Bon Mots and Cheap Shots,  Rant

It wasn’t me (you clocked goin’ 114 MPH!)

“Got a lump on my head and a boot print on my chest.
What the guys in here call the Tillamook county lie detector test.
Well I did my best,
but as a you mighta guessed
it’s a tough test not to fail.
I’m sittin’ here waitin’ in the Tillamook County Jail.”
Todd Snider, Tilimook County Jail

A few months ago, our beloved Wine Dog talked about being set up and railroaded. Her story was so inspiring, I set out to follow her lead.
On 6/28 I was dressed in my best Orange and Black to match my son. The Dodgers were in town and we were going to boo them into submission (or fail to do so). It was a long game and the ghost of Steve Garvey and Walter Alston were too strong. The Giants came in 2nd. Damn Dodgers!
We took Interstate 280 South to get home. Traffic was moving very fast through Daly City, so I took the teaching opportunity and slowed to 70 mph and moved into the #3 lane (my son is 16 and studying for his learner’s permit). I stayed there until some jackhole jumped on my bumper. He was really going fast, too; asshole! Then the inbred through on his red lights. I just passed the Sand Hill Road off ramp. I pulled to the right and the jerk started yelling in his horn, “exit Alpine rd and park under the light!”. I did.
He yelled at me to tell him how fast I was going. When I said, 71/72, he stopped me and said I had one more chance to tell him the truth. I said I hit 80, in Daly City but slowed down after I moved right. He said he clocked me at 114 mph in the #4 lane, back at Edgewood Rd/Canada rd on-ramp. I was gong so fast it took him that long to catch me. LIAR!
I tried to convince Officer Fife that he was mistaken. I never drive in the number 4 land and I’ve never driven 114 mph! He cited me anyway. 114 mph is a major big deal of ticket. Its a mandatory court appearance. I was lucky they didn’t arrest me and impound my car. This asshole was causing me some major grief and this was just the beginning.
Today I had my day in court. I brought my 16 year old son, who was with me in the car and who saw everything. He had to watch 2 officers lie. They lied in their report and they lied when I questioned them. They said I was doing 88 mph, when they finally caught me. They said my car (Honda S2000) has a distinct and unique sound to its exhaust. When I asked how could they hear the exhaust with my 4 cylinder engine allegedly screaming at 114 mph, they had no answer. They lied with they said they confirmed the sound of the exhaust when I came to a stop (I stopped the engine before them came out of their car). The fat Sr. officer (Officer Bilbrady was training), lied when he said he confirmed the car they clocked was the car they pulled over. The told the truth when they said they lost eye contact with the speeding car at Woodside Rd (that’s where I would have exited if I’d been going 114 mph and the dumbass cops weren’t on my butt yet). The judge took note. I said, the speeding car must have gotten off there, but it didn’t pass me and I never went north of 72 mph (after Daly City).
The judge asked them 3 time if they’d consider amending the citation to a simple speeding infraction. They refused. The judge then decided I was guilty (of speeding in excess of 100 mph).
I’m being fined nearly $800 and getting two points against my record and I’m, grounded. That’s right, a restricted license for 30 days means I’m grounded (I’m home officed, so the to and from work allowance really means I am free to walk or ride a bike anywhere I need to go.). I haven’t had a moving violation or accident for 17 years! Higher insurance rates are in my future. I’m fairly certain the keystone cops did clock someone going that fast, but it certainly wasn’t me.
I can’t believe my tax dollars pay these low achievers! My son saw a judge without balls and he saw Officer Ponch and his side kick lie under oath. Not a proud day.
time to move on!

Take it away, Todd!

Worked in and around title industry for 15 years (1992-2007). Been through one big down turn and it was bad. Saw the writing on the wall and I won't look back!


  • titleslug

    The Honda S2000 can do 114 mph. It is a two seat roadster that generates 245HP out of a high performance 4 cylinder engine. It has a rock hard suspension that loves hugging curves. It’s a fun car, on mountain roads. However, I’ve never had it over 100 mph. Driving fast through traffic is just too dangerous. I’m old and I’m chicken. Going 114 mph is a young man’s game (or a thrill seekers game).
    Too late for a lawyer. In hindsight, I needed to be a lawyer and attack the liar cops testimony. Instead I was a victim. Just an infraction, but it’s still 2 points (and no driving school to get rid of them).

Leave a Reply