Thibodeaux, fontaineaux, the place is buzzin’

Jack Assery, party of one, your table is ready.

OK, I know.  blahblahblah.

Thieves.  These thieves are lucky.  I don’t know that I would have been able to restrain my desire to fire off rounds at them if I’d been home.

These little d-bags stole my catalytic converter.  They unbolted it at the back but then used a pipe cutter to cut my goddamned header because the front bolts were seized.  I want to shoot them all.  I was out of town at The Cult of Red’s Family Reunion (an amazing event that makes me proud to be affiliated with them) when this happened and my dogs were in their kennels while my dog sitter slept.  If my dogs had been in the bedroom with me, I doubt these asshats would have gotten away with it.  I truly believe Ike would have woken up and at the very least given a bark.  I could have gotten off a round or two before they got away.  But finally I have to say something nice about Concord PD.  They caught them.  And they got my cat back.  And they talked Concord Toyota into reinstalling it.  So instead of having to buy a new one at $1200, I bought a new header at $300.  Add another $300 in labor and it’s back out there for these little turds to try and steal it again.  Yes, we’re going for restitution.  There are four of them.  I want every one of them to pay $600 and I want the extra to go to charity because I couldn’t use my truck to rescue any dogs or go to any AIDS Lifecycle training rides because of them.  There are consequences goddammit.

On a lighter note.

Duke is a very sensitive young man.  He’s a bit of a serial little dog mauler.  He went after a Boston yesterday.  Twice.  The little girl was just trying to say “Hi!”.  Duke was trying to do a Sylvester/Tweety bird on her.  We had a very serious discussion about his behavior.  When we got back to the condo Duke put himself on a time out.  I’ve never seen a dog who punishes himself before.  I’m down to the three who belong here and that’s kind of nice.

Prescott is living merrily up in Rossmoor with another old lady.  I thought I might have made a mistake with him.  He was a little younger and stronger than I expected.  I suggested that maybe he wasn’t the right dog for her.  Two days later everything is solved and there are no more issues.  Because Prescott is a perfect dog.

The third time he jumped on me he got a knee in the chest.

Little Sister is doing awesome in Oakland at her new home.  She had a little adjustment period too.  Crates.  That’s all I have to say.  Use crates.

Last I heard, Hannibal had everybody wrapped around his paw in Michigan.

Tomorrow I’m rolling out my new project.  It’s pretty simple and self explanatory.  Oh yeah, and if it catches on like it should it will save our nation $2 billion annually.  Really.  The Wine Dog will save this nation $2 billion annually.  Starting tomorrow.

And you’ll be pleased to know I’ve got a few rants in me.  But today in the interest of time, I’ll boil them down to a paragraph.

Somalian pirates.  The solution is simple.  Hook all 15 of those little rat bastards to the back of the US Navy destroyer and use them for chum on the way back to port.  Then stack up their ransom demand, whatever it was, set it afire and burn whatever the sharks didn’t eat for all to see.  These guys are savages and this is what they understand.  I don’t understand why we have been such pansies about this crap.  We go blow up a bunch of mud huts after 9/11 after waiting 32 days to do anything, and now we let these maggots continue to operate.  They are criminals acting in international waters.  Game over.

Gaddafi.  Or Khaddafi.  Or whatever.  He’s the best argument against what Bush did in Iraq.  We don’t have the man power to get involved in another skirmmish and over throw another crazy guy in the Middle East.  Even though this is the one that really deserves it.   Although every time I think of him I remember that we had a toy ball, I don’t remember where we got it, that my rugby team used to play with before practice.  It was the head of a terrorist.  This was back in the 90’s.  We called it the Khaddafi ball.  Or Gaddafi.  Or.

Wisconsin.  Cheese.  Remember when Reagan broke the air traffic controllers union?  Think we’re better off because he did that?  Nope.  Not a fan of union breaking.  I know the UAW is out of control, but from my experience, the unions allow people to do their jobs without worrying about a lot of other crap that people worry about in their jobs.  Union workers have superior benefits.  Wouldn’t you like to have better benefits?  Work conditions are generally better.  And they don’t find themselves involved in class actions suits for wages not paid.  I’m on my fourth now.  I got the call the other day.

Like The Brother says, if y’all would act right, but you won’t.  So here we sit.

Just for the record, I hear all this bullshit about bad teachers who just go on and on with tenure.  Name one.  Name one goddamned teacher that is so shitty that they need to be fired but can’t be because of tenure.  Name one.  I dare you to.  Can’t?  That’s what I thought.  That teacher is a right wing bug-a-boo and doesn’t exist any more than the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus.

OK, not that Santa.

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