Bon Mots and Cheap Shots,  Corporate Wankers

But the place I go is the Kaiser Bowl

For years I’ve wanted to go to the Mavericks Surf Contest.  For years I’ve had a real job.  I don’t remember when they rode last year, but this year I was looking forward to it and figured since I’m a Realtor, I should be able to sneak off and watch it.  Well, not so much, although it was totally worth missing it yesterday.  There’s a new listing agreement sitting in my briefcase waiting to be uploaded on Tuesday.  While I missed Mavericks this year I was able to watch some of it on Ustream.  That was very cool.  No commercials, streaming to my computer.  Naturally there was a social media function too.  Best line of the day “If this is Mavericks, where is John McCain and Sarah Palin?”

Mother Nature did some ass kicking yesterday so it was best that I wasn’t there.  I don’t think going for a swim yesterday would have been too cool.  And she beat the shit out of the people she stole off the shore.  It was the wildest swells they’ve had in ten years.  Luckily no one got killed.  And congrats to Chris Bertish.

cbertish photo by Carlos Avila Gonzalez

I’ve been hating on “the banks” a lot more than usual.  One of the things that really bothers me is that they hire these people who act like they’ve never misstepped in their life.  Smug little twits named Tiffany and Amber and Josh and Gavin.  And they bulldoze ahead without consideration for the fact that they are dealing with human beings.  It’s frustrating to me because the banks created the environment we’re in, the Bush Administration used our tax dollars to bail them out and they still treat us like crap.  Not that I expected any different, but somehow I still expect people to do the right thing.  I blame Reagan for all of this.  And Bush I for lowering the bar with Dan Quayle so that his idiot son would appear competant to the American people.  Really.  This country elected that jackass twice because they thought he’d be cool to sit down and have a beer with?  He’s an alcoholic you morons.

Old Title Guy likes to poke the tiger in the cage.  This morning this little gem was in my mailbox.  I would like to expand on what I suggested to OTG.  I think that the court judgement should be that the same idiots (who are probably vendors for FAS, a Fidelity company) that trashed out this property should be hired to go to Brian Moynihan’s house and the homes of every single person in the food chain who didn’t listen that they had the wrong house and trash out their house, change the looks and then shrug their shoulders.  Because that’s what BofA did to this family.


FAS contracts with a bunch of morons.  And drug addicts.  And hookers.  Yeah, I just said that.  Because tomorrow is my day off but I have to go baby sit some tweekers who have to get their crap out of a house in Alameda County.  They were probably squatting in the first place.  Tweekers are very resourceful and whenever I see the stuff they come up with I always think “Jeez, why didn’t you use this ingenuity to clean up and get a real job?”  These guys probably saw that the house was foreclosed and vacant and took it over.  They stole electricity from the unit next door and had a maze of extension cords and surge protectors in the place.  The woman pridefully told me she used to work for a construction company that was hired by FAS to trash out houses.  By the looks of the place, they took the stuff they were supposed to trash out to this place in hopes of selling it for drugs.  She also told my contractor which corner she worked if he wanted to come by later.  Seriously.  These are the people FAS hires and the people we evict with the Sheriff.  And the banks hire FAS.

The problem is the executives and middle management wankers.  They are so concerned about their bonuses that they do anything to show profitability in their unit.  Because we are a country of ass kissers.  Brown nosers.  Sheep suckling on the corporate teat.  They have all forgotten that their customers are real people.  I’m dealing with a situation right now where the owner is a real estate broker.  He has lost his home of 30 years and the bank is giving him 30 days.  It’s not a situation where the foreclosure happened over a year ago and he’s just been there.  It just foreclosed.  He thought he was working out the loan.  And they gave him 30 days.  I know the law is strict on owners, but the law is strict on contracts too.  Write a freaking contract and give the guy 60 days.  30 goddamn years he lived there.  And if you knew why he pulled money out of the house, it would break your heart.  He’s a good man and he deserves better.  Last week I gave a woman a check and she gave me the keys to her home of 7 years.  She was a real estate agent, but the problem was that her husband had lost his job twice.  Both times large companies went under.  (Strangely not title companies)  It’s a high end home and as I walked through checking all the cupboards I started to comment on how beautiful the kitchen was.  She said “Don’t say anything nice about my house or I’ll cry.”

Yep, the high end houses are coming.  And it sucks.


  • OldTitleGuy

    The headline of that article illustrates wonderfully how people misunderstand the technical aspects of real estate.

    BofA DIDN’T foreclose on that house. BofA foreclosed on some other property on which they had a lien. Most probably there is a typo in the address somewhere, and the dingdongs running the REO program didn’t quite get it right. You would think that after the first conversation with the tenants, somebody would have taken the time to re-check addresses.

    What BofA DID do is burglarize someone’s property. No different than you or I breaking into a neighbors house to get their 70 inch plasma. The problem, of course, is that the perpetrator is nebulous. When Johnny Tweaker breaks into your joint and takes your stuff, there is an indentifiable perp and the PoPo can stuff him in a cell. Who do you arrest at BofA?

  • Skip-itty-doodah

    Here is a bit of first hand information. The bank (lets call them Dwells Bargo) says hey you qualify under the Obama program we’ll get you started…we’ll send you documentation and you make payment “X” for 3 months and we’ll be in the process of perfecting it over that 90 day period as long as you make the payments. Well no documentation ever arrives???? The owner makes the 3 payments of “X” and each month follows up with the call asking where is the documents confirming our “deal”…different answer each time. So after the 3 payments of “X” they say well…we’re not sure? WHAT?
    I believe this is either bait and switch or negociating out of bad faith…either way I see a law suit (i’ve heard on the news of two winners so far) or a riot….or worse…Ya tap into my childrens accounts and think there is no ramification?….we’ll see Dwells Bargo…we’ll see….

  • Skip-itty-doodah

    perhaps a grass roots smear campaign of the CEO’s of the big banks?…if they can’t be held accountable personally…lets expose them and hope some nut job looking to make a name for himself catches a clue….

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