Praise the Lord I have a plan

Old Title Guy wanted me to pick on the Catholic church.  It’s as if the Bishops read PBE.

The Bishop of New Jersey, hereinafter referred to as Bishop Snookie, has said that if you support gay marriage you should not take communion.  Seriously dude?  Let’s break this one down.

Catholics don’t believe in birth control so they multiply in larger numbers than say, protestants, or snake charmers.  So there’s more of them, good for the Bishops, that means more people to have control over, equals more power.  Now, the ratio for gay kids to straight kids is one in ten.  Therefore out of every family of three, who each has three kids, probability is that every family like that has one gay kid.  And now Bishop Snookie has told them to ostracize that one kid or not take communion.  I don’t think that’s going to make God happy.

Of course that reminds me of my Irish client who told me every 9th kid born in America is black.  Since he was the nineth, he’s black.  But that’s a Pandora’s box of a different color.

I don’t know how or when we got the church so wrapped up into the running of the State, but it needs to stop.  Want to talk about the break down?  Bush’s faith based charities.  That should have never happened.

What would this country look like if the Catholics and the Mormons who can’t seem to stay out of politics had to pay taxes?  They aren’t using the money to minister to the poor and downtrodden.  They are using it with PAC’s for political capital.  Enough.  Enough.

Next week, the Westboro Baptist assholes.


Y’all remember to wipe your feet

Let’s see, where to start?

Back to the Mormon agenda for a minute.  When was the last time a faggot knocked on your door and tried to recruit you?  Yeah, never.

Hypocrites unite.  Maryland delegate Donald H. Dwyer, Jr. the guy who thinks gays are a threat to children crashes his boat into…yep a boatload of children.  Injuring 4.  Blood alcohol level?  .20.  Legally drunk at .08.  Let’s do the math.  .20 divided by .08, 2, carry the 4, 2.5 times the legal limit.  Well played asshat.

The 47%.  For once, Mittens is right.   47% of this country don’t pay taxes.  That is because they are under the poverty line, dipshit. Lessee.  Do I know anyone who doesn’t pay taxes?  Oh yeah.  MY MOM.  Yep, Mittens, that little old 84 year old lady doesn’t pay any taxes.  She can’t even take advantage of her mortgage interest deduction.  And yeah, she sucks the life out of those government programs, like Social Security that she paid into for let’s see, freaking forever, and that Medicare shit you want to make a voucher system.  Yeah, the one that actually benefits the people who can take advantage of it.  I’m voting for my Mom whether she gets it or not.

Mittens.  You are so freaking far out of touch with the average American it’s obscene.  Let’s see.  Who else doesn’t make enough money to pay taxes?  Enlisted grunts.  Disabled veterans.  Those leaches on society.  Sorry Mittens, you’re the leach on our society.

He paid taxes at a rate of 13.5% to 14% depending if you ask Faux News or or  Needless to say CNN and NPR agree only Faux news changed the numbers to 20%, which is…a lie.  But facts don’t matter, we’ver heard Mittens say his campaign is not going to be influenced by the facts.   My tax rate is 20%.  Now who is the leach on society?  He should be paying at least what I pay.  Period.

To quote the Brother “You are entitled to your own opinion.  You are not entitled to your own facts.”

From Neil Newhouse of the Romney campaign “Fact-checkers come to this with their own sets of thoughts and beliefs and you know what? We’re not going let our campaign be dictated by fact-checkers.”  Huh?  Facts are facts dipshit.  It is, or it isn’t.

That’s not to say the DNC hasn’t blurred the truth a bit themselves.  That’s why my new favorite website is  Go see who’s pants are on fire.  Seriously.  There’s a trend.

Let’s revisit the Mormons, because I like picking on them.  Because they’re a bunch of liars with an agenda.  They are going to tear off their lizard masks and it’s going to be too late.  Y’all are worried about the Muslims and for the most part they are a peaceful bunch.  Kind of like the Christians.  If you don’t take the assholes into consideration. . . but both religions are rife with assholes so what do you do?

Remember the house across the street with the Yes on 8 sign?  The sanctity of marriage fergodsakes.  Well, she left him two years ago, about six months after the Prop 8 neighborhood debacle.  Yep, Miss Sanctity of Marriage left her husband.  Now I’ve always had a congenial relationship with her now ex-husband.  He’s a nice guy.  He’ll help me dig something up, push the Mustang back in the garage, helped me unload a .357 once, genuinely good guy.  Here’s the kicker.  The kids stayed with him, they did not leave with her.  About two months ago the divorce was final and she got the house.  He packed his shit and moved up the street and all of these Mormon guys started swarming around the house remodeling the whole thing.  New everything.  Then Princess Rhoda Olive Emity Eliza Mary Zina Louisa Emma, moved back in.  Sans children.  They stayed with the father.  The nice guy.  Dear Princess, I have much contempt for you and your LDS asshole friends.  And  your asshole Presidential candidate.

And God bless Billie Joe.  In a minute. That’s how a rockstar properly loses his shit.

I’ve been very hungry but not enough to kill

Yesterday was a weird day.  As I drove to the real estate marketing meeting, I heard tons of sirens above me on the 680.  Friends of mine said that they were shocked at how many cars that appeared normal in traffic, whipped out a light and magically became police cars.  It was an 11-99 call.  Officer down.  Some shit stain shot a CHP in rush hour traffic.  Luckily there was a second officer available to unload his weapon into said shit stain and eradicate him from this life.

Bay area commuters being the thoughtful oafs that they are, complained about traffic.  You people are assholes.  While I am consistently conflicted about the police, and guns for that matter, a man is clinging to life at John Muir this morning.  I am not conflicted over that.  He has a wife and four children and he was just doing his job.  If you don’t like the way a cop does his job, go to court.  That’s what I do.  You don’t shoot them, they are just doing their jobs.  And bitching about traffic in that situation is the epitome of selfishness.   Traffic was terrible yesterday, downtown Walnut Creek was gridlocked all day, so I went into my office and went to work, and stayed inside yesterday.  One client wanted to see a house, I put her off until today.

I heard a ridiculous amount of bitching about the 11 hours it took to reopen the highway.  By about 2pm the shit stain was dead and it was now an officer down and a shit stain greased on that stretch of highway.  “Hurry up” is not an appropriate response to that investigation.  “Get it right”, which is what the numerous agencies involved were attempting to do.  I hope they do.  And if the shit stain’s family attempts to sue the CHP, it is my hope that the investigation is so air tight that their legal existence is eradicated from the planet as well.  I want a proper collections of the facts that will stand in a court of law.  I don’t want some attorney confusing Mark Furman when we all know that was O.J.’s glove.  If, as a taxpayer, I’m going to pay for an investigation, I want all of the facts collected as facts, not a case built on theory in the field.  Collect the facts, build the case.

This morning the officer is in critical condition and on life support.  I would hope for his family’s sake that he rallies and recovers.  The human body is an amazing thing, we read stories about it’s resilience every day.  I’m just not sure what to do about the greased shit stain that shot him.  That turd hasn’t been identified yet.  I don’t know what we have to do as a society to rid ourselves of the mentality that causes this sort of thing in the first place.  He was pulled over for tags and the officer was going to impound his car.  Annoying but not worth dying over.  I suppose if he was wanted on something and going to go back to the big house when the cop figured out who he was that would be one thing, but otherwise, it’s pretty stupid.

What makes people so ignorant that violence is their first choice?  What is wrong with us as a society?  Why do we keep saying how great we are when this is how we behave?

When in doubt, play the Clash.

Update 9/5/12 7:15a.m.: The CHP is saying this morning that the officer has no hope of survival, he is being kept alive for his family currently.