALLED A HOUSE OF PRAYER’; but you are making it a robber’s den.”

Well played Uncle Si.  Just remember what your idiot brother said, marry’em young, like 15.  Yeah.  Dumbasses.  At least you were smart enough to walk away from your show before anyone else figured out you were complete frauds.

Head spinning yet?  Mine too.  Russell Brand’s mother in law was a Pentecostal pastor.  Chew on that for a while.

OK, that was really too much.  Let’s try this on for size instead.  How about a sin and tonic?  Oh why the hell not?

We’re a Christian nation doncha know.  That’s why we’re all pissed off at this guy.

Why the hell not?

Yeah, I feel like this guy more often than not.




He sings the songs that remember of the better times

I am so done with 2013.  Over.  Done.

Do I need to go back to the PBE posts of why I’m done?  Let’s start with the Old Woman breaking her hip two days before Christmas and 2012 and all that it entailed.  Now the Old Woman has healed well and gets around pretty good, I would venture to say as well as she did before, but it was pretty adventuresome all that was involved in getting her on the road to recovery.  Needless to say there is a lot more involvement of all concerned.

And my body.  Surely you saw the two broken toes.  The right foot in January, the left the following November.  You’re probably sick of pictures of my feet.  Or the tick bite.  Yeah that was fun.  Or the death of Princess.  Or hurting my neck on the AIDS ride.  The AIDS ride that I barely trained for because I had the worst flu on the planet?  I didn’t even mention the have a little too much wine and miss the step in the dark adventure.  It’s been over 3 months and I still can’t kneel.  My assumption is I chipped the bone in my leg when I went down.  Not that I’m bitching but goddamn.

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If ever there was a year to say “See ya” to, it was last year.  Goals went like this:

  1. Lose the last 31 pounds Who are you kidding?
  2. Raise $7500 for the AIDS/Lifecycle Rough ride last year.  $4020.
  3. Six closings every month Rough year last year.  Averaged 2 per month for a total of 22
  4. Raise average sale price to $375,000.  It’s currently $315,000 Rough year last year.  $266,000.
  5. Ride at 15mph 11.7
  6. Squat 230, bench 300, dead lift 435 Missed this one bad.  Currently squatting 135, benching 135 and deadliftting 200.
  7. New car Sonofabitch!  I actually accomplished something.
  8. Eliminate personal debt Made some serious progress here.  Me and the IRS aren’t seeing eye to eye though.
  9. Landscape Not even close.
  10. Remodel main bath Not even close.
  11. Build mud room Not even close.

But as usual, I made chicken salad out of chicken shit.  I got to meet and talk with Rip Esselstyn.  I did get the new car I needed.  And it’s freaking gorgeous.  I sold a bunch of real estate and I did ok.  I am President-elect for our marketing association and VP of my BNI.  I was selected to be Realtor of the Year by my peers.  And this really curtails my freedom to be an asshat.  I rescued some dogs.  I lost Miss Cleo, but that was to be expected, she was ancient.  And she went in peace.

I tried to go on vacation but Bill and Bubba decided to have the brawl to end it all.  And the new dogwalker didn’t hear and/or take seriously my instructions to not let any of the boys out together when I was gone.  So I missed the reason I went on vacation in the first place.  I’m going to try a vacation again this year.  Maybe two.  I’m tired.  Really tired.  And I need a break.  First big break is scheduled for April.  The Nabisco Championship in Palm Springs.  There is a powerlifting meet in Laughlin that Friday.  I think I have a plan.  I hope.

And I just hired someone to work with me.  Someone to manage all of my marketing.  She has a degree in marketing and a grandfather, father, uncle and sister who sell real estate.  And her Aunt is a lender.  We’re starting very slow but if my marketing is consistent like it should be, the business will grow.  Because I’m maxed out right now.  I can be paid on my referrals and her sister works for KW and needs more business.  See?  Always thinking.  So here we go.  2014, you will be my bitch!

  1. Lose that last 35 pounds.
  2. Ride at 15mph
  3. Eliminate the rest of the debt
  4. Eliminate the IRS issue
  5. Practice the daily 10 five days a week
  6. Remodel main bath
  7. Build mud room
  8. Get Mustang closer to if not on the road
  9. Add a buyer’s agent
  10. Squat 230, bench 300, dead lift 435
  11. Have 6 months reserves in the bank
  12. Eliminate tolerations within 30 days of them presenting themselves.
  13. Follow my schedule 80% of the time

The last one may not make sense to all but as Realtors it’s easy to be a little free spirited.  For the most part I work pretty hard but if I followed my schedule rather than let people dictate what I was supposed to do at any given moment, I would get about three times as much done.  That is about setting boundaries.  It’s not about necessarily saying “No” but “not now”.  Yes, I will do that for you by 3pm today.  Or by week’s end or whatever is appropriate.  And then doing it.  But not “Let me drop everything for something that doesn’t really matter right now and not take care of that which does matter right now.”  See how that works?



And that would be bad ass.

It’s on like Donkey Kong.  Let the games begin.



War is over, if you want it

WordPress did another update.  And now I don’t recognize the dashboard.  Meh.

I’m going to start with something that was posted on facebook by the Littleton Adventist Hospital.

Statement from the Davis Family:

It is with unspeakable sadness that we write and say that Claire has passed away from the gunshot wound she received at Arapahoe High School on December 13, 2013. Although we have lost our precious daughter, we will always be grateful for the indelible journey she took us on over the last 17 years—we were truly blessed to be Claire’s parents. The grace, laughter and light she brought to this world will not be extinguished by her death; to the contrary, it will only get stronger.

Last week was truly a paradox in that we lost our daughter, yet we witnessed the wonderful love that exists in the world through the tremendous outpouring of support we received. We’d like to take this opportunity to thank the first responders, the school resource officer, security guard and vice principal at Arapahoe High School, the Arapahoe County Sheriff’s office, and the physicians, nurses and staff at Littleton Adventist Hospital. Each played a significant role in giving Claire a chance to live, and demonstrated extreme amounts of professionalism, courage and love. Please know that we will never forget the extraordinary work you did on Claire’s behalf.

We ask that you give us time to grieve the death of our daughter by respecting our wishes for privacy.

With much loving-kindness,
The Davis Family

There is a family that can make chicken salad out of chicken shit.  More over, at what point do we as a society make the changes that we need to so that good people like the Davis Family don’t have to go through the hellacious task of watching their 17yo daughter die from a point blank shotgun blast to the head that she received at school?  At what point do we all say enough?

Because John Lennon was murdered by a nut with a gun.  At what point do we all say enough?

Now, if you hear any one, ANY ONE defending that knucklehead in Monroe, LA whose name we will not even mention.  Read this.  And this.  And tell them to STFU.  They ain’t rednecks.   Just dumb asses.  And I’ve been to Monroe, LA so I get to say this.  They are part of that soft underbelly of this country that just can’t seem to give up their hate.  They thump their Bible but they don’t read it.  And here are two posts that I wish I’d written on the subject.  Boeskool and FP.   Truly, A&E was playing with fire on this one.  It was just a matter of time.  So put on your camo and support that racist, bigoted hater of a so-called Christian pretender.  Merry Christmas.





Through the night with a light from above

Today was a good day to witness the collapse of civilization.  Because collapse it did.

Maybe they call it Black Friday because it brings out the worst in us.  It’s Friday night and I did not start the car today.  I did not go to a store.  I did not buy a thing online and yes, I am a smug old bitch tonight.

I spent Thanksgiving with friends.  Lots of them.  I was supposed to hit four houses, I made it to two.  I had BBQ’ed oysters in a garlic sauce that was not to be beat.  The guy got them off of the pier in Oakland.  They were that fresh.  I spent time with the world’s cutest Golden Retriever puppy ever.  EVER.

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You cannot beat that picture.  This is Ben.  He stopped by one of the houses I was at last night.  But in everything I did yesterday, not once did I set foot into a store.  Now, occasionally I’ve had to go to a store on Thanksgiving…you know, you thought you had eggs and didn’t.  You were out of cinnamon.  Shit happens.  Not once did I consider running out to buy an Xbox.  On Wednesday I did have to run out to the wine store, which is always allowed.  Always.



This little sweetheart was the sneaker.  I’m not well versed in Italian wine and I didn’t want to bring all Pinot Noir.  The wine guy said “How about a Dolcetto?”  Keep talking.  It was nice.  Had some earthiness to it, a little sweetness that finished dry.  Some cherries.  Just a nice wine from the Piedmont area.  Next up?



I wanted a Pinot from the Santa Lucia Highlands.  This one was a winner.  A perfect California Pinot with some earthiness to it.  Not a total fruit bomb but enough to make you want some cranberries in your Brussel sprouts.


For Thanksgiving Day I showed up with this one.  My all time favorite Pinot.  People were straight up blown away.  It never, ever disappoints.  And even after all of that wine, I did not want to go to the mall with a stun gun.  Or any other kind of gun.  And I sure didn’t want to shoot an Alzheimer’s patient.  Joe Hendrix gets my Responsible Gun Owner/Douche of the Day award.  The old guy wasn’t a threat and was walking away.  Must be a proud day to be from Georgia.  I’m certainly proud to be an American.  Mr. Westbrook served this country for 33 years only to be shot dead by a trigger happy douchebag.  Wonder if the little asshat thanked him for his service.  SMH.

In other news, I love the hashtag #brawlmart.  Why wouldn’t it?  It’s the lowest form of humanity and it’s right here in ‘Murca.  God bless ‘Murca.  And my new favorite website, Black Friday Death Count.

This country needs to take a real hard look in the mirror, because it’s just not pretty.

And God was watching

I really want to write a happy post.  Full of happy things.  But I think Norman broke my toe last night.  The second broken toe this year if in fact it’s broken.  It looks like hell but it didn’t keep me awake last night like most broken bones so it might just be badly bruised.

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Yeah, I know.  I have funky toes, but my feet look just like my grandmother’s did, so they are her living legacy.

Now.  Walmart.  Do read to the end of the article where you can find out that Walmart turned a profit of $15.7 million last year.  Doncha think they could pay their employees a living wage?  Boycott.

Lots of competition for douche of the week.  San Francisco Supervisor Eric Mar is a front runner for sure.  But today Congressman Trey Radel was arraigned on charges of possession of cocaine.  He pled guilty about 20 minutes ago.  What makes Congressman Radel special?  The fact that he voted for drug testing SNAP recipients last month.  Maybe we should drug test Congress.  Actually this kind of answers a few questions.  These asshats must be on drugs to be so stupid.  Or in the immortal words of Sam Landon “People like this give drugs a bad name”.

But let’s go to our happy place.  Batkid.  Yeah, there are plenty of kids out there facing horrible diseases.  Yeah, Make a Wish does great work.  This one was just awesome.  Sometimes you have to celebrate awesome.  And what better place than Babylon by the Bay.  Actually there is no other City save possibly New Orleans that is better at throwing a party.  And why the hell not?

This is also pretty awesome.  This couple are just trying to keep their kids imagination intact.  Well played.  I was always pretty much a skeptic as a kid.  I never saw the boot prints by the chimney.  Or understood who ate the cookies.

Finally, we have a choice in this life to do what we do in a soulless march to our ultimate demise or to be extraordinary.  This woman really doesn’t have to do anything more than show up, make a few movies, take home a treasure chest full of money and call it a day.  But that’s not what she does.



You’ve got the brawn, I’ve got the brain

Veteran’s Day.  Seems like a good day to be pissed off about something.

California, the land of fruits and nuts they’ll tell us.  Well, STFU.  California has given more than any other State.  Including the one that still can secede from the Union and none of us would miss.  STFU.

I went to San Francisco three times in the last three days.  Every day you go to San Francisco from East Jesus, you drive by Lafayette.



Photo by Falcorian

I think the number was 6905 on Saturday, the day I took BART in.  It is a poignant reminder of every serviceperson who has given their life in the two wars Bush got us in to.

Yep.  Bush got us in to.  I know some assholes would like to revise history to call these Obama’s wars but they aren’t.  They are Obama’s inherited mess.

Condoleezza Rice: “I believe the title was ‘Bin Laden determined to strike in U.S.'”

Bush: “All right. You’ve covered your ass, now.”

Condoleezza Rice apparently thought that was good enough.  As far as I’m concerned responsibility for all 2996 who died on 9/11 and the 6905 service members who have been killed lies in that conversation.

Hillary Clinton spoke to the National Association of Realtors on Saturday afternoon.  Lots of outrage before the fact by the usual Right Wing asshats and Teabillies.  Half assed news coverage of what really occurred.  And as usual, the real story was ignored.

Mrs. Clinton is the ONLY human being to have served this country as First Lady, US Senator and Secretary of State.  The only one.  Maybe she has something to say?  Some teabilly jackhole popped off on the CAR website with “Who’s going to see “Hillary” this weekend?  Why is she even a speaker to begin with?  What’s that all about?”

Well you ignorant pile of parrot droppings, last year Condoleezza Rice spoke to the National Association of Realtors.  She’s got 10,000 bodies on her resume.  And as much as you idiots try to make something out of Bengazi that isn’t, Mrs. Clinton has none.  BTW, nice job lying on 60 minutes a couple of weeks ago.  And shame on CBS for getting hoodwinked again.  Do you idiots even know what journalism is any more?  How many times has this happened now?  Well, one really big time that ended Dan Rather’s career.  And when was Dan Rather wrong before?  Let’s see…oh yeah, 1981.  Yeah, James Brady is still with us.

Back to Mrs. Clinton.  It gives me hope that people in positions like her think like her.  The crux of her speech was that this country runs best when our middle class is healthy.  Part of that health is home ownership.  She also spoke to how this country runs best from the center, not from the extreme right or left.  And how we needed to put citizenship over partisanship.  She talked about how our standing throughout the world has been hurt by the jackassery (naturally my word not hers) that is occurring in Congress right now.  She talked about meeting with the top Asian leaders while we were screwing around with the fiscal cliff and what that was like.  Basically she said if we want to continue to be the world leader that we should be, we need to stop acting like a bunch of jackasses and take care of our business.  She’s right.  She pointed out how embarrassing it was that our President could not fly to Asia for a meeting of the heads of state because our government was shut down.  They stupid shit hurts us.  All of us.

I can only hope that the mid-terms bring a wave of discontent that washes us free of the teabillies.  And John Boehner.  I’ve had it with that guy.  I want to see centralists in there and I want our government doing what we pay them to do.

Interestingly I heard a guy say last night that Obama wasn’t business friendly.  Seriously?  Have you looked at the stock market?  The guy who isn’t business friendly is Bush.  This business friendly crap is just that.  Business friendly and socially responsible are not mutually exclusive.  Case in point: Howard Schultz.  Exhibit B?  Craig Jelinek.   Both companies pay their employees a living wages and both companies are extremely profitable.  So the Waltons, Mitt Romney and Bain Capital and all you other robber barons can go piss up a rope.  You are aware that as taxpayers we subsidize all their bullshit…right?  When a Walmart employee doesn’t make a living wage and needs SNAP to feed their family, we pay for that.  Yet the Waltons just throw another bucket of money into their treasure chests.  I haven’t been inside a Walmart since Long Beach Mississippi when we got cheap jeans and boots to go into New Orleans after Katrina and you shouldn’t either.

People we is not wrapped tight

If you ever had any question as to the validity of Fox News, I present this.  Go ahead.  Click on the link.  I’ll wait.  That is of course followed by the usual greek chorus which, if you didn’t know, includes allegations that our President is gay.  That in of itself is offensive.  They can’t get him on any thing else so he must be gay.  Except for one thing.  As usual they are full of shit.  Don’t believe me.  Let’s try on the Stars and Stripes and see what their take is.  They must be puppets of Obama’s socialist gay jihadist agenda.  Or maybe Fox News is full of shit.  I’ll wait.

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And away the conspiracy theorists went.  This is what happens when The Great Communicator defunds education.  We end up with a country full of idiots.  Yeah, y’all want to blame the children of immigrants (read Mexicans) for the low school scores but you keep saying things so incredibly stupid that it’s clear, it ain’t the first generationers.  It’s the inbred cousinhumpers that are screwing up the test scores…because they are freaking morons.  On a scale of the world, we are ranked…average.

So keep on cutting those taxes.  And keep on supporting those politicians that want to.  It’s part of a master plan to destroy the democracy.  It has nothing to do with Obama and everything to do with Wall Street.

Rappers take note.

And that’s the way it was

It’s a shame the government couldn’t get to work properly.  People waiting and then getting thrown out, having to log back in.  What a pain in the butt!  They tell us we have to get insurance and then the damned website won’t work.  Except even the Washington Post couldn’t find all bad with the system.  As a matter of fact she managed to find some places it was working pretty damned well.  Like California.  You know, the land of fruits and nuts.

Here’s the thing, since when did something work correctly right out of the box on a computer?  I write contracts and take listings on a system called WinForms.  It’s provided to me for free through the California Association of Realtors.  And it runs like yesterday’s dog crap.  Yesterday I couldn’t get it to take a buyer’s name on a counter offer.  I dickered with it for 30 minutes.  On a counter that should have taken 5 minutes total to put together.  I could have typed it on a goddamned Selectric in less time.



I didn’t go to the media.  I didn’t call CAR to complain about their shitty system that I’m stuck with.  I didn’t even try to call WinForms.  I did a couple of restarts.  I opened the program a couple of times and a muddled through.  If I hadn’t been on a time crunch I would have come back and done it later.




So I say to all of the people who are wetting themselves over the glitches in, are you just as boisterous when Microsoft shows you the blue screen of death?  Are you just as up in arms when your ISP goes down?  Do you even know what an ISP is?

That’s the thing.  It’s Obama’s flagship legislation and it’s government so it’s automatically bad.  Except it’s not.  It’s going to take some tweeks but when it’s all said and done, every new system does.  If you’ve ever rolled out something new, you know the first couple of weeks is nightmarish.  I am just disgusted that the news is giving these asshats traction.  Their job is to report, not to create the news.  Cronkite and the Huntley Brinkley Report are all gone.  They are probably all rolling in their graves.

Good night, and good luck.