I looked in my mirror; a red light was blinkin’, the cops was after my Hot Rod Lincoln!

RED DOG FAIL

Rita’s tag has hot rod flames on it. There was no other appropriate tag for that dog. She’s a hot little red head and she’s always on fire. Today I decided to run her at the DPC of Northern California and Redwood Empire’s Working Aptitude Evaluation. It’s an AKC test with numerous facets designed to tell if your working dog will actually work. There were plenty of designer label dogs there and my little hot rod Rita. We went off 22nd. As of that moment exactly two dogs has passed. They had various degrees of screw ups. I had no idea what Rita was going to do. We had to use their band collar, which I didn’t like. I never work my dogs on band collars. It’s the fastest way I know to lose a dog, let them slip a band collar. I like the prong collars. Dogs learn not to mess up quickly. Once they learn the collar, you rarely have to snap it. If you do, they come to Jesus pretty quickly. So the band collar was like Friday night at the frat house for Rita. Still, the first discipline is a neutral stranger. She could have cared less. Then a friendly stranger. She was on her game. Then you walk along a van and someone in front of the van is shaking a can full of pebbles. She sniffed it like she was supposed to. Then you walk past a guy who fired a gun once, then three more times. She jumped but didn’t care. OK, we’d been practicing that one. Then you walk over to a woman sitting with an umbrella, as the dog approaches she opens the umbrella. The dog can spook but must come back and sniff the umbrella. Rita nailed it. Then they walk them over garbage bags and a wire kennel laid out flat. That’s called unfamiliar surfaces. No worries for Rita. The final was stop at the rosette and a guy with a hat, a stick and covered in a tarp would come out and make a bunch of threatening noise. The evaluator said to act scared. I don’t know how to act scared so I decided to go with “Rita, let’s get him”. She took one look at the guy and I think in her head she thought “what an asshole” and went on to sniff duck poop. We failed but that was the only discipline we missed. She had it until she got to the guy in the trash bag duck poop. The evaluator told me we didn’t pass (they’re supposed to stand into the guy and watch them or warn, Rita did neither) but she added that the dog was really in tune to me and I had done a great job with her. She asked how long I’d had her and I said since January. She reiterated that I’d done a great job with her. I feel like we got a W today anyway.

Dressed down by Jack Cafferty

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That Katie Couric interview might be the turning point in the election. I predict she cites some bullshit and withdraws this week. The Party powers that be can’t be thrilled with this sort of stuff. On the other hand, the boys over on Drunk Cyclist compared Joe Biden to Fuzzy Zoller. They might have nailed it. Thursday can’t come quick enough.

While we wait, Dolphyngyrl sent me some Sarah Palin haiku. Feel free to add your own in the comments section.