She’s dancing in the video next to 50 Cent

Random cuteness

I don’t even have a picture cute enough to be submitted to the Pioneer Women photography contest, but since I don’t have a lot of content today either, enjoy the ones that were submitted.  Some are definitely professional, but it’s an amazing grouping of stuff you’ve never seen before.  Good on you PW!

Whining

I already know on the second to the last day of the month that I will not have had a day off this month.  I think the last day off was the 23rd or 24th of January.  It was a wine event.  Expect to find me in the witness protection program one day this week.  A dog just gets tired.  I was caught flat footed back in November with not much in the pipeline and no inventory in the market.  Buyers got frustrated with me because I couldn’t magically make a house appear.  The banks quit releasing REO’s so the “lunch money” aspect of what we’d been doing for over a year evaporated and I found myself out standing in my field.  With a bunch of crickets.  So I reloaded pretty quickly, readjusted the focus of my business and got cracking.  I learned a valuable lesson about paying attention to trends in the market place.  I saw it happening but didn’t get that I had to react.  I won’t make that mistake again. 

I’ve had three realtors recently that I’ve had to exchange cash for keys on high end homes.  The one who had been in her house the shortest period of time was 8 years.  I’ve got to say, there is a marked difference between how realtors handle this and how mortgage brokers handle it.  Realtors leave the house intact.  They call in when the notice is delivered and work it out.  The only one who didn’t, sued the bank, and he moved out,left it clean then came around and filed suit.  When I spoke to him and he bandied the idea of filing suit around, I told him I couldn’t advise him, but that if that’s what he thought he should do, then he should talk to an attorney, not me.  I’m very curious as to how that one is going to play out.  We did not give him cash for his keys, but he still showed pride in how he handled the situation.  Realtors “show” me the house while I’m doing the walk through and they take pride in the face of adversity.  Mortgage brokers steal the appliances and disappear into the night.  I’m sure I’ll piss some people off with that, but I’ve taken over close to 200 homes in the last year.  That’s what’s been happening.  And I’ve got to say, the realtor homes are the ones that affect me the most.  I’ve lost sleep over two of them.  Not so much that I’m the one taking their keys, but just empathy for what they’re going through.  And then of course knowing that but for the grace of God go I. 

So when it doubt, drink.  Last night’s offering at Pleasant Hill Wine Merchants were a selection from Bourassa Vineyards in Napa.  Vic Bourassa was there.  Not really a people guy.  But he loves his wine and that showed through.  He brought with him five wines.  His Chardonney which was more than I think I’ve ever had in a glass of Chardonnay.  It was creamy and buttery and spicy and citrusy all at one.  The fruit is sourced from the Russian River.  To break it down a little better, the butter and cream were on the front palate, the mid palate had maybe cardamon and pears and it finished crisp and with a little bit of red grapefruit.  One of the best Chardonneys I’ve had in years.  Really enjoyed it.  Next up was his Zinfandel.  Not your typical Zinfandel.  It wasn’t big or jammy, but the fruit was right there.  Dark cherries, some light spice in the mid palate and a nice luxurious finish.  Next up was his Harmony3.  This is a Bordeaux blend.  It was beautiful.  Beautiful viscosity, dark fruit a little tobacco leathery sort of thing going on and a nice elegant finish.  I wanted to sit down to a big meal in a nice restaurant with this beauty.  Next up was his Cabernet Franc.  I love Cab Franc.  When I cataloged the cellar the other day I was surprised at how much of it I had.  I would love to have this one in the cellar.  This one should be held as it was a little bright, but it had the structure to age well.  Cherries, plums, raisin and vanilla on the palate.  I should have brought one of these home to age.  It’s got “it”.  Finally his Symphony3.  This is a Cabernet Sauvignon based blend.  This was the jammiest of all of them.  I was kind of surprised since that’s not what you expect from a Cab.  Raspberries, blackberries, deep dark fruit, chocolate, coffee all in a mouthful.  It has a long sweetish finish that was also surprising.  I wanted to blacken a filet with this one, or maybe that blackened prime rib they serve at the Kaiser Grill in Palm Springs.  Yeah, that would be awesome!

We’re not dumb and we’re not blind

I got another database mess over on my business site so today is short, sweet and from the mailbag.

Proposed 28th Amendment to the United States Constitution:

“Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to the Senators and/or Representatives; and, Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators and/or Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States”.

Because if they had to pay what I do for health insurance they would have passed that bitch yesterday.

And when it doubt, go with a dog picture.

You know I got these burning heels to use

It’s about time I talked about some wine.  One of the tasks on my list has been to move and catalog the Wine Dog Cellar.  I finally got that mostly done yesterday.  Discovery -not a lot of depth to my cellar, but a ton of Caberney Sauvignon.  And a bunch of stuff I should probably drink.  Like the 1994 Andeol Salavert Cotes du Rhone Villages Rochegude, whose time may have passed.  There are 165 bottles in the total Wine Dog Cellar, give or take a couple.  The ones in the cases next to the wine refrigerator have not be cataloged, but here’s what I got so far.  But we all know a bunch of shit in my refrigerator isn’t interesting so let’s review a few that I’ve opened recently.

Last week I had the Unti 2007 Petit Frere open.  It’s a Cote du Rhone stiled wine.  44% Syrah, 38% Grenache and 18% Mourvedre.  I loves me some Mourvedre.  It’s basically a Grenache with a pair.  (Find that in your wine notes buddy)  It was a lot darker and concentrated than a Grenache usually is, full bodied and multi layered.  I just saw their note:

Think of this wine as our version of a Cotes du Rhone that has been on an aggressive weight lifting program.

This is a lot more meaty than a Cotes du Rhone, that’s for sure.  Mine stood up nicely to of all things, blackened salmon.  Unti is one of my favorite producers.  I don’t belong to their club, just because at some point you really have to draw the line, but if I had room, I would.  Then I would quit drinking their juice the minute it comes through the door.

Last month at Pleasant Hill Wine Merchants (which continues to be my favorite local wine stop) one of the selections was the Quercus Rubra Reserve 2006.  They grow this stuff in the Suisun Valley.  No shit.  It’s 85% Cabernet Sauvignon with Merlot, Cab Franc and Petit Verdot for a Bordeaux blend, but it drinks like a California Zin.  I didn’t read the bottle until a minute ago and was surprised it had no Zinfandel in it.  Dark fruit, spice and mocha undertones make for a very interesting wine.  I see they think it will cellar for 7-10 years.  I grilled a steak with a nice spicey rub, it stood up nicely to the wine.  I’d say I’m on a spice kick, but every one knows I could bring the heat and throwdown with Bobby Flay on any given day.  Bring it on.

The girl with kaleidoscope eyes

Miss me?

I don’t know who the jackass was who decided that WordPress couldn’t run on MySQL 4.0 any more was.  Or who the jackass was at my host provider who thought that their halfassed instructions and barely English speaking tech line were a good business decision.  I can’t complain that tech is not in this country because my host provider is British.  Well, you know where that puts the tech department, in the former colony.

It took six calls to tech to get everything worked out.  On the fifth call the guy called me sir the entire time in spite of me saying “It’s Ma’am” every time he did it.  In spite of him having to say my name back to me when I first called.  Men don’t get that name.  Except in Russia.  And I don’t have a Russian accent asshole.  The sixth guy’s English was a little harder to understand but he heard me when I said “It’s Ma’am.”  Then he called me Miss Winedog the rest of the conversation.  I give him credit, he stuck with me for an hour and a half escalated the problem and ultimately solved it.  I could hear the right guy in the background answering the questions properly.  Did you know that there are over 130 languages in India?  That’s not counting English and French and that sort of thing.  It’s a really big place.  I think sometimes we think India is like Los Angeles or something.  (which might as well be another country)  Another thing I found in real estate is that a lot of accents are really hard to understand over the phone but in person there is no issue at all.  I have a friend who’s husband is from a Slavic country.  I never really noticed his accent in person, although he has one.  (And really it just adds to his charm)  Then I spoke to him on the phone and I couldn’t understand a damned thing he was saying.  And I know this guy.  So knowing that, tech support in a country where English is the second or third or fourth language doesn’t really make a lot of sense.

I have alot of clients where English is not their first language.  I’ve learned that as much as I like to play with language, I lose some of them if I do.  Literally.  They’ll go find an agent who doesn’t make them feel stupid, even though I’m not trying to do that.  The Brother is very good at language and understands the root of language.  He took Latin at Berkeley a few years ago just to help himself understand the root of language.  He understands three languages I know of and perepherally can figure out what’s going on in any of the romance languages.  He’s a nightmare during Spanish language depositions.  He was taught the Queen’s Spanish.  But there’s a lot of different kinds of Spanish.  Spain is way different than Mexico which is also different from Central America and so on.  He’ll stop an interpretor and say “He said XYZ but you translated that to ABC.  Ask him to clarify if he means ABC or XYZ.”  He’s flustered many a translator.

Me, I can barely speak English.  I had a terrible time in Germany.  I had to translate every sentence as I went and play the responses back in my head to figure out what they said to me.  If it went past “Jah” or “Nein” or “bitte” I was in trouble.  And I never got good at it.  I wish I could speak Spanish, it would help immensely in my business, but I can barely figure out what they’re saying.  So I have a certain respect for anyone who can speak more than one language.  My brain just isn’t wired that way and it’s frustrating.  I’d like to speak Spanish, French and Mandarin.  Maybe Cantonese too.  That would jack people up.  But it would be like trying to teach a pig to sing.  One of my favorite clients is Indian.  He speaks five languages fluently and flawlessly.  His father was a diplomat.  You should see the looks he gets when he starts speaking Spanish.  It’s hilarious.  We were looking at property one day down in the barrio and he wanted to know about the neighborhood.  There was a woman unloading groceries, he walked up to her and started in Spanish.  It was hiliarious to watch her face as she tried to put it all together.  He was raised in South America.  Or if some clown says something to him or about him in Spanish and he calls them on it.  Because he’s a scrappy mofo.  And John Chambers himself called this guy and asked him to come to work for them.  Seriously.  Cool dude.

Jackassery?  Coming right up!

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I’m off to feed the birds.

In your head, in your head they are fighting

I lay yesterday’s tragic event in Austin right at the door step of Glenn Beck.  Yep.  I blame him.  He tried to blame Communism and liberals and everything else yesterday, but he is the one advocating fighting our government and he is the one who refuses to take responsibility for his actions.  He bears responsibility.  He could have condemned it universally yesterday and he didn’t.  He has created an environment where something like this is ok.  Throughout the internet yesterday the teabaggers were calling the nutbag pilot brave and a hero.  No he wasn’t.  Just because you’re white and commit an act of terrorism doesn’t make you brave or a hero.  It’s makes you a terrorist and a criminal, a homegrown domestic terrorist.  Period.  Just because he wasn’t from a certain ethnic group doesn’t mean it wasn’t terrorism.  Timothy McVeigh, terrorist.  Ted Kaczinski, terrorist.  Yesterday’s nutbag, terrorist.

What concerns me is the underlying threat of violence that I’m seeing in this teabagger movement.  It doesn’t seem to me any different than some of the violence that came out in the early 70’s.  Except they have a leader on television and the left wingnuts from the early 70’s didn’t even have an internet.  Personally I have a hard time even watching Glenn Beck without wanting to slap the snot out of him.  Not for what he says as much as how he says it.  His delivery is like a petulant child, snide, smug and whiney.  I suppose it appeals to a certain class of underachievers who think nebulous boogymen like “The Government” or “The Left” are responsible for their problems rather than their own inaction or incompetency.  Or stupidity.  They are being led to slaughter just like many movements before.  They are being whipped up into a frenzy to become glassy-eyed zombies, committed to their leader’s whims and desires, unable to think for themselves.  If they would look inward and take responsibility they would find that their problems relate directly to their inability to rationalize for themselves.

zombies

Want to zig while everyone else zags?  Great.  I do that.  And I pay the price regularly.  And as frustrated as I get, I have to take responsibility for not going with the flow.  And I have to take my lumps for it. And I dust myself off and come back for more every time.  The day I don’t is the day that I’m done.

All this bullshit about taxes makes me nuts.  The truth of the matter is that these people have no idea what taxes really pay for.  Our Government is big, probably too big, not that kind of “big” but big in that it’s doing too much.  I think California is too big.  The interests of Northern California and Southern California are very different.  I think we need to be two States.  But I digress.  If not for the Government involved in the arts the Sistine Chapel would have never been painted by Michelangelo.  A lot of classic art would have never occurred.  So attacking the arts pisses me off.  And our children would have even crappier educations than they currently receive.  As crappy as some police forces are, without taxes they wouldn’t exist at all.  The same with the firefighters and EMT’s.  I don’t see anyone arguing to privatize them.  As crappy as the roads are because these asshats keep cutting taxes, there would be none if not for the government.  No standards for safety in automobiles. No FAA.  Planes would just fly around and hope they didn’t hit each other before they landed on a private airstrip because the Government wouldn’t have anything to do with airports any more.  I love how these no taxes guys want a big strong Army.  Dude.  These guys don’t work for free and their toys are really really expensive.  And the defense sector wouldn’t exist because the Government wouldn’t be buying those toys.  And we’d all be speaking the Queens English which might not be such a bad thing.  At least asshole bloggers wouldn’t start sentences with the word “and”.

So all this rhetoric about no taxes and less government and I have to ask, do these nutbags really understand what that means?  Or are they just glassy eyed zombies mesmerized by a charlatan?

[youtube OYecfV3ubP8]

GIVE ME THAT BABY YOU WARTHOG FROM HELL!

I think I put the full service into full service realtor yesterday.  I have a house that will be coming on the market in about three weeks.  The couple are going through a divorce and it’s not a pretty one.  I call it The War of the Roses.  I’ve been friends with the wife for 25 years.  They’ve been married for seven.  It’s ugly.  The sad part is they’re both nice people that should have never married each other.  And of course there’s a child.  The cutest little boy in the world.

Yesterday they had to go to court.  She’s been spinning in circles, but because I will represent them both in the sale of the house I have told them both that I am not a party to the War of the Roses and to never use me as a reference for anything against the other, I am Switzerland.  She called me and asked me to take their son to day care.  No big deal, sure I’ll take him.  He’s a cool little boy.  She says “I’ll leave the carseat”.  OK, I say.  Those of you of a certain age with new Grandchildren have all just chuckled to yourself in a knowing way, just like I will chuckle in the future when somebody says that to me.

I got there and sure enough the carseat was sitting on the porch waiting for me.  I picked it up and walked back to the fourth door of my sedan.  I guess I figured if I walked like I knew what I was doing the car seat would comply.  Not so much.  I had to have a four year old show me how to operate the goddamn thing.  I just prayed that I had it right enough that if something happened he would survive and I would not be on the 5 o’clock news for not properly restraining a 4 year old.  I just didn’t think “He said to do it this way” was going to be a good legal defense.

arizona1

Because it’s not good when Raising Arizona is one of your favorite movies.  I know what happens when you don’t properly strap a child into a car seat.  Or leave one on the roof.  You have to worry about stuff like this guy.

arizona10

So I knew better. And the theme music played in my head while he was telling me about his day at school.  He had a bad day.  One of his little friends didn’t want to have a play date with him because he was jealous.  “What’s he jealous of?” I asked.  Everyone.  Everyone?  Yep.  Don’t worry little man, that’s a tough road for your friend to take, he’ll get over it.  And if that’s your biggest problem little man, life is good, trust me.

Speaking of driving charges around, I have a new charge here.  She goes to Red Bluff today.  I picked her up from her original family yesterday.  She’s a bit of a spaz.  She’s a 9 month old puppy.  I guess she might have air snapped at a child or maybe she was just too much for the mother who had two and a third on the way.  I can’t imagine her snapping at anyone.  She’s right in the sweet spot of what I’m looking for but her breeding isn’t right and I want the ears done on the confirmation dog.  She had all of her papers so I knew who bred her, but her structure ain’t all that. It ain’t even close.  So off to rescue she goes, she’ll get a home quick.  She’s super cute and super sweet.

Buzz

Right now she’d like to know what the hell is going on.  Rita took her to school but then decided that she could live.  Bubba on the other hand has been extremely protective of me.  I’m kind of surprised by this behavior.  She is not allowed to get closer to me than he is.  She may not touch me in his presence.  She may not breath oxygen in his presence and she sure as hell may not say anything in his presence.

bubbaschooling

Here she is trying to get to me last night.  His face says it all.  I thought that bringing a female here would be fine, but he’s not okay with her.  I think he’d get there if she were staying.  When I’m out of the picture, he ran in the yard with her.  He’s just not having any of this puppy right now.

Bubbapissed off

She’s behind him and I’m sure if he could speak he would say “You suck”.

But the place I go is the Kaiser Bowl

For years I’ve wanted to go to the Mavericks Surf Contest.  For years I’ve had a real job.  I don’t remember when they rode last year, but this year I was looking forward to it and figured since I’m a Realtor, I should be able to sneak off and watch it.  Well, not so much, although it was totally worth missing it yesterday.  There’s a new listing agreement sitting in my briefcase waiting to be uploaded on Tuesday.  While I missed Mavericks this year I was able to watch some of it on Ustream.  That was very cool.  No commercials, streaming to my computer.  Naturally there was a social media function too.  Best line of the day “If this is Mavericks, where is John McCain and Sarah Palin?”

Mother Nature did some ass kicking yesterday so it was best that I wasn’t there.  I don’t think going for a swim yesterday would have been too cool.  And she beat the shit out of the people she stole off the shore.  It was the wildest swells they’ve had in ten years.  Luckily no one got killed.  And congrats to Chris Bertish.

cbertish photo by Carlos Avila Gonzalez

I’ve been hating on “the banks” a lot more than usual.  One of the things that really bothers me is that they hire these people who act like they’ve never misstepped in their life.  Smug little twits named Tiffany and Amber and Josh and Gavin.  And they bulldoze ahead without consideration for the fact that they are dealing with human beings.  It’s frustrating to me because the banks created the environment we’re in, the Bush Administration used our tax dollars to bail them out and they still treat us like crap.  Not that I expected any different, but somehow I still expect people to do the right thing.  I blame Reagan for all of this.  And Bush I for lowering the bar with Dan Quayle so that his idiot son would appear competant to the American people.  Really.  This country elected that jackass twice because they thought he’d be cool to sit down and have a beer with?  He’s an alcoholic you morons.

Old Title Guy likes to poke the tiger in the cage.  This morning this little gem was in my mailbox.  I would like to expand on what I suggested to OTG.  I think that the court judgement should be that the same idiots (who are probably vendors for FAS, a Fidelity company) that trashed out this property should be hired to go to Brian Moynihan’s house and the homes of every single person in the food chain who didn’t listen that they had the wrong house and trash out their house, change the looks and then shrug their shoulders.  Because that’s what BofA did to this family.

Cardoso

FAS contracts with a bunch of morons.  And drug addicts.  And hookers.  Yeah, I just said that.  Because tomorrow is my day off but I have to go baby sit some tweekers who have to get their crap out of a house in Alameda County.  They were probably squatting in the first place.  Tweekers are very resourceful and whenever I see the stuff they come up with I always think “Jeez, why didn’t you use this ingenuity to clean up and get a real job?”  These guys probably saw that the house was foreclosed and vacant and took it over.  They stole electricity from the unit next door and had a maze of extension cords and surge protectors in the place.  The woman pridefully told me she used to work for a construction company that was hired by FAS to trash out houses.  By the looks of the place, they took the stuff they were supposed to trash out to this place in hopes of selling it for drugs.  She also told my contractor which corner she worked if he wanted to come by later.  Seriously.  These are the people FAS hires and the people we evict with the Sheriff.  And the banks hire FAS.

The problem is the executives and middle management wankers.  They are so concerned about their bonuses that they do anything to show profitability in their unit.  Because we are a country of ass kissers.  Brown nosers.  Sheep suckling on the corporate teat.  They have all forgotten that their customers are real people.  I’m dealing with a situation right now where the owner is a real estate broker.  He has lost his home of 30 years and the bank is giving him 30 days.  It’s not a situation where the foreclosure happened over a year ago and he’s just been there.  It just foreclosed.  He thought he was working out the loan.  And they gave him 30 days.  I know the law is strict on owners, but the law is strict on contracts too.  Write a freaking contract and give the guy 60 days.  30 goddamn years he lived there.  And if you knew why he pulled money out of the house, it would break your heart.  He’s a good man and he deserves better.  Last week I gave a woman a check and she gave me the keys to her home of 7 years.  She was a real estate agent, but the problem was that her husband had lost his job twice.  Both times large companies went under.  (Strangely not title companies)  It’s a high end home and as I walked through checking all the cupboards I started to comment on how beautiful the kitchen was.  She said “Don’t say anything nice about my house or I’ll cry.”

Yep, the high end houses are coming.  And it sucks.

Wash me clean, in amazing grace

I know I shouldn’t be complaining about the rain.  Driving has been banned in Baltimore due to the snow.  They’ve had 72 inches of snow this year.  The Federal Government has been closed for four days.  I don’t know that is a bad thing.  They really need to quit screwing around with politics and solve some problems.  Like health care.  The bill sucks but the Republican solution of doing nothing sucks more.  But that’s not today’s subject.  It’s the weather.

As a Californian, I’m ok that it’s another State getting their ass kicked by the weather for a change.  After two terrible fire seasons and this years torrential rains, sorry guys, we needed a break.  Hopefully everyone has enough heating oil and remembered to go buy bread.  And milk.  And Post Toasties.  And liquor. Malibu will be falling off the hill in another month or two so if y’all could take it for a couple of more weeks, we’ll be good out here.  Thanks.

muddypaws

Here at the Farm the word of the day has been MUD.  Lots off it.  Every night I put on my boots and go outside and hose off both dogs.  Rita being the drama queen that she is shivers and chatters her teeth.  Bubba stands there stoicly and trust me, the garden hose on his nether regions should make him shiver and his teeth should chatter, but they don’t.  That’s how I know Rita is playing to the crowd.  If they would sleep in their own beds or even their crates that would be one thing, but I wake up every morning with the two of them pressed up against me.  I don’t need the silt from their romp in the back yard in my bed too.  When it’s sloppy I have to wash their entire bellies and both legs.  Now it’s just hard mud and right now I only have to wash off their paws.  But because I’m solution oriented I want a better mousetrap.

Right now I’m thinking the solution is to add a “mud room” on behind the family room.  There are full doors on the family room which I would leave in place.  Then the room would have maybe a dog bath, maybe even a people bath and perhaps a little bit of home gym stuff that I wouldn’t want in the house.  I was surprised at house much information was out there about mud rooms.

dog shower

Now I would imagine the people who come and visit me would prefer I just remodeled the main bath and added the shower there, which I should do.  But that room gets used about 10 times a year and I wash dog paws every single night.  And I could add a dog door to the mud room but not to the main house.  And there wouldn’t be silt all over the family room all the time.  Because I’ve figured out that even if I landscape, Rita is going to run and be covered with mud.  Bubba is going to do his OCD fence running thing and he’s going to be covered in mud.

dogbath

Something like that.  I just need to figure out how to hook it into the house plumbing.  I really think I’m on to something here.  And then I’ll put a shower in the main bath.  I will.  Really.

Luck is the lady that he loves the best

If I could choose an event to occur and it would just happen, I would like to see a Meghan McCain/Sarah Palin Smackdown.  Want to know who’s really mavericky?  Meghan McCain, that’s who.  The old man threw some smart pups.  And Sarah Palin wouldn’t know satire if it came through on the side of a freight train every afternoon at 2:14. I can barely watch that woman without wanting to climb through the television and beat the holy shit out of her.  It’s not so much that I disagree with her idealogically, it’s that she’s stupid.  Straight up stupid.  Uneducated and ignorant.  Stupid.  Now for a woman I disagree with idealogically who isn’t stupid and really surprised me recently.

Cindy-McCain

Not satire.  I’m sure the wingnuts are glad the First Lady didn’t do that ad eh?  Because God forbid we treat everybody equally.  I’m thinking dinner at the McCain house is a lively event.  God knows I’ve picked on Cindy McCain.  She even got the V reference.  Who knew that when she tore off the mask there was a woman with a conscience, I was expecting a lizard.  Good on her for this ad.  It makes me wonder on one hand what would have happened if the GOP had just let McCain do things his way, but then I think we saw some of that in 2000.  Without Karl Rove, he probably would have won that year.  On the other hand, he did get caught on tape yet again disagreeing with himself.  He said if the military was ok with gays in the military he was, until the military leadership said they were and then he wasn’t.

And then there’s Meghan.  That kid is so smart I want her to run for an office.  These McCain women are going rogue.  For real.  With no note written on the palm of their hand.

[youtube -xHQxl0iO2E]

This young woman is the future of the Republican Party.  It would really be sad if no one was smart enough to recognize it.  On the other hand she’d make a great centralist Democrat.

Good morning America how are you?

The only thing that would have made that football game better would be if Indiannapolis kicked a field goal and the final was 31-20.  Then I would have won $400.  I was screaming for that field goal, they never took it.  Congratulations to the Saints and more importantly to the City of New Orleans, even the State of Louisiana.  I wish this had happened the same year that Katrina beat up your town, but it’s all good today.  Crazy ballsy calls from Sean Payton.  The reverse?  Don’t go outside on the Colts, fail.  Fourth and not much?  Yeah, that’s what you got.  But the onside kick and the two point conversion made the difference in the game and the fails didn’t matter at that point.  And fun to watch because everybody knows that Peyton Manning is one of the most dangerous quarterbacks in football.  I wonder what Archie had to say about the whole thing.  Maybe I’ll call him up.

Now, let’s talk for a minute about shameless self promotion at CBS and The Who.  A lot of people were asking why The Who was playing the halftime show.  There are two answers.  I think they were playing the halftime show so that they could make the blue plate special at Applebee’s.  Townshend is 64, Roger Daltry is 65.  Seriously.  When they were in their heyday would they have EVER listened to a bunch of guys in their 60’s?  Then why are they making up listen to them.  Remember John Lennon saying not to trust anyone over 30?  The real reason they played halftime was CBS’s CSI franchise.  Every single one of them has an old Who song as a theme song.  Old Who song.  Not a new Who song.  An old one.  Get it?  The dinosaur exhibit is down the hall and to the left.

The good news was that they DIDN’T get Taylor Swift.  My goodness can that poor child carry a tune or not?  She was horribly off key at the CMA’s and equally off key at the Grammy’s.  Even in her worst coke fueled hot mess days, Stevie Nicks could carry a tune.  I wouldn’t be surprised if the old girl didn’t cracked a molar during that duet.  Anyway, Taylor Swift is kind of irrelevant in my world except she’s on all the radio stations and I don’t really like that song.  So get Carrie Underwood to do the National Anthem.  Thank you.  What?  She ended off key?  I love Carrie Underwood.  I love the Louisville Slugger to both headlights song.  I love the I don’t even know my last name song.  That girl can belt them out.   And then she ends the National Anthem off key.  Honey.  Really?  How does this happen?  Aren’t you guys professionals?

scooter

And about those Super Bowl ads.  What did you guys pay for those?  A bunch of ad time didn’t sell obviously, judging from all the proprietary ads from CBS.  With very few exceptions I have to ask, you guys paid all that money and that’s what you did with it?  Really?  The Bud ads were terrible.  Two ads in a row with guys with no pants on?  How many ads had little people in them?  Three?  Originality zip.  And at least two ads with a scooter in them.  Bah.  The exception

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The Google ad was cute, but the spoof is much better

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The dog lover in us liked this one

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By far one of the weakest years for Super Bowl ads ever.  And Tim Tebow?  Your NFL career is going to be a Not For Long career.  You don’t have it buddy.  Betty White could take you.

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