Bon Mots and Cheap Shots

I saw those high-stepping sexy witches, sons of Satan, sons-of-bitches

Let’s stay in our happy place.

Ahhhhh.  Wasn’t that nice?  I said I might discuss what goes on inside the Wine Dog head.  I’ve been thinking about it for about 10 days and I decided that it doesn’t really matter, so here goes.

I have had a recurring dream for probably the last 20 years.  It’s simple.  I’m driving.  Originally it was over the Coronado bridge.  Since then it has been along the coast north of Laguna and on a pier in Alaska.  Originally I drove the Mustang and more often than not I am driving the Mustang.  Occasionally I’ll be driving the truck.  Never the BMW but I don’t know why that is.  Anyway, I come over the top of the Coronado bridge and halfway down the decline it’s water.  The road is swamped.  I hit the brakes but the car slides into the drink.  I climb out the window and swim away.  Sometimes I come around the corner north of Laguna and the road is underwater.  I hit the brakes or sometimes I think I can drive through it.  I get swamped and swim away.  The one in Alaska, Xica was walking on a pier.  There was ice on either side of the low wooden pier.  Xica turns towards the truck and stops and I touch the brakes.  The truck slides into the drink and I swim away.  I’ve been told that the symbolism is that I’m overwhelmed but my subconscious knows I will get out of it.

A couple of weeks ago I was hanging out with the Berkeley All Blues.  Not really.  I played for them in the early 90’s retiring from rugby in 1993.  Anyway we were at an airport, I think it was John Wayne and this giant bird came down and took our assistant coach.  Now we didn’t have an assistant coach when I played, but this team did and he was a young guy, 26 to be exact.  And this giant eagle came down and grabbed him and flew him up to the 21st floor and dropped him.  And he died.  And because the team wanted to get home because they were tired from the tournament, they put him in a body bag and were going to check him with their luggage.  So here’s all these bags that say “Berkeley All Blues” on the side lined up at the airport and then this one big black body bag that was the assistant coach.  Good luck figuring that one out.

There is a haunted house that shows up a lot.  It’s a narrow railroad flat from San Francisco.  And it’s pretty dilapidated.  So bad you can’t get from floor to floor very easily.  But it’s haunted all to shit.  There are really evil spirits in this place.  They look like Klansmen but they are already dead, they’re spirits.  And I’m always stuck in one little room hoping the evil spirits don’t get into the room.  I always have to go to another room for some asinine reason too.  And it’s really really scary.  The house is all off white inside and it’s always night time.  I’m always pretty unsettled after that one.

And then one night I was in a flop house.  And there was a murder and I discovered it.  Somebody came in a lined up all the junkies and cut their throats and left them in a nice little row.  And I was the person who discovered it.  I didn’t want to go into the room because I could smell the blood before I came in.  And they were all dead and there was no way out and I didn’t know where the bad guy was.  Seriously.  That’s the shit that goes on in my head when I’m sleeping.

That makes puppy dog pictures and lettuce growing and dog farts pretty good fodder.  I feel sorry for any poor schmuck that gets stuck with me in a nursing home.

I tried to get a guy into contract last year, never did.  He didn’t want to pay over a certain number for a house and it went for over that number.  But he had these great peppers in his back yard.  And I saved the seeds.  I planted them in peat pots yesterday.  Along with some tomatoes, some habaneros and some jalapenos.  I know The Brother says to just buy plants but I had seeds.

Speaking of seeds, please go watch Food, Inc. before my head blows off and I can’t stand it any more.  It really is scary when you start thinking about it.

3 Comments

  • dolphyngyrl

    I dream about communal bathrooms. Well, not a lot, I guess, but it’s a recurring theme. And weird houses. Which, you know, if your house has a bathrom with several tubs, showers and toilets in it, it’s already pretty weird, right?

    As for Food, Inc, I keep hearing about it, but, you kow, I think I’ve watched enough PETA videos, thanks. And, also, read (most of) In Defense of Food. So I think I’m good.

  • Wine Dog

    It has little to do with either. It has a lot more to do with how a few corporations control everything we eat in this country. And how it makes us fat and unhealthy.

  • dolphyngyrl

    My guess would be that it’s similar to In Defense of Food, although that goes deeper than just corporations. Maybe I’ll send you my copy if I ever finish reading it.

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