Bon Mots and Cheap Shots

I’m not going to spend ten weeks and have everyone think I’m on the mend

I am so glad to be home.  Yeah, I saw the church and the second largest lighthouse in the world and the old market.  I actually probably saw a lot that other people don’t see because I walked.  I walked an average of two hours each day.  I grew and blew a blister on my foot during the Wednesday walk.  I probably covered five miles each day.  And I got asked about 35 million times to breakfast to hear a presentation about timeshares and I got stopped 52 million times on the street and asked the same damned thing.  Truth is, every freaking person that talked to me that wasn’t a tourist was looking to pitch me some timeshare presentation.  I don’t want a goddamned timeshare.  I’ll be thrilled to make the March payment on the Farm.  And not one of those guys qualified me.  No, actually one did.  She said “Lady do you own a big house?”  No, I don’t.  And she left me alone.  I wanted to know where the locals went and no one told me.  They just pitched me freaking timeshares.  Yeah, I’m a little pissed about that.  I wasn’t particularly hip on the timeshare I was staying in.  I blew it by dragging my feet.  My client gave me his for a week for doing a good job for him.  He was going to send me to the El Cid Marina.  I didn’t want to leave my business for a week so I dragged my feet and ended up at the Lunatic Luna Palace.  Nice beach, nice pool and that’s about it.  Check out the vanity in the room.

1-30-vanity-mexico That’s a match stick up there and I don’t know what the dark thing on the left is and there’s a bunch of water in there that drips down in the middle of the night…and when someone upstairs runs water or flushes a toilet.  Thankfully there were two bathrooms and two vanities.  The other one only had some weird little flying bugs in it.  I used that one.

The Pacific was the Pacific.  I love that ocean and I love it’s power and can sit and watch it for hours, which is what I did because watching the ocean from the pool deck of the Lunatic Luna Palace was one of three places where I wasn’t pitched for timeshares.  They did bring you Pacificos there at around 25 pesos each, so that was a good thing.  The hotel was across the street from the Purple Onion.  The second place where I wasn’t pitched.  Or at least not at the bar.  So I ate there three times just for the peace and quiet.  OK, the Purple Onion wasn’t peaceful or quiet but they didn’t give me food poisoning and they didn’t pitch me timeshares so that was a good thing.  Rico’s coffee was the third place I didn’t get pitched.  They were also the only place that made coffee that didn’t taste like ass.  And they had coconut creme muffins and those were Godlike.  Every other restaurant pitched me time shares.

Some of the translations were pretty funny.  I can’t speak Spanish.  I know some and I took two years in high school and I live in California fergodsakes, but my brain never wanted to retain any Spanish.  I finally had to ask someone on Tuesday how to say “please” the phrase had completely left my head.  I could say “Bitte” but that wasn’t going to fly in Mazatlan.  Strangely, I could read it but not form a sentence.  Even after four days.  So while we complain about our stuff being written in English and Spanish, we ought to just shut the hell up because it was helpful in getting my brain to at least comprehendo what the hell was going on, although the translations were pretty funny.  I ended up going to the Spanish version to figure out what they were trying to say.  I even figured out that Barry Bonds is going to court in March over his perjury charges from the running ticker on ESPN Espanol.   Apparently he took “la clara” and “la crema” and they were …I so can’t spell the word in Spanish for “steroids”.

Anywho, it’s good to be back home.  Not my choice for a return trip but I’m glad I went.  Read a couple of books and did some much needed forward planning for my business.  Re-read Body for Life which I would highly recommend for anyone doing the program.  Bill Phillips had one of those moments when he wrote that book.  In an hour I can go pick up the Hellhoundz and I can’t wait.  Here’s a little something I took before I left.  That’s my oak tree.


And since I’ve been away, I think it’s only fair to screw up your browsers with a youtube.

[youtube Ed49S2nyBD0]

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