Corporate Wankers

The mirror speaks, the reflection lies

These guys are agents at the Cult of Red. Huge producers who go around the country teaching others how to succeed in the short sale market.

We had a deal in our office last year where Chase wouldn’t work with the owner or agent on the short sale, the buyer finally walked and the homeowner said “Screw it”, walked away and moved to Texas. SIX MONTHS LATER Chase sends the homeowner in Texas a letter saying they will pay him $30,000 to short sale his house. He calls back his agent at the Cult of Red and sonofabitch if they don’t short sell the house and the homeowner gets $30,000. Our trusty agent is just standing there blinking his eyes wondering WTF just happened. The rest of us are trying to see if we can get $30k out of our places.

I’ve got two short sale listings going right now. It’s enough to make you want to stab your own eyes out. Remember Chase’s not so professional Short Sale Negotiator 3? She’s long gone in this deal. And so was that original offer. Then I got a second offer and the buyer got sick of waiting to hear from Chase and he bought the unit on the other end of the complex and closed. And I’m still screwing around with Chase on now the third offer. With a sale date of July 7. I’d love to get that homeowner some cash from them, especially since they’ve killed two deals just by being unresponsive.

Strangely I now have a third offer and I called and got a negotiator who had a real phone number, actually answered her phone, spoke English as a first language and not some ghetto derivative. Hopefully this morning’s call to her will yield a blessing to move forward.

The other one is with Wells. It’s gone something like this. I send all the documents and receive absolute silence in return. I send the offer in. The 10 day cash offer in. Silence. I badger and badger to silence. Then I get an email giving me 24 hours to produce a litany of bullshit. I do. Then silence. I badger and receive a response that I didn’t send any of the documents. This dumbass wants a preapproval on a cash offer. The offer is $110k, the buyer sent in a bank account showing $324k in the bank. He doesn’t need a freaking preapproval. I write a list of questions. I receive a response that answers none of them. I write back that I have sent all the documents she wanted, did she not receive them? She says “Oh yeah, I have the HUD, but the 2010 taxes need to be signed.” Uh, my borrower filed electronically. That means the taxes are signed electronically and there isn’t a place to sign them. You’ve heard of TurboTax right? It’s been around for say 20 years? Today’s question to this person “When will my negotiator be assigned?” It will be the same as tomorrow’s question. And the next day until I get a negotiator.


  • OldTitleGuy

    We have a collection of flyers in our office from brokers in various parts of SoCal which essentially say, “let me do a short sale and we will give you 25k”. These deals involve a BPO at a price, and an immediate flip at a significantly higher price. That 25k doesn’t magically appear out of thin air. They are offering this openly. In writing.

  • Wine Dog

    That’s insane! Did they not read the material before they took their exam? Next year when we ride by Lompoc, I’ll say hello to them.

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