Miss me? Just got back from the Wine Bloggers Conference, 2009. Tomorrow there will be a full report of wine drinking and food and cheese and all things good and Sonoma and Napa. Today, I’m pissed off, and I know y’all love me when there’s a burr up my butt. This is why we must support AB 957.
LSI. You pathetic bunch of losers. You are not qualified to be in the title business. LSI is what is wrong with the industry. Don’t know who they are? They’re another moronic division of the Evil Empire. Their website says they’re “Reliable, Innovative, Comprehensive, Accurate and Now”. Whatever the hell now means. I know it doesn’t mean they will apply any sort of urgency to your situation. It doesn’t mean you’ll get any kind of service now or any other day unless you are a lender with whom they have a contract. If you represent the buyer, the consumer of the ultimate product, you can go piss up a rope. One hour ago (that’s right at 4:20 on a Sunday afternoon) I received confirmation for my closing from Friday. It was an insured transaction. It was a cash transaction. A trained monkey could find his way to recorders office and record that deed faster than those inept clowns did. My transaction actually recorded at 2:40 on Friday. When my local escrow person called down at 4:55 for confirmation the title person told her “Oh well, I guess they don’t get to move”. You know what you little shit stain? I ought to snap your neck. Do not mess with an old Title Officer. Especially one with a well read blog. I moved my people in on Saturday. I handed them the keys to the house and at 5pm on Friday and I told them to move in. If I were anywhere near that title plant I would walk in there and tear the Plant Managers head off and crap in the hole. How dare you treat the consumer like that? I hope they shut your stinking ass down because you don’t deserve to do business in this country. You and your ignorant staff should be shoved in a box car and sent to some godforsaken third world country and forced to work next to a donkey. The donkey would be the shift supervisor because you guys are too stupid to run anything on your own. That’s right, you’re that pathetic.
Let’s back up. My client is a nice family who paid down the loan on their original home so much that there was little owed on it. They wanted to move to a better neighborhood and entrusted me to find them their next home. One day I sent them a listing to look at like I had several times before. I had barely pushed the “SEND” button when my phone was ringing. It was the husband. Write it up, we want it, we’re buying it. Uh, I think we need to look at it. I don’t care what it looks like, we’re buying it. Please? So they went and looked at it with me. Then I heard the story. When they were first starting out and the wife was pregnant with their first son, she used to walk by the new subdivision. This home was a model. She would wander through this model and dream about someday owning a house like this one. Well, naturally when it came up they were ecstatic. When we walked through it we found it in beautiful shape. We wrote a full price cash offer that was accepted. We then proceeded to put together a 5 day escrow. I was thrilled to hear that the escrow was local. I had hoped that the Concord Title Group would be doing the title work. I would not be that lucky. It was opened at LSI’s REO center in Irvine. As usual with Southern California prelims written for Northern California, they were wrong. I immediately got two exceptions removed but they insisted that we go subject to any stripped assessments. No, wasn’t going to happen. Do your job. Call the City. There either is or isn’t stripped assessments. If there are, pay them and take it out. If not take it out. Two days and an underwriter later I got it removed. The water rights exception I didn’t have as good of luck. They were going to throw down the gauntlet on that one. It does not belong in a dry parcel in a numbered, recent subdivision within the City limits. Doesn’t. No. Don’t freaking put it there you morons. But it wasn’t a hill we were going to die on last week so I talked to my buyer and it remained. His response was essentially, I’m an NRA member, go ahead and try and come on my property. Okie dokey. We let that one lie.
On Friday, all LSI had to do is record one grant deed. One. No money, no releases, nothing. One deed. They managed to do that but they couldn’t manage to tell the consumer that it had been accomplished. That in itself was bad enough, but compounded by the lackadaisical attitude of the title officer in Irvine is reprehensible. These are people who do not deserve to have a job in this economy. I suspect if we went to their house we would find they don’t deserve to live indoors either. LSI, you are an embarrassment to the title insurance business. Get your act together. Last week when I went to the WFB presentation to local real estate professionals, the speaker said “When you bail these homeowners out of this situation, they will remember you for life. The REO banks won’t remember you tomorrow. Choose your clients wisely”. Fidelity National Title Company, you need to choose your clients wisely. We aren’t going to forget this bullshit.