• Home Improvements,  Photojournalism

    French police wouldn’t give me no peace

    Bubba mixed it up with Loki yesterday. It was the worst fight he’s been in. They locked on each other and weren’t giving in. The Brother had Loki I think by the scruff or maybe in a barrel hug and I had Bubba by his haunches and I was pulling away. I thought Bubba was ok, but he just continues to get his ass kicked. His face is punctured. He’s still on antibiotics from the asskicking Rita handed him, so it’s just another day at the farm. He was actually really protective when they first got here and he really didn’t back off that position too much. Loki was a…

  • Home Improvements,  Photojournalism,  Wine of the Day

    The intergalactic laxative will get you from here to there

    I’ve been busy taking care of just general house stuff today. As a matter of fact, I didn’t start a car today. It takes the better part of two hours to clean the slate here. I think there’s around a 750 square feet of it, every entrance is slated. That way when winter rolls around and muddy paws come in and out, they don’t track on the carpet. Unfortunately, with the back yard not being landscaped, all the dogs do is turn the dirt to powder, kick the powder up and it ultimately blows into the house. So it takes a sweeping then a scrubbing and then a second mopping…

  • Corporate Wankers,  Home Improvements

    Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning

    It goes boom! My goodness, where to start on something like this? I would say something like I told you so, but that would be smug. How long do you think this can go on with exploding flower pots? I wonder what kind of stomach Santa Ana’s has for dead people. Say cheese At what point does the bullshit stop? This is enough to make my head blow up. And y’all think this makes you closer to God? Bet not. As a matter of fact, I think it puts you out with the moneychangers. Wonder what was on the note McSame stuck between the Stilton and the Gruyere. La porte…

  • Bon Mots and Cheap Shots,  Home Improvements,  Title Insurance

    I got good lemonade, dixie cups all flavors and push ups too

    I think we have a PBE business opportunity! We got Skip selling $30 Missile Pops in Los Altos Hills, Grooks is picking up the slack in the Capital Corridor with the Govenator Special $21 Missile Pops, I’m sure I can get a truck going out here in Claycord. Anybody want the the Pissburg route? You can sell nickel bags along with your $19 Missile Pops. [youtube YpZAkjW_ezs] I never used to give a crap about growing things. Mostly because the only thing I could grow was strangely roses. I’ve had some great roses over the years. Then I moved into that house last year with the grapefruit tree and two…

  • Cycling,  Home Improvements

    And the best that you can hope for is to die with your boots on

    Let’s start off with a google keywords of the weak week. who bought world savings (Wachovia, and I’m sure they’ve fired whoever it was that made THAT decision) kettlebell skwigg (I know kettlebells and I know skwigg) alliance title company lawsuits (which one?) robert parker sucks (maybe, but he’s just a fan of the fruit bomb wines. I like the elegance of wine) after a dog has puppies is there suppose to be a green string hanging out of her? (No) first american title sucks (Ouch mon) john harritt doberman for cheap prices in concord (If you did this google search you don’t deserve a Doberman, besides you’re an idiot…

  • Bon Mots and Cheap Shots,  Corporate Wankers,  Home Improvements

    Beautiful Mess

    As everyone knows, I take requests. This came in via the Radical today. Telecommunication tower in India Now, I can’t verify that it’s actually India, that’s what was represented, I’m sure our crack team of gentle readers can help get to the bottom of it, but for now, I’m going with India. Truth be told, I don’t have anything against India. As a matter of fact, I’ve heard that once you’re out of the cities, it’s an amazing place. I’d love for every country including our own to be prosperous and for everyone to be fed and educated and healthy. I have a friend who’s an entrepreneur. He’s got business…

  • Bon Mots and Cheap Shots,  Cycling,  Dogs,  Home Improvements,  Photojournalism

    I’m not expecting to grow flowers in the desert

    Today I rode Bear Creek with my friend Javier. We met at Morgan Stanley. We went through the Series 7 and sale training together. He’s over at Oppenheimer now and I’m one of the Undead. Bear Creek is an 18 mile course that has three ridiculous hills at the end… the three bears. Back in the 1970’s this course was used by the Olympic team for time trials. They had to do three laps. Last time we did this I couldn’t get the last two hills without a break. This time I got it but I’m pretty sure I will be unable to move tomorrow morning. If I could solve…

  • Cycling,  Home Improvements

    To the Lord, praises be, it’s time for dinner now let’s go eat

    Rita’s new diet has been going on for a week now. She gets a cup of food in the morning with kefir on it, a cup in the evening with the special mixture my Dad made (raw chicken, raw ground chuck, raw eggs, macaroni, cheese, spinach and potatoes) and then another cup at 9pm with a satin ball mixed in. She thinks it’s peachy. Beauregard thinks she’s a little bitch because she gets a 3rd meal he doesn’t. He’s been a little attitudinal about it all. The biggest thing is that he will bare his teeth in the evening if she tries to get between him and me. In truth,…

  • Corporate Wankers,  Home Improvements,  Title Insurance

    It is time for you to laugh instead of crying

    I did a little research the other night, because that’s what us title officers like to do. Did you know that the price of a gallon of gas in 1998 was $1.07 average per gallon. On January 20, 2001 it was $1.57. Today it’s $3.65. That’s over 300% inflation in ten years. Did your salary increase 300%? Housing has tripled in the same period of time, now with the pullback at around 15% in these parts, it’s still up over 200%. Did your salary double in the last ten years? If you live in California, a kwh of electricity cost .115 cents in 2001. Then Enron came to town. Now…

  • Home Improvements

    When you’re the master of the off-chance

    Today, I thought I’d return to home improvements. I’ve been installing moulding a door that’s been hung but the shims haven’t been cut down and the moulding hasn’t been done, so that’s nearly done. The master bedroom closet was a total piece of crap. I had to bolster the wood rod in the middle, but it’s really just not doing the job. That’s just barely functional. And I so can’t deal with all the not used space. So after two hours at the Container Store yesterday. Thirty minutes designing and buying my stuff, 90 minutes waiting for it to come up because they have the largest shrinkage in Walnut Creek…