A constant wave of tension on top of broken trust

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned the front yard here recently.  It got out of control this year.  Basically, I’ve found that if you work for yourself, at least in my case, you work harder and longer hours.  Generally on Monday and Tuesday, I work 14 hour days.  On Wednesday I can get it down to about 12 hours, Thursday about 10 and Friday around 7-8, then there’s usually four hours each day of the weekend.  Sometimes I’ll skip one day completely, but it’s rare.  And occasionally I’ll just run away and drink wine or watch falcons or both.  I rehired my housekeeper about 4 months ago so that part of life around here has moved along as it should.  There is and has been no landscaping here.  And the house needs to be painted.  The exterior has needed painted since I bought the thing in June of 2007.  It’s bare wood that should be either sealed or painted.  I’m sure the old woman that I bought this place from never did either.  So not only does the front look like ass, there are weeds about waist high in the front.  After a long day of throwing people out of their homes, I would come home to my place that looked a lot like a few other agent’s listings.  (not ours, I make sure the lawns are watered and taken care of)  As a matter of fact, my neighbor has been installing a half fence between the front yards.  This really chaps my hide.  But she’s one of those pious NIMBY church ladies that I really don’t have much respect for.  Last election I watched the pastor stop by and drop off “Yes on 8” yard signs.  OK, right now I have no respect at all for her.

In June when I initially decided to I could redo the front yard I called the Contra Costa Water District and said “Hey, I’ve never had landscaping here and I live alone.  Can I get a special dispensation (from the rationing) in order to get this place up to par?”  No.  Really?  Because my neighbor has a beautiful expanse of green lawn and washes all three of his vehicles every weekend and I’d just like to get my place up to the minimum standards of the neighborhood.  Nope.  How come he gets to wash three cars and water his lawn every day and I can’t do anything?  Now keep in mind, this is the same Contra Costa Water District who supplies water to Brentwood Water and Antioch Water, but those guys have ORDINANCES REQUIRING people to keep the lawns green.  WTF.  So I get pissy and let it go all summer.  And then the neighbor started putting in that half fence.  And that really pissed me off.  So I waited another two weeks and then realized there was only one way to properly send her to the moon.  Hire a truck load of day workers.  Because I know she TRIES not to sound racist, but I know she is.  So Sunday morning I went down and got me a truckload of dayworkers.  They hollered at each other in a language I don’t understand, played really loud Mexican music and generally were pretty obnoxious.  And the front yard is stripped.  Two loads have gone to the dump but the dump here is charging me nearly $50 per load.  I ran out of budget last weekend, so I’ll take the rest down this weekend.  Last night she came over and knocked on the door.  It was already dark.  Her husband has been out of town for nearly two weeks now.  Because he’s gone their green can is empty and did I want to load some of the stuff into their green can.  Not tonight, it’s dark and I’m still working.

4 Replies to “A constant wave of tension on top of broken trust”

  1. What you need to do is get yourself a couple of engine blocks, spray paint them vibrant colors, and then use them as planters. Display them prominently in your front yard. Alternatively, if you can get your hands on some old wagon wheels, place them upright in your hard, partially buried (so they stay upright).

    I’ve mentioned my neighborhood is The Classy, right?

  2. No pink plastic flamingos? I always thought they added a touch of class to any front yard presentation. Garden gnomes are vastly overrated.

    If you do decide to go politically correct and landscape in desert flora, a few tasteful animal skeleton parts would add a few interest points. A human skeleton would be better (you know, crawling towards a dried up water feature), but probably hard to come by, and may raise some governmental objections.

  3. Hoo Boy. You fancydancy NorCal Librals.. You gotta have it up on blocks with the doors off. It’s the Merrican Way.

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