Dogs,  Home Improvements

But now it’s full of evil clowns

I’ve been ridiculously busy.  If I hadn’t woken up at 3am today and decided to get up, you wouldn’t be hearing from me now.  Sometimes something comes through that’s too good to resist.  I give you, last night’s Jon Stewart Show

I’ve decided to start composting here on the Farm.  Because I don’t have enough to do.  And because it’s the right thing to do considering I rarely even go out on the back 40.  How rare?  Apparently a tree snapped in half and fell on the neighbor’s shed.  He’s probably waiting for me to do something about it, but I didn’t even know it happened.  The good news is that I get to play with the chain saw on Sunday.  Because Sunday is blocked out for me.  And my chain saw.  Anyway, I’ve been researching the way to do it and what I can and can’t compost.  And I’m building a dog crap septic tank.  Or dog crap composter.  Or whatever it is.  There’s a lot of dog crap here.  Might as well put it to good use.  If it weren’t dark out I’d get a picture of the chard that’s doing really well and the lettuce that’s coming along nicely.  I’m not sure that the fava beans are going to do what they need to.  It’s been a constant fight with aphids and ants with them. 

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Actually, I’m composting because the jack ass garbage company picked up my cans.  We disagree on when the bill was paid and whether or not they should have picked them up…20 days after the bill was paid they picked them up for non-payment.  Blink.  Blink.  And then refused to bring them back without me paying a $60 trip charge.  That’s $60 that they will never see.  Ever.   I’ll just pre-cycle as much as I can and then compost the rest.  It’s not like the bums don’t like the bottles and cans.  OK, there aren’t any cans, just wine bottles.  And I’ve been putting half the wine bottles in the neighbor’s for years anyway.  That way I don’t look like the block alcoholic so who are we kidding here anyway?

I’m spending too much time figuring out how to take this place completely off the grid.  If they really start selling those Bloom Boxes for $3000, PG&E can kiss my ass.  I’ll buy two and convert the heat to electrical.  If I can start diverting water in the creek behind the house, I can get all Ted Kacynski on everyone.  And add a page to Pink Bunny Ears for my manifesto.  I always remember the Guru saying that the legal measure for the insanity plea was whether or not you had a manifesto.  Do you have a manifesto?  Great, you can now plead insanity.  It’s like a freebee.   I’m still making my own bread.  Sonofabun wants me to get chickens but they would have to stay outside and there’s too much risk for me getting up and finding out that something got into the chicken coop and killed all my chickens and I don’t think I could deal with that.  And I certainly couldn’t butcher one even if I had to.  So chickens are out, as much as I’d like to piss off my NIMBY neighbor with a rooster.  Now the wild turkeys here, that’s a different story.

One Comment

  • dolphyngyrl

    I totally wanted to get a rooster to piss off my neighbor, too. But then the other neighbors did and that’s even better! I really want to get chickens, especially now that I don’t have a dog that would try to eat them. Strangely, I don’t think I’d have a problem snapping a chicken neck if I needed to. Although I’m still not sure I’d eat it.

    The pro tip I’ve been given about having chickens is just don’t get roosters. It’s not worth it and you don’t need them. Plus you’d probably only need two or three hens, anyway. You should totally get the ones that lay the blue eggs. That would be so awesome! 🙂

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