Send lawyers, guns and money, the shit has hit the fan

Here’s a little light reading.  And if that wasn’t enough fun, here’s the response.  And some other interesting filings.  But wait there’s more!  And you can still cut a chicken!    I just got home but I wanted to get these up as quick as I could.  One of The Brother’s sayings that I like to quote is when people talk about lawyers taking all the money, he says “If y’all would just act right, I’d be out of business”.  Looks like there’s plenty of work for lawyers in Denver and Santa Ana tonight.

I get a New Toy, nothing too demanding

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I talked to Todd Bennett about which Curve to get. It’s to the point that I need email capabilities on the move. Todd is the shit. I couldn’t recommend someone more than I recommend Todd for this sort of stuff. Everyone I know has a curve. I figured it was the way to go. Not so much says Todd. Get the 3g iphone. Really? You’re advising me to get the the hottest toy on the market? So off I went on Monday. I guess I should turn on the news more often. They’d been sold out since 3pm that day, but more were coming in the next day. I could go on to Apple’s website and check to see if they were receiving more in the morning and then get in line at 7:30a.m. for a ticket to buy one. Really? No. I’m not doing that. So I went down around yesterday around 10:30 instead. They were out of the little ones and all I could get was the big boy. Rule of thumb with Apple: Always get the biggest and the bestest. So I did. It’s really cool and someday say three or four years from now, I’ll know how to use all the features. In the meantime I have GPS and email and a cool new toy.

That’s going to leave a mark

The Denver Post had this to say about Jerry’s antics. PBE’s gentle readers added this:

Not that much of a surprise since Patty was in bed with Bill before Jerry…whops, did I type that out loud?

Comment by TitleGossipMonger — August 6, 2008

You know nothing makes me laugh more than a good line well delivered.

My line of thinking is that the Bloodless Empire wins twice on this one. While the Evil Empire acquires a huge interest in Colorado, they also acquire a company from the Hauptmans. Even Bill might have to take a shower after this one. I have yet to meet someone who did business with the Hauptmans that didn’t want to take a long hot shower afterwards for years afterwards. Don’t know how that works if you’re already the Burgermeister. The Bloodless Empire is now free to bring direct operations into Colorado under their own brand without any prior agreements or pre-existing issues. I think they win twice. Actually three times as they get to pursue the counter-suit against Mercury. Anybody who can get their hands in Jerry’s pocket and come away with something out of wallet is good by me at this point.

Down on the farm


It’s the only one that’s ready right now. It was a rockin’ tomato.

Big dog, little dog, red dog, blue dog



From this angle it doesn’t look it, but he has been neutered. Bubba and Rita just adore each other. OK, I’m an asshole. I’m buckling. Have your fun. Bubba stays. The Gnome did me in.

Veins of power struggle explode into a bloody mess

I am fascinated by all of this.  Everyone I know who has done business with the Hauptmans walks away feeling the uncontrolable desire to take a hot shower.  My advice to Parker Kennedy, don’t drop the soap in Colorado, at least not while Jerry’s around.  Rockymtntitle had this to say last night:

You nailed it EO – Parker Kennedy was in Colorado today holding meetings with management to finalize the last few details(Hauptman not present) Left work today thinking the Colo Mercury companies were as good as sold to FATCO, then……BAM, Jerry sold to Fidelity. Do you think he’s laughing all the way to the bank?

I think he’s morally corrupt.  After a thirty year relationship with FATCO he sues them, negotiates with them and then sells it out from under them to the Evil Empire?  Jerry and Bill deserve each other.   I also think that the Bloodless Empire will be releasing the Legal Hounds of Hell in that suit between them and Mercury Companies.  All bets are off now.  FATCO is generally pretty conservative in legal matters.  I could see the gloves coming off here.  Hard to say.  Parker Kennedy is a pretty low key guy from all the reports I’ve gotten from Santa Ana.  But you don’t bring a company to the prominence that FATCO has achieved by being a lap dog either.  Could get interesting.  Jerry’s companies owe FATCO a lot of money.  Interesting.  Does anybody know, do they still have an interest in Intero Real Estate?

The Bubba Chronicles

Bubba had that paunch that dogs get when they’re fed not the best quality dog food.  Getting that off of him was my first job and that’s complete.  He’s got a waist again.  Now I have to build up the muscle that atrophied while he was in prison.  That should take about another couple of weeks.  He now sits pretty for his meals.  I feed three times a day because Dobermans are prone to bloat.  This gives him three times a day to figure out what I’d like him to do.  He’s done very well.   He walked on the lead with much more confidence yesterday.  Last night I brought him into my office while I was working so we could multi task and work on his down.  He did it so well that he fell asleep.  Rita’s down isn’t this good.


No, I’m not keeping him.


I haven’t played golf in over two months.  I’ve been to the range probably once a week.  One of the guys at the gym has been dogging me to go play.  I agreed to a little 9 holer yesterday.  He’s a pretty good golfer.  I’m always amazed when guys like that bring their game down to my level.  It’s never intentional.  We played Marine Corp golf yesterday…left, left, left right left.  It reminded me of the time I played Corde Valle in San Martin.  It was the Intero Foundation tournament.   I’d been playing very regularly and that day, my game went on holiday.  It’s a gorgeous course and you get your own caddy.  By about the 7th hole my caddy looked like he’d been dragged off into the woods by a bear who had his way with him.  I don’t think I actually hit a fairway all day.  At the 11th hole I started ordering Jello shots and told him to quit looking for my lost balls.  Yesterday was kind of like that, without the caddy or the gorgeous course.  In the end I played double bogey golf.  I actually ran four balls around the rim of the cup.  Not one of them dropped.  I parred the hardest hole on the course and triple bogeyed a 3 par.  You just have to laugh at rounds like that.


Ah, I feel better. Hey kids! Look what I found! Yeah, that’s exactly what you think it is. Don’t stop there Wine Dog! OK, I won’t. Is this wrong? How about this? Here’s the map. This is kind of a re-hash for those who have been here a while, but it’s just like the I Love Lucy Vitameatavegamin gag. I laugh every time.

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This just in!!!!


Game over.

Leave your body and soul at the door . . .

This was not discussed in the investor call yesterday. I know, I listened to the whole molar grinding event. Here’s what’s going to happen. Mercury is going to file bankruptcy and First American is going to take over the Colorado operations. FATCO currently has no direct operations in Colorado and they’ve been champing at the bit to get some for a long time. The agreement with Mercury kept them at bay. The counter-suit will bury Mercury Companies. For some reason Colorado is the new battle ground. Ted’s Excellent Title Adventure is busy trying out their new business model in Colorado and FATCO wants in before it takes hold. Mark my words.


This gal is standing out in front of Arapahoe practicing her scales. (I have an endless supply of singing fat ladies)

I would love to see the corporate veil ravaged pierced. I don’t know if that will happen or not. At this point it would have to be a rupture to get to the house in Montecito. (Which they still own…you can’t hide assets from Title Officers) Or the Mountain House (the deed is posted in here last December somewhere) Or the condo in Denver. Does anybody know of any property I missed?

A voice from our friends in the desert:

On Tuesday afternoon everyone got an email saying urgent conference call at 4:30. REDACTED I got the email too late and when I finally got a hold of a girl I worked with she said that they had a meeting and not to come in tomorrow and we would not be getting paid our final check or any money for our vacation time! I went in that evening to get my stuff and drop off my key.

Danny Sullivan (State president,) Susan Lockhart (President of operations/escrow)and Kaaren Summers (VP of escrow) are all still working- there are rumors that they are working under first american trying to move the files over and get things closed…. I know a lot of employees are upset that Danny, Susan and Kaaren may still be working and getting paid. Why didn’t they just quit? It was evil what Mercury did to us and now that are on their side???

When we try to call HCI- who supposedly managed us, they can’t talk… they give us this bogus Mercury number with a message- 303-571-9090.

See, when we merged (Arizona Title, Title Guaranty and American Heritage), Mercury put Ginny Johnson in charge of us— but legally they did not own us, so they can’t talk to us. I heard that it was said that HCI “washed their hands of us.”

There is also dirt about Ginny- when we merged, she made us fire all of our sales reps to save money or just a twisted experiment. Consequently she has over 2 sales people per office. Once the sales people were fired, our sales went down.

Arizona title employees were told after the last lay offs that Jerry was just keeping the best of the best and laying off to minimize costs until this financial storm was over – I believe the exact words were “weathering the storm.” They also said ” there is always a market in Arizona” and that was why Jerry did not want to pull out….

I can’t even file a wage claim because I am owed more than $2500 (they owe me about $5000.) So I have to talk to legal aid, I was on hold 30 minutes and then they hung up on me!!! What a freakin mess!

Word is that someone is getting a lawyer and we are going to file a class action suit. I am going to go down to the legal aid office today and probably wait hours to speak with someone when I should be looking for a job. (I had to pull my 401k to survive)

FWIW, people stayed on with Alliance too. In their positions, it was the right thing to do for the customers. I know emotions are high right now, but it is the right thing for them to do. And it’s very hard for them to do it, believe it. My advice, go with whatever the State of Arizona has that’s comparable to the Department of Industrial Relations here. I think at this point there is nothing to recover from unless the corporate veil is pierced all the way to the Hauptman personal fortune.

Today’s Contest:

Guess the country where the Hauptman’s hid all the money in a numbered account. Bonus points if the country doesn’t extradite for financial crimes.

Finally, for cheap entertainment…put “Patty Hauptman” in the Google. Holla!
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Mercury press release

To: Real Estate Broker .com
Sent: 7/31/2008 XXXXX P.M. Mountain Daylight Time
Subj: Security Title Press Release

Mercury Companies Statement – July 30, 2008

Mercury Companies’ Colorado companies – including Security Title, United Title, First American Heritage, Title America and Guardian Mortgage Documents, Inc. – are completely unaffected by the July 29, 2008 decision to cease funding operations in Arizona, California and Texas and will continue business as usual. Despite the difficult market, these Colorado-based companies have remained profitable and, in fact, are market leaders sharing approximately 30 percent of the Colorado market. Security Title, United Title, First American Heritage and Title America continue to process transactions and will continue to do so on a normal basis, just as they have for 60 successful years.
In discussions with Mercury Companies, our valued partner Wells Fargo Home Mortgage Company has stated that there will be no disruption in the day-to-day working relationship between Mercury Companies including Security Title, United Title, First American Heritage and Title America.

For more information please contact Lambros Gianos at 303-220-9999 or Tina Lemieux at 303-889-8464.
This message was sent from Security Title Press Release to

It was sent from: Security Title Guaranty Co., 4643 South Ulster Street, Denver, CO 80237. You can modify/update your subscription via the link below.

Still going…

From the peanut gallery, one of the best television news articles I’ve seen on the subject.

A big PBE welcome to our brethren in the Copper State.  Oregon…anybody in da house?  I know the Lone Star State has checked in…

Today is a day of reckoning let the weak be strong, let the right be wrong

More off the Coconut Telegraph

-Ivy Anderson resigned the day before this all went down (I had the chance to work with her on a few things when she was the CFO at Alliance; I’m not a fan of hers at all)

-Sandi Sigg knew of this at least a couple of days in advance, but didn’t even tell a soul until late Tuesday night/early Wednesday morning (I heard the Sac Region President Mary Lou Oaks wasn’t notified until very late Tuesday).

-As of 7:30 PM last night, no final checks with any type of wages were issued. It looks like they worked for nothing for the past two weeks.

If this is the case and you’re in California, here’s something else off the Telegraph:

This just in from Mark Simpkins, who represents some Alliance ex-employees.

He will probably be expanding the lawsuit to include LFC, Investors, and Financial. All former employees should file a wage claim with the State as soon as possible. Here’s the Link: DIR Once they do that, they will automatically be included in the State’s lawsuit, and will receive e-mails updates from Mr. Balter. They don’t need to contact him unless he asks them to do so.

This will work for any now ex-employee of Financial Title Company, Lender’s First Choice or apparently Investor’s in the State of California who was not paid wages, vacation or commission earned.

OldTitleGuy sent me this little gem this morning.


In case you missed the original filing…


Now if anyone would like to play a round of “Find the missing $37.3 million Dollars” we’ll be choosing up teams later on today. Maybe Skippity would like to captain Team Ice Cream?

Be sure to check out the Radical. She occasionally scoops me and she got me this morning on bounced LFC checks to the notaries. Ouch mon!

Did the Bloodless Empire finally block my ass? That’s what I’m hearing. What a bunch of cry babies. Sorry, your Kool-aid wasn’t my flavor. That’s ok, I come in nice and clear on your home machines, and then you can get the videos too. It’s not like I posted a photoshopped picture of Park Kennedy and a Las Vegas show girl or anything.


Now, you can block me.