Life is like a box of chocolates

And today PBE is a box of chocolates. I’ve just got a ton of bits and pieces and not a complete thought in the whole mess…a lot like a box of chocolates. First off, I know youtube doesn’t show up right here, but today I have something from Blutube. The take down by the dog is awesome. And don’t run when they bring in the chopper, they can see you in the dark.

NOLA revisited

This gal is one of the best real estate bloggers on the internet. She’s based in San Diego and really does an excellent job. I think her blog even has awards from people that matter. I just enjoy reading her. She’s been in New Orleans with her daughter. Anyone that’s been here for any period of time knows how much this matters to me. She spells it out beautifully. Another nice job by the Bush Administration.

Down on The Farm

The dogs are now all healthy. I don’t know what went on two weeks ago, but I’m glad it’s over. Beauregard is gaining some weight. I’ve been weighing him, he’s up three pounds the other day, I’ll weigh him later on today. Never pick up a Doberman first thing in the morning to weigh them. Even if they’re down to 70 pounds it’s not so sporty on the back. This week I spent two evenings chasing around the boxes (there were two) that were lost/misplaced/mishandled/misdelivered by the asshats at UPS. Thursday night I had to replace a faucet at my parents house and last night I actually went out to dinner with Sonofabun. So I haven’t been home much and the dogs have taken exception to this. At three o’clock in the morning. For the last three nights. Last night I got them to lay down again, but at 4:30 they were at it again, so I got up, let them out, fed them, left the back of the house open and went back to bed. I woke up at 7:00 a.m. to find them both curled back up and in bed with me. The little stinkers miss me. They’ll be over that after their baths today.

rita-the-mighty-huntress.JPG

I’m not sure what she heard under that piece of wood, my guess is a lizard, but she was on full alert.

Better than the Coconut Telegraph

New guy, escrowdude, got me the link to the Mercury/FATCO lawsuit. So here it is for your enjoyment.

mercury_v_first_american.pdf

I don’t know what Patty and her attorneys are smoking. The First American attorneys ought to be sniffing the blood in the water and it’s not going to be pretty. The only way she prevails on any level is if there is a corporate decision to not crush her. This is soooo last ditch, we all know the Mercury bankruptcy paperwork is all but filed. We also got a tip in the comments this week about the WARN act. That’s Federal. You know the rule, don’t mess with the Feds.

Speaking of dinner

We went to Moresi’s, a local chophouse last night. They do a really good job. They could do something about the acoustics in the place, but the food is good and the service was excellent. I know the lines get out the door in the summer, but we didn’t have a problem. We were seated in the very back, which was fine, but it was so noisy it was hard to hear without shouting at each other. Even the waiter couldn’t hear us order. The place is very quaint, we had mojito’s to open. I had a peach one and it was a beautiful cocktail. The appetizers were good but nothing special. The steaks were very good. I had a petite filet done “Black and Blue” (charred on the outside rare on the inside) with scalloped potatoes, creamed corn and a side of Lipitor. I brought a 1998 Corison Cabernet Sauvignon with me. It needs to breathe for a while. You just can’t keep that much love confined in the bottle for that many years and not give it a moment or two before inviting it to dinner.  Subtle ripe cherry and plums with some floral undertones. A little spice on the finish. Beautiful mouthfeel (one of my favorite wine words) full of elegance and a dark ruby color. This is what Wine Spectator said about this wine in 2001:

Medium-weight, with herb, dill, cedar and earthy cherry and plum flavors that are elegant and well-proportioned. Turns complex on the finish.
The Wine Spectator 10/31/01

It got better. Much better over those last seven years. It was perfect with a steak dinner.

Beating my head against the wall because it feels so good when I stop

I know I talk a lot about cyclists and downed bikers etc. But I got this link off of drunkcyclist the other day. It just brings home the importance of watching for cyclists, and riding safely. This AssKlown drove drunk, didn’t watch for Eric and Ace is living the aftermath. The judge should require that he to read Ace’s journal every day for the rest of his miserable live, much of which should be spent in prison.

Hang myself if I get enough rope

That was for Sonofabun.

I’m pretty light today and I need to get out of here early. The lean green machine no longer shows the five green balls, or four, or three or two or one. Not only does it show a yellow one, but also a red one. That means I will lop off a pound of flesh and pray to the Bavarian car gods that I have enough credit to get this thing serviced. At least they’ll wash it when they’re done.

So today, we have google key words.

  1. van williamson ed meades (van is ed meades winemaker, ed meades makes rockin’ zin)
  2. Doberman foam mouth (don’t google me, I’m an idiot take your dog to the vet he’s sick)
  3. crossfit wheelbarrow video (sorry, unless you have a mac you can’t view PBE videos)
  4. ups sucks ass (yes they do)
  5. wine dog leashes (how about Wine Dog Unleashed?)
  6. John Harritt (yawn)
  7. mercury lawsuit first american (let me know if you found this thing, I can’t find it)
  8. barbara chambers (shouldn’t have turned me in for asking for a professional courtesy…)
  9. mercury companies labor commisioner

If spending the last two nights chasing a phantom UPS package around wasn’t enough, last night I had to go over to the Parental Unit and change out a faucet. My dogs have had enough of this crap and have taken to waking me up at 3:30 a.m. because they haven’t gotten enough attention because I haven’t been here. Very charming. Today I willed their little butts back to sleep for another hour and the dog walker will come mid day and hopefully run their butts out, because I need some rest.

Needle and the damage done

UPS Today’s Worst Persons in the World!!!!!

How effing stupid do you have to be? My 88 year old Aunt sent two boxes via United Package Smashers to The Parental Unit. Shouldn’t be that hard…right? My dear Aunt wrote out their stupid little form, absolutely properly. The jackass with the hand sticking out of his forehead in Joplin, Mo, turned 5484 into 5456 on the shipping label. I realize typing four digits in the address must be difficult when you have a third hand growing out of your forehead because you’re some ignorant inbred piece of crap. What really chaps my hide is the local people telling me that my 88 year old Aunt should be checking this AssKlown’s work. I guess if she was a retired school teacher but really…her glasses are as thick as Coke bottles, she hasn’t been able to read the fine print without a magnifying glass in 20 years yet she’s supposed to correct this monkey scribe’s typo’s? Are you kidding me? Really? Are you? UPS, you are the worst of what’s wrong with corporate America. You have taken over 100 years of family history and left it on not only a porch, but the wrong porch, where it was stolen. It really doesn’t freaking matter what it was insured for. Our Grandmother died in 1968. Her music box probably was thrown into a dipsy dumpster by the crackhead who stole the package off of the wrong porch. Nice job jerkoffs. Somebody must be really proud of the job you do. My father’s sister has been dead for over ten years. Her silver might have made it to craigslist, or the flea market or who knows what where. I can’t tell you where we could possible start looking to find the stuff. And you are going to give us $200 because that’s what the declared value was. The declared value was priceless. How do you rectify that? You’re ignorant and you suck.

A couple of years ago they left my roommates new computer on the porch when no one was home. My old neighborhood was a transitional neighborhood. I would regularly see guys walking down the street that had their I just got out of prison suit on. And they left a $3000 computer on the doorstep. We never saw it. That driver asked me about it. I said “Are you nuts? The boxes probably said DELL all over them. Try the flea market, dumb ass.”

I’ll include the $36 million additional advance that I sent to the Santa Clara County Recorder via UPS. That was when I was at LandAmerica in 2003. To date, it hasn’t shown up, but by God supposedly someone signed for it.

We are now accepting your best of the worst of UPS.  I’m thinking Big Brown Turd haiku in the next few days.

The little engine that could

Yesterday’s post seemed to have hit a nerve. Sorry. Is that a bruise? A friend stopped by today and we chatted for a while. She mentioned Placer. You know, Placer Title is the little engine that could. They have like four people left in the plant and I think their legal department is located in a hunting lodge in Jackson. But they just keep chuggin’ along. I think I can, I think I can.

Poking fun

I went and saw an old friend today. She’s an acupuncturist. Really, she’s a natural healer. Healing is in her soul. I decided to see her about why my left shoulder, left hip and left knee and left sciatica were never completely healing. Notice, no injuries to the right side. And I’m left handed. She is still a gifted healer. I guess I’ll be switching to Stevia. I think she’s probably on to something. We hadn’t seen each other in probably four years. She was around when I got Xica…the 6.9 pound ball of Hell on four paws. She owned her place and switched apartments with me when Xica wouldn’t stop screaming due to her separation anxiety. Even though it’s been over three years, telling her that Xica had died tore me up. But I’m going to switch to Stevia and do what she tells me to, most of it. I’m just not sure if I have the right knob to dial it down.

Leave this one horse town like two rebels without a cause

Today used to be a rest day, because class was on Tuesday. Class finished last week and now here I am with no planned workout on Tuesday. That can’t be good. Instead of going down to the gym and doing a HIIT cardio workout, I went to the crossfit website. Today’s workout was:

Run one mile
Two minutes each of:

Rowing
Dumbbell thrusters
Medicine ball cleans
Double unders
Pull ups

I can’t really do the last two at all. So I just jumped rope and did assisted pull-ups. I don’t think I lost much. Basically if you run a 10 minute mile, which is bookin’ for me, and then do two minutes of five exercises, you’ve kicked your own ass in 20 minutes. And that’s exactly what happened. I do think it helped work out my hammies. They’ve been taken turns being tight. Yesterday it was the right leg, the day before it was the left. I got home tonight and found my Fat Cyclist pink jersey in the mail box. It rocked so much that I put it on and road a quick 10…in the blustery wind.

fat-cyclist.JPG

Coconut Telegraph

It’s been buzzing for quite some time, so I might as well mention a few things…and probably get on a rant. I’m not sure what my problem is, but I think this is three rants in a row. One of the things I keep hearing is that Stewart is leaving California. This one’s been all over for some time. I would hope that this is hogwash. It would be the stupidest move Houston could make. Quite honestly, they stayed here the last 18 months, the worst is over, pulling out now is stupid. It’s gravy moving forward. Just like the Wine Dog predicted, the market stabilized in April 2008. It didn’t run, it just quit circling the drain. It’s not going to be bread and roses going forward, but the worst is over. I thought they were going to cut and run a year ago. If they paid to stay here, I’d hope at this point they’d stay in California and reap the benefits of sticking around. I would hope the rumors are just that. After all, rumors swirled about Alliance Title Company going under for years while things were solidly in the black; long before they even got close to being in trouble. I don’t believe Stewart is in trouble in California. They aren’t exactly counting money with their tongues, but they’re not hanging by a thread. Financial Title Company on the other hand, may be a dead man walking. The rats have been diving off the ship at any opportunity and frankly, after the way the Hauptmans and Mercury handled the Alliance employees, I don’t blame them. Unfortunate for FTC is the fact that the rats that were picked up by the competition were the ones with books of business. When the books leave the business leaves. And then what? I’m hearing that their burn rate is off the hook and Mercury is just about out of money. But we thought the Fat Lady was doing her scales back in March so what does the Wine Dog know? I know that Alliance built a bunch of offices did a bunch of recruiting and expansion in 2005 when they should have been circling the wagons and battening down the hatches for a rough ride. I know who directed all that expansion and I think he’s still on the Mercury payroll if for no other reason than to keep his mouth shut. I know the attorneys for the Labor Commission were trying to track him down to no avail. I know the corporate buck stops there.

I have to wonder why title companies are consistently slow to react and slower to recover to market nuances. They are still dialing everything in but the market is telling us otherwise. Fidelity is rumored to be assimilating the Chicago Title brand. They should have done that a year ago if they were going to do it, not now. I remember having a discussion in 2005 about the market getting ready to adjust with someone way up the food chain from me. I said we weren’t in a real market and we needed to be prepared for the change. He told me the market was happening so it was a real market. Uh, not so much. Six months later he was talking about how the market was adjusting and we had to make adjustments to coincide with that correction. It was a horse, barn gone situation. Title insurance companies are always closing the barn door too late. I don’t get that. I’ve been waiting four days for an updated prelim. The reason I’ve been given is staff reductions, but the market has changed and they haven’t reacted. I’m getting calls from the competition asking me to close deals because their staff can’t handle it. They haven’t reacted to the market either. Yet I sit at my desk, moving commas around for paralegals. I no longer speak to the deaf ears. It’s like teaching a pig to sing. Takes a long time and pisses off the pig.

And one name read and nobody really cared, but a pretty little girl with a bow in her hair

Lucky you, it’s a good day for a rant. But first, I rode 33 miles yesterday on a ride I did all the time on my other bike. I took 22 minutes off of my average time. The new bike is fast. Or maybe I’m stronger. No, the new bike is fast. I bought new tires for it, but I haven’t installed them yet. I took them out of the box and they are “breathing” on the floor next to the bike. Judi suggested asked Dominic, what tires to get and he suggested Continental Grand Prix. I got the grey ones, I wasn’t feeling ego-centrical enough to get the red “look at me, look at me” ones even though my bike is red. Now I’ll have to figure out how to install them. We went to Sports Basement to get them. They let well behaved dogs on a leash come in. I didn’t have one of those so I brought Beauregard. He was the hit of the party. Everybody loved him, and he did act right, in spite of himself. Anyway, the point of the story…oh yeah, everyone wants to know how Beau’s doing. He is doing excellent. The vet doesn’t believe the weight loss is due to my stupidity and I don’t believe my dog has cancer. So we’re at an impasse there. He got some meds for his diarrhea, which thankfully has subsided, even though I had nightmares about it last night. Poor Beau, they took a fecal sample. He didn’t offer it, they took it. Yeah, like that. I was out in the waiting room and heard him let out a yelp. He’s just not into that backdoor thing. Anyway things have stabilized here, hopefully weight is being gained. They’re both getting three substantial meals a day right now. I am the food God in service to the dogs. But that’s not the point, the point is with all that bike riding and then I did a ton of yard work yesterday afternoon, I got dehydrated. I split a bottle of wine with a friend last night, but it took us nearly five hours to get through the bottle, so that wasn’t the problem. Lack of water. I drank about a half liter last night after I got home while the dogs ran, but it wasn’t enough. I drank some more at 4am, 5am, 6am when I finally fed and let the dogs out and then finally 7am when I got up and the headache had subsided enough to start my day, all ready to crank on a subject.

Danger: Rant ahead

One of the local websites reports local events, local happenings and the death of local soldiers. We’ve lost a disportionate amount of soldiers from this area. Almost as bad as Stockton. Whenever the death of a soldier is reported some ass clown comes in and starts a political discussion. It happens all over the internet and all over the news. I find it utterly repulsive. I don’t care if you’re for or against the current war. You don’t argue politics over a dead soldier’s body. Would you argue politics if their lifeless body laid at your feet? It’s wrong wrong wrong. It’s wrong on Fox, it’s wrong on CNN and it’s wrong on the internet. It’s wrong in a bar and it’s wrong on the street. We all know I can’t stand CodePink. I happen to be on a mailing list that they spam with their “goings on”. Last year they sent out a mailer that they were going to have a vigil or some shit marking the death of the 3000th soldier. At that time the 3000th soldier hadn’t been killed yet. About a week later I got something else essentially saying “we can’t have this yet because the 3000th soldier hasn’t been killed yet, maybe this weekend.” It struck me as particularly ghoulish. Actually, that series of emails is why I hate them so much. They were looking to capitalize on the death of the 3000th soldier. I don’t know who it ultimately was, but that soldier had a mother and a father and possible brothers and sisters and possibly a spouse and maybe even children and friends and relatives who cared about them. They weren’t just a number, they were a human being who served this country and left their mark on this society in some way other than being the 3000th soldier to be sent home in a box. People who knew that soldier grieved over the loss. And CodePink can rot in hell for that.

If you’ve been here more than once, you know how much I oppose this war and what an incompetent I think our Commander in Chief is. (Strange, he’s the only one that calls himself that.) Believe me, I spit the words when I say it. But I will not argue politics over the body of one of our soldiers, no matter how misguided, idiotic, self serving, maligned I think this war is. Today is a day to honor those men and women, fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters. Every soldier who is serving our country deserves our respect for strapping it on for their country. Our government is another whole story.

It’s a good day for the Chicks. Because despite the right wing propaganda, they care about the men and women that serve this country and I do too. Our government really is another story.

Golf. Ass clown.

untitled.bmp
(stolen from the field negro’s site)

The mirror speaks, the reflection lies

I could do a pet peeves today.  I’m just cranky.  It’s cold and raining and it’s the 24th of May fergodsakes.  I had to cancel my morning bike ride, that makes me cranky.  And I’m opening the plethora of junk mail that arrives at The Farm every week.  I used to just throw it out but now that identity theft is being talked about so much in the media, and the economy is in the crapper, everyone is an identity thief…so I have to shred everything.  Who do I hate most?  The person who spent the time to hand write this and send it to me?  Or the stack of pre approved letters from Citi Financial, Bank of America, and who knows who else that I get every week.   I like the ones that come with the card with my name on that I can’t shred and I have cut up by hand each week.  Or the countless political mailers.  Or the pamphlet of services from our local hospital.  All crap I won’t read but will throw away.  After I make sure it isn’t actually something that was sent to me deliberately by someone I know or do business with.  Ninety minutes of my life each week that I will never recover.  I do so hate junk mail.  It’s almost worse than spam.

Hello,

I am Mr. Lawrence Duncan Attorney and financial adviser to Mr. Burke Sean (Late). I have an urgent and very confidential business proposition for you.

Mr. Burke Sean prior to his unexpected death deposited a huge sum of money (11.6 million United States dollars) with a financial institution. Eventually, this client died in a plane crash and since his death we
have not had anybody come up for the claims as the next of kin.

A situation I have monitored closely with the financial institution.

Now having monitored this deposit and managed it over the years before his death and hence nobody has showed up as the next of kin for the past years.

I now solicit for your assistance to present you as the next of kin as every other arrangement has been concluded by me. I am only waiting for a foreigner to take possession of the deposit from the security firm.
This does not have any risk attached to it as all the document pertaining to the deposit are currently intact. As his personal Attorney I cannot make claim regarding the funds, all I have to do is to donate somebody as his next of kin and beneficiary to share the proceed 50/50 after the final conclusion of the subject matter.

I therefore request you to confirm your interest by a return message through my email and I will furnish you with details and more information on how to go about the claim of the deposit from the company.

Till I hear from you.

Best regards,

Mr. Lawrence Duncan.

Who are all these foreigners with millions of dollars to split with me?

Crapatorium

I’ve had better evenings than yesterday.  Beauregard was sick some more and Rita thought it good form to join in the party.  I had her in her crate so in the event Beauregard was sick in the house (he was) she wouldn’t run through it and make the situation worse.  I came home last night and he looked at me sheepishly, knowing that he shouldn’t have, but he couldn’t help it.  I led him outside (where he proceeded to not stay, turn around and come back in and walk through the mess)  and went to grab Rita by the collar and lead her out, hopefully avoiding the minefield and containing the damage.  I didn’t count on her having been sick in her crate.  I opened the door and reached down to grab her collar as a whirling dervish of red Doberman and shit came flying back at me.  Just not what you like to see on a Friday afternoon.  The house smells like pine sol (an amazing improvement) and everyone is currently banished to the tiled area of the house. Everybody is also now on white rice, eggs and kefir until further notice.

rice-nose-beau.JPG

It would be clever if he was balancing something on his nose, but he’s not, it’s a stuck piece of rice.

Party like a Rock Star

It’s raining this morning…ok, that’s nearly whining, twice in three paragraphs.  I went down to the gym and worked out like an animal.  I added 5% to my weights, started a four week cycle for the upcoming meet and finished with a crossfit (modified) workout.  I’d have been better off on the bike.

Three sets (I just didn’t have five in me)

20-15-10

  • kettlebell swings
  • those nasty crossfit situps
  • back extensions
  • knee ups

I think it’s going to leave it’s mark.

OK, Beauregard has a date with destiny…his vet.  I think the issue is their affinity for green apricots, but just in case, we’re going to have the boy looked at.

Random cuteness from the Chinese earthquake…really, trust me.

Dippin’ low in the lap of luxury.

We just don’t like seeing this sort of thing.  These guys are in and out of our office all day long.   Some are clowns, but all accounts, this guy was a good guy.  Not a drug addled train wreck.  Sadly, it occurred the morning of the Ride of Silence.  Unlike Critical Mass, the Ride of Silence stops at lights, obeys the law and generally behaves properly.  When a car hits a bike or a bike hits a car, it doesn’t really matter who’s fault it is, the biker goes down.

Beauregard is on the mend actually he just kept me up all night.  He was fine for a day and a half and then last night we had 1:00a.m. roll call.  Repeatedly.  I think he just bought himself a trip to the vet tomorrow.  He’s in great spirits and his eyes are bright and clear, but something is definitely hinky with my boy.

I  made all my reservations for the AAU meet in Vista.  I was able to use the plane ticket from November, when the plane for Vegas never left.  You know, when I asked for a day off to drive but couldn’t have it because it was a “blackout” period.  Even though the Regional Manager was off the entire following week, in the “blackout” period.  Even though I knew it wasn’t set in stone because I had covered for another manager to go home for Christmas during the “blackout” period in 2000.  Yeah, the arbitrary “blackout” period that only applies to me.  And you jackholes wonder why I’m bitter.  Anyway, I had a left over plane ticket.  I wish I could have applied my lifting fees too.  That’s $70 I just ate.  Thanks Mr. FirstAmerican.  That’s like a days pay around here.  Oh yeah, then he has “appointments” and disappears off the radar two Fridays later.  Yeah right, “appointments”.  The rules seem to only apply to me.  Not that I’m bitter.  Anyway, I was able to get my San Diego plane tickets for a straight across trade for the November tickets that I didn’t use.  Then I started looking at hotel rooms.  Vista California is on the east side of Pendleton.  You don’t want to screw around with cheap hotels out there, unless you like drunken jarheads.  Unfortunately, their idea of a cheap hotel is $89-130 a night… to stay in Vista, California… with a bunch of drunken jarheads.  So I took a look at staying in San Diego proper.  My line of thinking was “what’s another $100 if it’s going to be $300 anyway”.  So I tried priceline.com.  I have never ever gotten what I wanted off that site.  But I’m not making the money I used to so what the hell.  I determined that I was willing to go to a 3 star by their ratings.  The 3 stars were going from $211-$400 a night.  I bid $130, with charges that made it $150 a night.  I know that sounds high but Vista, California $130, plus taxes.  There, it’s not so bad.  I got that bid accepted.  It makes me wonder if I should have started lower, but that hotel was $422 for the weekend on every other site and I got it for $300 for the weekend.  Here it sits.  Saying I get out of the meet in time, I can actually walk the 1.3 miles to Petco Park that night and see the Padres play the Tigers.  Or not.  I think this might be an ok trip.

Walking down this rocky road

While I hate to admit it, sometimes I’m a complete idiot.  Today is about turning myself in.

I’ve been worried about Beau’s weight, he seems to be losing a little weight.  I added a 1/2 cup of food at a third meal, I figured since Rita got three meals, I could easily give him a little more then.  Yesterday, he was a very sick boy.  He got me up several times the night before last to go out and it wasn’t good once he got there.  I went to the gym yesterday morning and God bless his pointed little head, he was in the main part of the house and there was about 20 square feet of foyer that had tile and the rest was carpeted.  He CHOSE the tile to leave his accident.  That’s a good dog, you can’t teach that.  So yesterday Rita went back into her crate and Beau had all the tile in the dining room for the day.  Good thing, it looked like a war zone when I got home.  Whatever it was, he was pretty much over it in the morning.  He hurled last night, but I think that was from the unripe apricot he stole off the tree.  He gacked up the pit.  He was fine last night and he’s fine this morning.  I took a look at him when I was in the kitchen last night, he’s always hovering around waiting for me to make a mistake and he looked like a rescue dog.  You could see his ribs and his hips were protruding a bit.  I realize that it was exacerbated by the diarrhea earlier in the day, he’s naturally thin so dehydration would suck him up just like a bodybuilder.  I decided to weigh him and he’s down 11 pounds.  Holy Crap!  I was out of rice, so I decided to go get him some rice and eggs to settle his tummy and some raw ground chuck to add in a day or so to get some meat back on him and then I worried the rest of the night about him.  About 10:30 last night, I’m laying in bed and for some reason I thought “I wonder if I misread the label on the new kibble and I’m underfeeding him…”  I’m a jackass.  This poor guy was getting 2 1/2 cups a day and the label says he should be getting 3-4 cups a day.  Needing reading glasses sucks.  I was so worried about Rita and her weight that I starved 11 pounds off of poor Beauregard.  He’s so getting ground chuck with her every day for the next week or so until I get him back up to weight.

Not sure where to file this one…

This came c/o REinCT  the home of Bad MLS photo of the Day.  A personal favorite.  In Santa Barbara, they’re actually allotting part of the City parking lots for people living in their cars…mortgage people.  Having lived in Santa Barbara, this doesn’t surprise me.  When I was there we had a postcard on the wall that said:

Santa Barbara has two types of people.  The wealthy landowners and the kitchen help.

We were the kitchen help.

Crossfit

I don’t know why I was so stupid yesterday, but yesterday was just a dumb day for me.  I chose a crossfit workout since I was up early.  The website said “rest” and it wasn’t a rest day for me.  So I chose:

5 pullups

10 pushups

15 squats

Do cycle for 20 minutes.

Easy enough eh?  It didn’t dawn on me how many squats that might be.  In my case it was 90.  I don’t usually do squats so it was 90 and now my hams are about to snap, and my hip flexors are letting me know that I’m a complete moron.  I’m sure it was good for me.  Pulling my head out of my ass might be good for me too.

Love too good

Spread your wings

You’ve been too long in the cage

Feeling the rage of abuses

Oh, I’m sorry.

Sometimes I’m just amazed by a dog’s ability to love. First that you could name a Doberman “Bunny” and she could still be full of love is unreal. I’m going to talk to the rescue about having a contest to rename this poor creature. She had diarrhea and vomiting and her vet wanted to do more tests. She was a year old. The owner said “put her down.” I can only hope that the universe or karma is employed when this individual is sick, hurt or injured. I hope they receive the same love and devotion they saved for this poor pup. She had parvo. The vet took possession and cured her. She is the sweetest animal I’ve met in a long time. This little dog has a loving soul. God bless the vet for what she did. May she continue to apply those principles to her practice. She was a very sweet dog. She laid down in the passenger seat and dozed all the way to meet my fellow transporter. She was happiest when I had a hand on her. Anywhere. She pushed herself away from the door, so I thought, but it was really to just touch my leg while I was driving. I hope the ass monkey that turned this dog in has a special seat reserved for them in hell. Ann the next driver joked that I was going back to Red Bluff in two weeks to pick this one up too. Naw. I don’t like the sweet ones, I like the bad dogs. That’s why I had to get the little Mexican hooker who had already gotten knocked up and had two tattoos er, lovely Rita. I like a dog that’s smarter than me and has to prove it every other moment. This one’s just a nice dog. A damned nice dog.

bunny2.JPG How gorgeous is this dog? And sweet? And those markings are beautiful.

More animal crackers

This house doesn’t have air conditioning and I can’t sleep in the heat. So I haven’t slept since like last Tuesday? So last night, it cooled off a bit. I ran the fans, opened the windows and got the bedroom down the 87. Not optimum, but tolerable. So off I toodle to bed around 10pm. It’s cool enough that I fall sound asleep. Exactly an hour and 15 minutes later, not one but two Doberman are standing basically on my head barking their heads off. Rita pops off at anything like any young animal. She’s learning what to alert for and what doesn’t matter. Beau knows. Beau was up and doing the frozen dog dance. This is where they are rigid on full alert and movement is achieved from the recoil of their bark. Like a child’s toy being moved about by a four year old. Not amusing. Then I see the distinct beam of a flashlight come through one of the windows from the street. I used to live in a pretty, uh, transitional neighborhood. They’re still fighting to keep that neighborhood. So a flashlight through a window to me means the police are chasing someone. Effing great. Every window in the house is open and the guns are in the other room. Not to worry, Dumb and Dumber are barking their fool heads off. I jump up and get dressed (where is that baseball bat?) and hear a voice from beneath the window. “I’m really sorry. My indoor cat got out and she’s hiding under this trailer. I’m really sorry.” My neighbor to the right has a travel trailer tucked up against his place between the houses on that side. Runaway Kitty is hiding under it. I told the dogs to lay down and shut up and remarkably, they did that. After a while it was apparent that Runaway Kitty was being a bit of a butthead. So I slip on some shoes (why the hell not at this point?) and grab a flashlight and go out to assist. He’s come back with a spray bottle to herd her to his girlfriend. Just then the girlfriend gets the kitty and all is good. It’s the dude who lives next door on the left who I’ve not met. He introduces himself and says he’s sorry again. I told him not to worry, I get it. And I do. I’d like my neighbor to be cool and get dressed and bring out another flashlight if one of my nimrods went on walkabout. Yeah, I get it.

But wait there’s more

More shit to make you cry. You may have seen Randy Pausch on youtube or Oprah (that’s the reprisal that’s a lot shorter) or some of the other places the Last Lecture has appeared since he originally gave it. Sunday, he delivered a speech at the graduation at Carnegie Mellon. He was given 3 to 6 months to live, nine months ago. Amazing dude. Speaking of amazing people Fat Cyclist jerseys went on sale today. I got mine. What just warms my heart is the fact that the men’s pink jersey was sold out before I got home from driving Bunny to Williams…but at least they made the women’s in Wine Dog size, so I’m good. They also have Fat Cyclist t-shirts and some other swag to help offset the medical bills.