Both Arizona and Florida, bastions of intellectual thinking have implemented drug testing for welfare recipients. They will tell you that if you have enough money to buy drugs you don’t need government assistance Sounds reasonable right? Ah silly you, listening to our sound byte society. Since 2009 Arizona has tested 87000 people. Yes. 87,000. At a cost of $30-$40 per test. They caught exactly one drug abuser. One. So they spent upwards of $3,000,000 to save $560 by not paying that one drug addict. Well done idiots. Who wins? The drug test manufacturer and the drug test company who got fat contracts from a bunch of stupid old white people who spend too much time listening to Sheriff Joe and that shriveled up excuse for a Governor they have. See, it pays to scare old people.
Oh! Just think of all the people who didn’t take the drug test because they knew they were going to get caught! Once again. Idiots. It’s a little more than 1% of the total. And since when did drug addict make good decisions anyway? Who is the dumb one here? The People of the State Arizona or the drug addicts?
Let’s take a quick look at Florida. Also a bastion of forward thinking. And stupid old white people. Similar law, similar result. Arizona asks people before they test them if they are taking drugs, some opted out (the one percenters) Florida tested 4086 people. 108 failed. Florida spent $118,140 testing for drugs and found 108 mostly pot smokers. That States total loss for the program $45,780. Dear Right Wing Teabillies, I can save you some money right here you idiots.
The thing is we get sold a bill of goods by companies. We’re putting all these people in prisons right now but the prisons are being privatized which means somebody makes money if people are in prisons. Get it? We drug test, not because it’s going to save us money but because we don’t want to let some welfare grandma who doesn’t have a pot to piss in or a window to through it out of smoke the reefer. What the hell is wrong with us?
Which brings me to my next article which I am not going to expound on today. I am just going to ask you to go read it, er digest it, and be prepared to discuss it. There are evil empires in the food industry and they do not give a crap about your health. That’s why 57% of this country is now obese. So what’s the solution to obesity? Why the gastric band or the gastric sleeve, just call your Doctor to get one! High cholesterol? Not to worry! Call you Doctor to get Lipitor! Mr Happy doesn’t work any more? Not to worry we have a gazillion different drugs to solve that and every one is paid for by Medicare! It’s not like that nasty birth control stuff they don’t pay for. Low T? Not to worry, call you Doctor and ask for our new drug. You can use it just like an underarm deodorant! Just don’t get any on your prepubescent children, that could be bad.
Don’t lift a goddamn finger to do any more than you absolutely have to. Just buy more shit from us. We’ll keep getting rich and you’ll keep getting sick.