Bon Mots and Cheap Shots

Never trust a man with egg on his face

The LPGA is in town.  I will get over there to watch them this time.  I’ve missed the Nabisco for about three years running.  I’m really sorry I didn’t get over there yesterday to witness this.   A freshman at Livermore High.  Congratulations!  You just checked one off my bucket list at 13.  I’d better get cracking.

I love when I don’t have to do anything and the universe just takes care of stuff.  We all know the fence story.  I’ve chosen to do nothing and letting go of it has been quite freeing.  Once I did that the universe came to visit the mal-spirited in the form of another neighbor’s self expression.


In the foreground you can see the nicely manicured lawn that lies to the north of the offending fence.  In the background you can see the home across the street from the house with the nicely manicured lawn.  I can’t even imagine what kind of fence it’s going to take to hide that.  Tee hee.  It’s a situation where the ex-wife used to live there with the kids and couldn’t afford the home any more so the ex-husband moved in with the kids.  Since the kids did a lot of the painting, I’m going to guess it’s an overcompensating sort of thing where he’s letting the kids do whatever to offset the fact that the Mom isn’t with them any more.  Let’s just say the Wine Dog is amused.

Mercury is in retrograde and no one told me.  This is sauteed in wrong sauce.  Apparently this crap continues until the 29th.  It has manifested itself on the Windows side of my Mac.  Imagine my surprise!  I can’t run iTunes and Word at the same time.  I mean I can, I just can’t do any work in Word if iTunes is open.  So when my broker called and wanted me to do something that should have taken 5 minutes and it took 90 minutes and three restarts, I should have known.  He called to say WTF and I was so pissed he gave up and said “Just send it when you get it”.  Knowledge is power and now that I know why this has been happening, I’ll settle down until the 29th.  However, I will not make an appointment at the genius bar nor will I update the software or design on either of my blogs until it’s over with.

Back to just desserts.  I have my listing into escrow.  Wednesday the buyer did their inspections.  The inspector was to show up at 1:15 and be there for about an hour.  It’s a simple 1 story home with a crawl space.  People live there.  It’s a regular sale of a regular house in a regular neighborhood.  I asked my seller to lock up the dog and leave by 1:15.  She did.  She called at 2:30 and wanted to know if it would be ok to drop off the groceries.  I said, “they said an hour but usually it takes closer to 2 hours, so why don’t you pick up your kids from school and then go home, that should be fine.”  Little did I know, they were still there.  An hour later I get another call.  They’re still there.  Six hours later they’re still there and my seller who has been locked up in the master with her two children is out of her mind.  And I’ve got nothing.  I think she should be out of her mind.  (Although in the back of my mind I’m thinking I should have offered to take the kids to an afternoon show but that horse has left the barn, it’s 7:15)  They left shortly thereafter, I settled my seller down and the buyer’s side called for some renegotiates.  Trust me, they didn’t get anything more than what they were going to get before they started after the six hour debacle.  Yesterday morning rolls around and I decide that a good agent would make a call to the inspector to find out why it lasted six hours.  Every real estate agent who comes here will know that a six hour inspection on a little one story rancher with a crawl space is obscene.  It should have been two and out.  Tops.  I had a guy do a 4000 square foot two story home with a pool AND the termite at the same time and it only took two and a half hours.  I call the guy and say “Hey, I’m the listing agent and I need to understand how the inspection took over six hours yesterday”  He says “Who are you?” The listing agent.  Then this dude just launches into this rant about how he’s the owner of the company and he’s going to do business as he sees fit and if I don’t like it I can, well, essentially piss up a rope but not that nice.  Then he pauses.  And I say “Dude, anger management”.  If he hadn’t gone berserk before, he does now, screaming at me and ultimately hanging up the phone.  I wait a minute or two and call back.  It goes to voicemail and I very calmly tell him that I will be calling the selling agent and his broker and letting them know about the complete lack of professionalism on his part and have a nice day.  And then I do exactly that.  Now my phone is blowing up with this guy calling me back.  But I’m getting ready to show property and I don’t need his bad mojo getting between me and my client and whatever house I show him.  So I let it roll to voicemail.  Seven times.  Finally on the seventh call he leaves this stilted message about how I was stern with him (actually not) and because I was stern we got off on the wrong foot.  Dude.  Do you blame your wife for when you beat her?


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