Teeth are extruded and bones are ground

I wrote a really really great speech for my Toastmaster’s Club last night.  It was a speech contest and I’m generally golden for contests.  I have the presence and I tear it up.  It was called “One foot in the grave and another on a Banana Republic”.   It was a really good speech.

I used to live in Santa Barbara.  Santa Barbara is a tough town to make it in.  There is incredible wealth down there.  When I lived there Streisand had a house there.  The Shah of Iran’s sister lived up on the hill.  David Nancarrow the founder of Carrow’s restaurants and owner of Sambo’s lived there.  We used to have a postcard that hung in our department that said “Santa Barbara is like a Banana republic.  There are the wealthy landowners and the kitchen help.”

I see a guy standing on the corner of Treat and Contra Costa with a sign that says “Pray for our country” and I think this guy probably doesn’t understand why he should be praying for our country.  It’s got nothing to do with our President or the fact that Hawaii is not a state in Kenya.  Or the fact that our President is spite or having attended both a muslim and catholic school as a boy is baptized Christian as an adult.  It has to do with what the power brokers of Wall Street are doing to turn this country into a Banana Republic.  And friends, we are the kitchen help.

The issues as I see them are that there are fewer and fewer ways for the average American to make a decent living in this country.  There has been a concerted effort to break the unions.  At the time it could be argued that the unions weren’t necessary, but what we’ve seen since the unions have been broken is an eroding of workplace conditions and worker benefits.

The next assault we saw on the American worker was huge companies like Wells Fargo laying off thousands of workers at a time, only to bring the back through a temporary firm with less pay and no benefits.

You may say that’s acceptable, it’s a capitalistic society and you would be half right.  But I ask you, if we don’t empower the people with a decent wage how will they acquire goods and services you are selling, who are the customers?

We’ve gone from a healthy strong economy to finally a stable economy.  We’ve seen 13 consecutive quarters of growth.  But we are barely stable.  Just like James Carville helped Clinton sink Bush I with the phrase “It’s the economy stupid” we could now be looking at an entire Congress sunk by one word.  Jobs.  I listen to them blathering on about things that shouldn’t even be discussed anymore they are such yesterday’s news.  It’s about jobs.

We are stagnant and we need to get Americans back to work.  And I’m not talking $8.25 at Starbucks.  Back to decent jobs.  We need a new industry and that industry is energy.  We need to quit suckling on the oil industry and build fuel efficient vehicles and alternative fuel vehicles because it’s the right thing to do.  It saves our planet and gets our country back to work.

We are coming from a place of mine mine mine like a bunch of four year olds.  We beat on our tattered Bibles and let a starving man die.  Who are we and when did this hateful behavior become ok?  What religion tells us it’s ok to let our fellow man suffer?  Where did we lose our compassion?

I come from a place of abundance.  If I can give you a leg up, I’m going to.  I gave my office mate half of one of my deals.  He had been very supportive of me all alone and I felt I wanted someone to partner with on this one listing.  He gave me back two of his deals.  We work from a place of abundance.  The more we have, the more we have.  We support our co-workers to be more successful in their businesses, because the more we are successful the more we are all successful.

We need to embrace each other’s struggle and come from a place of abundance.  We need to lift up those who are struggling, regardless of the religious beliefs, because it’s the right thing to do.  Because when the weakest of us wins, we all win.

We will always need the kitchen help.  But they are help, not stray dogs that we toss scraps to.  I pray for America, but I pray we right the ship and don’t become a banana republic.

Goddamn that’s good.  Unfortunately that’s not the speech I delivered last night.  We can’t use notes and generally I just cruise.  I got up there last night and I started trembling.  And I got dry mouth.  And I freaking forgot where I was at the third paragraph and had to look at my notes.  I stunk it up.  Afterwards one of our resident Republicans came up to me and told me I had the better speech and what happened?  I have no idea, it’s never happened before.  I’d done the speech at least the requisite six times in the truck while driving between appointments yesterday.   I read through it at least five times pacing the hallway before I went in.  I just stunk it up last night.

As for our resident Republican, I did point out to her that we agree on more stuff than disagree, inferring that perhaps her party allegiance was misguided.

Compelling.  But I’ve been saying it’s a seller’s market for over a year now.  And right now everybody else is jumping on board.  A year ago I was looked upon as the village idiot.  Yeah, notsomuch.  Now I’m the smartest guy in the room.

This little dog is the sweetest dog ever.  Ever.  In the morning I say “Come here Sweetheart” and she comes into my office and just stands there to get pet.  She doesn’t ask for anything except to go out.  She lets my knuckleheads all run past her in the morning to get out and waits her turn for her breakfast.  I would like to take the rat bastard that over bred her and dumped her and chain them to the trailer hitch of my truck and drag them about 40 miles.

Another idiot who overbred a bitch and dumped her at the shelter when she needed some medical attention.  I think I have room for two on my trailer hitch.  There is a fiery place in hell for these sorry ass excuse for human beings.

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