I’m the other white meat known as ‘Kid Funky Fried’

This country has had better weeks.  And few worse.

Oh how we cling to our  guns because they are going to protect us.  No one would be able to hurt us if we all had our assault rifles.  No one would be able to place a bomb at a public event and murder three people and maim hundreds more.  And if they did the gun owners could just mow them down with their awesome firepower.

Yeah.  Didn’t happen.

Well, if those same two shit stains got into a gun fight we could defend ourselves and shoot back and…didn’t happen.

Your “Red Dawn” fantasy is laughable.

~Steve Marmel

Why is no one asking where these shit stains got their weapons?  Eh?  Anyone?  Beuller?

One guy wasn’t a citizen at all and had been checked on by the FBI at the bequest of another nation.  The other held a green card and was 19 years old.  Neither would have passed a background check.  But if you ask the family of Officer Sean Collier or Officer Richard H. Donohue Jr., keeping a gun out of the hands of those two shit stains would have been a good thing.  Wayne LaPierre, once again you have blood on your hands.  Two cops, 20 children, six teachers, 12 movie goers and all the injured.  58 in Aurora alone.  The list goes on and on.

The gun control issue has reached a fevered pitch.  King Obama is going to come and take all of your guns doncha know.  Even though he has done less to restrict our freedoms than he predecessor did.  Habeas corpus was suspended for certain persons under Bush.  Where was the outrage?  The hubbub over the Miranda warning goes back over 40 years.  Not Obama.  Call it the Patriot Act and take a big chunk of our freedoms.  Bush.  Not Obama.  Quite honestly the word “patriot” has been so abused that I look at it the same way I look at “gourmet” and “luxury”.  Hijacked by unscrupulous charlatans and snake oil salesmen for their own diabolical reasons.

All they were trying to pass was a law that required background checks and even that was watered down.  How many more have to die before we figure it out?  Or are we just going to go backwards, eschew civility and revert to the Wild Wild West?   But goddammit we’re free!  Or are we?

We have our guns.  It’s a victory for America.  We won last week when an entire community came under martial law and fought back…oh wait, no they didn’t.  They all went home and stayed there like the police asked them too.   We are free from a paramilitary police force…oh wait, that’s who roamed the streets of Boston, Cambridge and Watertown while the residents stayed inside.


photo via abcnews.com

I really don’t understand why we’re ok with these heavily armed police departments with tanks and everything but goddammit we can’t let the government take our guns.  Here’s an idea.  You think you’re going to pick a fight with the government and live through it because you have an cache of assault weapons?  Your argument is invalid.  They found these little shit stains in four days and took them completely down in a little more than 24 hours, most of which was spent looking for them, while martial law was in effect in an entire community.  You will be toast the minute you think you’re going to raise a weapon to these guys.  They will burn that mutha down.


Speaking of fire…holy crap what the hell happened in Texas last week?

Rick Perry went to Illinois with the Texas is Wide Open for Business campaign.

When you have the kind of tax and regulatory policies in place (that Illinois does) . . . you are enticing businesses to fail.”

~Rick Perry

How’s that working for you Rick?

The last time this plant was checked was in 1985.  Almost 40 years ago.  Amazingly in the last 40 years they apparently stowed a little more ammonium nitrate than they should have.  And then destroyed an entire town.  Don’t have a heart attack in West, Texas.  Most of the firefighters and EMT’s are now dead.  But Texas is Open for business with none of those nasty liberal regulations to hinder the capitalism.  Well played.  That’s why Rick Perry can never advance to the national theater.  Ever.

Got two good eyes, but you still don’t see

Well, you had to know which side of the fence I was going to fall on with this one.  But here goes.

  1. Black Friday is bullshit.
  2. Shopping on Thanksgiving for Christmas is bullshit
  3. Walmart is bullshit
  4. Target and Toys R Us?  Bullshit.

When I lived in the City I used to enjoy going downtown early on Friday morning to see the new window displays.  Macy’s always outdid themselves, the SPCA was loading puppies into the windows at Gumps, and there was nothing like getting a cup of coffee and walking the quiet streets checking out what everyone had done.  I was generally out of there by about 9:30am before the jackassery began.  It was always cold and I almost always needed gloves.  And I do miss that.

I also used to go down to Fisherman’s Wharf on Christmas eve and get crab and sourdough from the street markets because there was no tourists there that day.

Then the media started advancing the corporate agenda by calling it “Black Friday” and talking about the sales and the “deals” and on and on.  Of course next week they will tell you that the deals today weren’t that good.  If people actually understood mark-up that would help.

This year I will go out of my way to find stuff manufactured in the USA.  If not the USA, I will go with a developed country, England, Germany, Canada, not a third world country.  Or China.  I promise you that while I rarely walk into a Walmart (I haven’t been in one in the last eight years) that will not change.

I will not be supporting any union busters.  I didn’t used to be so pro-union as I’ve become.  There was a point where I thought unions might have run their course.  Then this country and Fox started moving in a different direction.  As a quick aside let me throw out some facts about the Hostess union mess.

  • The company owes the pension plan $944 million dollars.  That’s about $51,000 per employee that has now evaporated.  How would you like it if your company just stole $51k from you?
  • The company pays the bakers about $18 per hour.  Someone who makes that makes $3120 per month, or $37,500 per year.   The management asked them to take a 8% pay cut, which takes them down to $16.50 per hour.  That is $2860 per month or $34,320 per year.  Take out 20% in federal and state taxes, you’re down to $27,500.  Take out $1500 a month in rent, you’re down to $9500 left over.  Take out $300 a month for food and you’ve got $5900.  That leaves you $491 per month for utilities, transportation, insurance and incidentals.  You cannot live on that.
  • Prior to Hostess filing bankruptcy the CEO made $750,000.  In July 2011 knowing full well they were going back to the trough, the executive team gave themselves raises.  The CEO went from $750,000 to $2,550,000.  Here are the rest:
    • Brian Driscoll, CEO, around $750,000 to $2,550,000.
    • Gary Wandschneider, EVP, $500,000 to $900,000.
    • John Stewart, EVP, $400,000 to $700,000.
    • David Loeser, EVP, $375,000 to $656,256.
    • Kent Magill, EVP, $375,000 to $656,256.
    • Richard Seban, EVP, $375,000 to $656,256.
    • John Akeson, SVP, $300,000 to $480,000.
    • Steven Birgfeld, SVP, $240,000 to $360,000.
    • Martha Ross, SVP, $240,000 to $360,000.
    • Rob Kissick, SVP, $182,000 to $273,008.
  • I’ll help with the math, that comes out to an average raise of 126% to drive a company into bankruptcy.
  • Prior total executive compensation: $3,737,000.  After  compensation: $$7,591,776.

So we’ll review.  The Union killed Hostess.  Got it.

Hostess Brands is Closed.

We are sorry to announce that Hostess Brands, Inc. has been forced by a Bakers Union strike to shut down all operations and sell all company assets. For more information, go tohostessbrands.info. Thank you for all of your loyalty and support over the years.


So when Alice Walton is one of the richest women in the world but her employees make so little that many of them get their food from a food bank or food stamps, we have to wonder, what is wrong with this country?

What is wrong with a country where Papa John’s pizza can’t afford $.14 per pizza so that their employees have access to health care?  What is wrong where Alice Walton won’t give her employees enough hours for them to qualify for health care?  What is wrong that we don’t want everyone around us to be as healthy as possible?   How long is it before this kind of stinking thinking gets us a plague?  Oh never mind, we already have on in the form of the HIV virus.

What if the title industry had unionized?  Would that have saved the thousands of jobs that are still being done in India?  (a country that doesn’t even have title insurance, FWIW)  I tried back in the 90’s.  No one wanted to rock the boat.  I was right.

Next up:  I beat the holy snot out of the “Keep the Christ in Christmass” assholes.  You love me.

And this is crazy

Two posts in two days?  You gotta know something is really pissing me off.


Complete asshats.  This is why Citizens United was total bullshit.

We just got it up the ass here in the Bay Area to the tune of $4.90 per gallon.  And then we got it up the ass a second time when Chevron donated $2,500,000. to Romney’s campaign.  Total bullshit.

As much as I would like to pick on Sheldon Adelson, the truth of the matter is he’s in the gaming business.  And people are stupid.  That’s why he’s so freaking rich.  I don’t have a problem with him participating in the political process.  I have a problem with a guy with that much money buying his political influence.  And that goes to the renting out of the Lincoln room too.  Don’t believe in it.  It’s wrong.

BTW, Jeffrey Katzenberg is Obama’s largest contributor at around $2,000,000.  Yeah, I use all the zeros just to make you think.

I think political campaigns should be like the NFL and the NBA and have salary caps.  Then it’s an even playing field.  You can spend whatever you want up to X.  Not a penny over.  Then you have to spend your money wisely and get your message out.

There are a lot of nitwits freaking out because if you look at the lists Obama’s largest contributor are UC and the government.  It’s just where the employees are sourced to.  So government employees and employees of the University of California are big supporters of Obama.  Not really a surprise.  They both stand to be axed in a Romney Administration.  Why wouldn’t they support the guy that has their back.  Makes sense.

Once the NFL stopped Eddie D’s cheating ways the dynasty was over.  It doesn’t help that it took years for the Yorks to figure out how to run a football team.  Looks like they finally figured it out.  It’s possible that Jennifer Lopez and Gloria Esteban might have figured out how to run an NFL team too.

You’re welcome


Millions of people living as foes

You know, I’d leave this subject alone if it weren’t so important.  Or if it was the drum I’ve been pounding on for the last four years.

I’ve said for 20 years that the title industry needed to unionize.  Now I know OTG just regurgitated, but before you projectile vomit, consider this; if the industry was unionized the jobs wouldn’t have been shipped to India.  And we’d all be in pretty decent shape right now.  It’s not like the title companies have less work, they don’t.  It’s different work.  Probably more work.

Now riddle me this kittens, if you were making $127k per year would everything be peachy keen in your life?  My new favorite meme is earning over $110k every year and $127k the year he filed bankruptcy.  Just as an aside the sub headline “John Pike could no longer afford his mortgage, after the housing market crashed” is either ignorance on the part of the reporter or bullshit on the part of Pike.  If your income is the same and your payment is the same you can afford your mortgage no matter what the housing market does.  Idiots.  I certainly hope a bankruptcy judge didn’t consider that to have any bearing on anything.  But seriously if you can’t live on $127k a year in Roseville, you’re a…wait for it….piker.


Come on, you didn’t see that coming.

Today is Black Friday.  It makes me sad.  Today used to be the day that I would be in downtown San Francisco at 8am with a cup of coffee in hand to wander past each of the stores to see their new displays.  I’ll never forget the year that the Macy’s display looked like cherubs in bondage.  There were the puppies and kittens at Gumps, everybody’s windows were done up and beautiful.  But they put that shit up in August now and who the hell cares any more?  Afterwards I would head over to the SF Autoshow and see all the new toys.   This year I went to the car show on Monday with a friend of mine.

Check out that little lover.  That’s a Fisker Karma.  A 100% electric car.  $90k worth of love.  When I grow up I want one of those.  Because I will just have my attorney make the tickets go away.

One of the vehicles I have been considering for my business is a Mini.  For a lot of reasons.  Most importantly gas mileage.  They get like a gazillion mpg.  And they are built by BMW so they have all that BMW safety shit in them.  But I can’t see myself selling real estate out of a clown car.

Or maybe I should sell real estate from a clown car?  If it’s good enough for the Republican Presidential election it should be good enough for me.

Speaking of which, are those guys kidding?  I love a quote I heard the other day, “The Democrats move right and the Republicans move righter”.  That’s because they keep moving the shell because the only thing they want is all the power back.  They want Obama out at any cost.  They don’t want this country to get back on track, they don’t want to create jobs, they just want to take all they can for themselves and bitch about the unwashed masses fighting over the scraps.  Greed is still one of the seven deadly sins friends.

And it’s Christmas early in my world.  Jon Stewart is more reliable than cable news anchors for information.  For the record, he’s on the comedy channel.  Load up the clown car.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
On Topic – GOP Presidential Candidates – Michele Bachmann
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

And the preacher he did start to glow

We haven’t had a link dump/rant/cheapshot lagniappe in a while.  Let’s go!

First, I have a couple of votes for worst person in the world.  Or in our first case, most disgusting excuse for an human being and certainly not a Christian on any level goes to the asshats at Westboro Baptist Church, and we use the term “church” very very loosely.  These people are the devil walking the earth.  Period.

Next up, let’s take a few minutes to talk about CEO compensation.  You know I check out everything I’m sent.  I was sent a chart saying CEO’s are making 475 times what the average production worker makes.  That is incorrect, that number is from 1999.  The correct number as of 2010 was 343.  Simple translation, for every dollar you make, the CEO of your company is making $343 of them.  If you were making $1 an hour, your CEO would be clearing $594419 per month.  But you make more than that.  In some cases $10-15 these days.  A CTO (Chief Title Officer) might be making $30 right now.  Multiply…I’ll give you a few minutes.  Yeah, we’re talking $6million per year MINIMUM.  Why are we protecting these guys from paying the same level of taxes that we pay?  Hypothetically you gross $50k per year.  Times 343, your CEO gross $17,150,000.  You pay on the average 35% of that in taxes.  $17,500 of your income goes to takes.  Your CEO pays 17% in taxes.  He pays $2,815.500.  You clear $32,500, he clears $14,335,000.  If he pays the same amount of tax as you do he would clear $11,147,500.  If you paid the same amount he did you’d clear $41,500.  Did he put his pants on one leg at a time this morning?  Hell yes.  Did he go to more school than you?  Possibly, but not probably.  So why is this ok?  It’s not.  Close the goddamned loopholes.  Thank you.

On that same subject, Occupy Wall Street.  These guys aren’t going away.   And they shouldn’t.  The sooner we listen to them instead of the corporate sponsored talking heads, the better off we’ll all be.  This looks and feels like 1967 all over again to me.  We even have the handwringing and ridiculous comments from politicians which sound exactly like they did back there.  Insert the phrase “dirty hippie” and we’re right that.

“The fact is these people are anarchists. They have no idea what they’re doing out there, they have no sense of purpose other than a basically anti-American tone and anti-capitalist. It’s a ragtag mob basically.”

“We have to be careful not to allow this to get any legitimacy, I’m taking this seriously in that I’m old enough to remember what happened in the 1960s when the left-wing took to the streets and somehow the media glorified them and it ended up shaping policy, we can’t allow that to happen.”

That’s the hateful Congressman, Peter King (R-NY).   Uh, swing and a miss there buddy.

There is a great quote about that period of our history?  Go rent “The Fog or War”.  Robert McNamara (Secretary of Defense under Kennedy and Johnson) speaks about the Viet Nam war for 90 minutes give or take.  He is asked point blank about the Gulf of Tonklin incident, which for those of you who don’t know all your history, is the event that led to our troop escalation.  Robert McNamara says that he doesn’t believe that our warship was fired upon, that it was “an over reactive radioman”.  Today he believes the event that led to our bombing North Viet Nam didn’t happen.

So Congressman King, the hippies changed policy that was a lie.  How is that bad?  Idiot.

There will be no highlights on the eleven o’clock news


Interesting.  Depending on how long you’ve been reading PBE, you’ve seen <insert your years of participation here> years of me bitching about corporations beholden to their Wall Street gods.  Looks like somebody else gets it.

Now I’m not a big fan of Anonymous.  However, 700 arrests is nothing to sneeze about.  Neither is the fact that the progressives and the teabaggers actually agree on this issue.  Wall Street has too much power in America and some people have finally figured that out.

JP Morgan Chase donated $4.6 million dollars to the NYPD to…break heads?  What was that for?  To protect their interests?  That is the most suspicious act in this whole thing.  Rumors were flying that USMC veterans were heading down to protect the protesters from the NYPD which seems to be a bit out of control on this one.  I haven’t seen any reports of their actual appearance but somethings is happening here.  Something different.  Something we haven’t seen since 1967.  The next week will tell the story.   Hopefully the story isn’t the National Guard firing live rounds into a crowd.

Monday morning seems like a good time to wake a sleeping bear.  SCOTUS ruled that a corporation was a person, I believe last year but it might have been the year before.  At the time I said it was one of the worst Supreme Court decisions of all time.  (Worse than Dred Scott for you Sarah Palin fans out there)  I stand by that.  One of the protesters had a sign that said “When you can execute a corporation, they are a person.”  That wasn’t lost on me.  I doubt idiots like Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann or Rick Perry have any idea how bad that decision actually was.   Or what that sign means.

Occupy Wall Street thinks they are on to something.  I think they are too.   So does Robert Kuttner, check out his essay here.   And so far, the bulk of the violence is being committed by the NYPD.  (and apparently funded by JP Morgan Chase)  I’ve seen some of the messages to the protesters, and they are one of non-violent protest.  No, I don’t know how I got on that list.  I hope they can hold the line on that one.

It seems to me that this country has been two trains on the same track heading towards each other for a while.  One train has been protecting the rich from tax equality with the rest of us in the name of “no new taxes” while the other has been losing their jobs, their homes, their health and everything they’ve worked for to billionaires.  In the middle the teabaggers have been screaming “zero taxes” which is absolutely asinine.  I wish I could find the picture of the teabag protest sitting on the public street with the arrows pointing to all of the things that taxpayers paid for, like the sidewalk, the stop light, the traffic sign.  Here is the most brilliant video of the week.  Hopefully this is the end of Scott Brown.


If we don’t walk away from the teabaggers and do something for the masses, these trains are going to crash.  And it ain’t going to be pretty.

The mirror speaks, the reflection lies

These guys are agents at the Cult of Red. Huge producers who go around the country teaching others how to succeed in the short sale market.

We had a deal in our office last year where Chase wouldn’t work with the owner or agent on the short sale, the buyer finally walked and the homeowner said “Screw it”, walked away and moved to Texas. SIX MONTHS LATER Chase sends the homeowner in Texas a letter saying they will pay him $30,000 to short sale his house. He calls back his agent at the Cult of Red and sonofabitch if they don’t short sell the house and the homeowner gets $30,000. Our trusty agent is just standing there blinking his eyes wondering WTF just happened. The rest of us are trying to see if we can get $30k out of our places.

I’ve got two short sale listings going right now. It’s enough to make you want to stab your own eyes out. Remember Chase’s not so professional Short Sale Negotiator 3? She’s long gone in this deal. And so was that original offer. Then I got a second offer and the buyer got sick of waiting to hear from Chase and he bought the unit on the other end of the complex and closed. And I’m still screwing around with Chase on now the third offer. With a sale date of July 7. I’d love to get that homeowner some cash from them, especially since they’ve killed two deals just by being unresponsive.

Strangely I now have a third offer and I called and got a negotiator who had a real phone number, actually answered her phone, spoke English as a first language and not some ghetto derivative. Hopefully this morning’s call to her will yield a blessing to move forward.

The other one is with Wells. It’s gone something like this. I send all the documents and receive absolute silence in return. I send the offer in. The 10 day cash offer in. Silence. I badger and badger to silence. Then I get an email giving me 24 hours to produce a litany of bullshit. I do. Then silence. I badger and receive a response that I didn’t send any of the documents. This dumbass wants a preapproval on a cash offer. The offer is $110k, the buyer sent in a bank account showing $324k in the bank. He doesn’t need a freaking preapproval. I write a list of questions. I receive a response that answers none of them. I write back that I have sent all the documents she wanted, did she not receive them? She says “Oh yeah, I have the HUD, but the 2010 taxes need to be signed.” Uh, my borrower filed electronically. That means the taxes are signed electronically and there isn’t a place to sign them. You’ve heard of TurboTax right? It’s been around for say 20 years? Today’s question to this person “When will my negotiator be assigned?” It will be the same as tomorrow’s question. And the next day until I get a negotiator.

Thibodeaux, fontaineaux, the place is buzzin’

Jack Assery, party of one, your table is ready.

OK, I know.  blahblahblah.

Thieves.  These thieves are lucky.  I don’t know that I would have been able to restrain my desire to fire off rounds at them if I’d been home.

These little d-bags stole my catalytic converter.  They unbolted it at the back but then used a pipe cutter to cut my goddamned header because the front bolts were seized.  I want to shoot them all.  I was out of town at The Cult of Red’s Family Reunion (an amazing event that makes me proud to be affiliated with them) when this happened and my dogs were in their kennels while my dog sitter slept.  If my dogs had been in the bedroom with me, I doubt these asshats would have gotten away with it.  I truly believe Ike would have woken up and at the very least given a bark.  I could have gotten off a round or two before they got away.  But finally I have to say something nice about Concord PD.  They caught them.  And they got my cat back.  And they talked Concord Toyota into reinstalling it.  So instead of having to buy a new one at $1200, I bought a new header at $300.  Add another $300 in labor and it’s back out there for these little turds to try and steal it again.  Yes, we’re going for restitution.  There are four of them.  I want every one of them to pay $600 and I want the extra to go to charity because I couldn’t use my truck to rescue any dogs or go to any AIDS Lifecycle training rides because of them.  There are consequences goddammit.

On a lighter note.

Duke is a very sensitive young man.  He’s a bit of a serial little dog mauler.  He went after a Boston yesterday.  Twice.  The little girl was just trying to say “Hi!”.  Duke was trying to do a Sylvester/Tweety bird on her.  We had a very serious discussion about his behavior.  When we got back to the condo Duke put himself on a time out.  I’ve never seen a dog who punishes himself before.  I’m down to the three who belong here and that’s kind of nice.

Prescott is living merrily up in Rossmoor with another old lady.  I thought I might have made a mistake with him.  He was a little younger and stronger than I expected.  I suggested that maybe he wasn’t the right dog for her.  Two days later everything is solved and there are no more issues.  Because Prescott is a perfect dog.

The third time he jumped on me he got a knee in the chest.

Little Sister is doing awesome in Oakland at her new home.  She had a little adjustment period too.  Crates.  That’s all I have to say.  Use crates.

Last I heard, Hannibal had everybody wrapped around his paw in Michigan.

Tomorrow I’m rolling out my new project.  It’s pretty simple and self explanatory.  Oh yeah, and if it catches on like it should it will save our nation $2 billion annually.  Really.  The Wine Dog will save this nation $2 billion annually.  Starting tomorrow.

And you’ll be pleased to know I’ve got a few rants in me.  But today in the interest of time, I’ll boil them down to a paragraph.

Somalian pirates.  The solution is simple.  Hook all 15 of those little rat bastards to the back of the US Navy destroyer and use them for chum on the way back to port.  Then stack up their ransom demand, whatever it was, set it afire and burn whatever the sharks didn’t eat for all to see.  These guys are savages and this is what they understand.  I don’t understand why we have been such pansies about this crap.  We go blow up a bunch of mud huts after 9/11 after waiting 32 days to do anything, and now we let these maggots continue to operate.  They are criminals acting in international waters.  Game over.

Gaddafi.  Or Khaddafi.  Or whatever.  He’s the best argument against what Bush did in Iraq.  We don’t have the man power to get involved in another skirmmish and over throw another crazy guy in the Middle East.  Even though this is the one that really deserves it.   Although every time I think of him I remember that we had a toy ball, I don’t remember where we got it, that my rugby team used to play with before practice.  It was the head of a terrorist.  This was back in the 90’s.  We called it the Khaddafi ball.  Or Gaddafi.  Or.

Wisconsin.  Cheese.  Remember when Reagan broke the air traffic controllers union?  Think we’re better off because he did that?  Nope.  Not a fan of union breaking.  I know the UAW is out of control, but from my experience, the unions allow people to do their jobs without worrying about a lot of other crap that people worry about in their jobs.  Union workers have superior benefits.  Wouldn’t you like to have better benefits?  Work conditions are generally better.  And they don’t find themselves involved in class actions suits for wages not paid.  I’m on my fourth now.  I got the call the other day.

Like The Brother says, if y’all would act right, but you won’t.  So here we sit.

Just for the record, I hear all this bullshit about bad teachers who just go on and on with tenure.  Name one.  Name one goddamned teacher that is so shitty that they need to be fired but can’t be because of tenure.  Name one.  I dare you to.  Can’t?  That’s what I thought.  That teacher is a right wing bug-a-boo and doesn’t exist any more than the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus.

OK, not that Santa.

Sippin’ on gin and juice, laid back with my mind on my money and my money on my mind

Part of me says “Why can’t you be a kinder gentler Wine Dog?”  The other part says RAGE ON!

Just in case you missed my rage on Chase.  Read this for background.

OK, now that you’re up to date, it’s time for a follow up post.  I’m sure there will be more on this one.  On October 4th, I sent a HAFA package to Chase.  On FEBRUARY 7th I received the following email:

Good morning,

I’m the negotiator for this file and the investor is countering this offer to 120K.  If you all accept this counter offer, I will need a signed addendum by all parties no later than Wednesday.  If I do not here from you or receive the addendum then the file will be close and foreclosure will begin.

All deals are contingent upon investor and/or Lender’s approval.
“We are a debt collector.”
Please allow 48-72 hrs for all emails to be answered.  Multiple emails may go unanswered.

OK, it took them five months to respond and the response says that I have 48 hours to respond or the file goes to foreclosure and oh, by the way, I won’t respond to your email for 48-72 hours.  WTF?

So our hero writes back the evil bank:

The buyer cancelled his offer last week.  The property is going back on the market.

I don’t understand why it’s taken Chase five months to respond and now I have two days and this goes to foreclosure.  Please explain.

Thank you

Her response:

This file was just assigned to me.  It has other departments to go through before it even gets to a negotiator.  It’s not assigned to a negotiator as soon as the shortsale packet is submitted.

All deals are contingent upon investor and/or Lender’s approval.
“We are a debt collector.”
Please allow 48-72 hrs for all emails to be answered.  Multiple emails may go unanswered.

Bullshit, you clowns uploaded the wrong template.  Did you think I forgot?  And then you took two months and a phone call to your executive offices to correct it, but I respond anyway:

I was going to market it to get another buyer, this is a HAFA package.  Why is it going to foreclosure so quickly?

This property has been on the market for 75 days and I’ve received the offer you have and another one at $100k with 3% CC which my seller did not accept because we felt it was too low.  After the first one fell out we came back to the second one but they’ve moved on. I’ll adjust the price to $120k but this property is across from the BART tracks and it is discouraging most buyers.  We have not been able to get an offer at $135k, $125, or $115k in 75 days.

Should I mention that I’m now pissed?  Because you can imagine how pissed I am at this point.  She writes back:

Per the BPO this property is vacant.  That would not make it eligible for HAFA.

All deals are contingent upon investor and/or Lender’s approval.
“We are a debt collector.”
Please allow 48-72 hrs for all emails to be answered.  Multiple emails may go unanswered.

Except one thing.  If I had been current on all my emails from the board and CAR I would have known that on February 1st the law changed and the property can be vacant and the borrow can move out.  In my case she moved out about a month ago, but she was there when the guy did the BPO.  She was cleaning the house when the guy showed up.  I called her.  That’s what she said.  So I write back:

That’s interesting.  There was somebody there the last time I as at the property.  I will check that out but could you answer all of my concerns please.

This is what the little bitch wrote back:

What are your other concerns, your last email just states that it is across from the BART tracks.

All deals are contingent upon investor and/or Lender’s approval.
“We are a debt collector.”
Please allow 48-72 hrs for all emails to be answered.  Multiple emails may go unanswered.

Red.  Flag.  Bull.  Toro.

Why is the foreclosure going so quickly when it took Chase over 5 months to get me a negotiator?  It’s been two months since I got that offer.  The guy took off last week after waiting two months.    Then you give me 48 hours to get a response (and your email says you may not respond for 48-72 hours) or you close the file and it goes to foreclosure.  I’d like to put it back out there and try and find another offer, but if the file is closed then I have to go through another five months of inaction from Chase???

I only got this far in five months because I called the Executive offices last month, yet every time I hear back from you guys I have 48 hours to respond, yet it takes you MONTHS to respond.   That’s a concern.

You say it’s going to foreclosure in two days.  That’s a concern.

You say it’s vacant and it’s not.  Do you have photos?  I don’t think it’s vacant.  I will check later today, but I think the BPO is wrong.  That’s a concern.

You want $120k and I’ve had it on the market for 75 days and haven’t been able to get it.  I told you why the pricing was a problem.  That’s a concern.

Those are all concerns.  Can you address them please?

And here is the money post:

1.   I have nothing to do with why you were contacted in 5 months.  I can only address what is going on with the file when it was assigned to me.
2.   If the file is countered then you have 48-72 hours to respond to accept of decline.
3.   There is no offer on the property so it doesn’t matter about the counter offer anymore
4.   Once a file is deny foreclosure is always resumed, not meaning it’s going to sale in 2 days.
5.   If this property is HAFA eligible you have a short time period to submit a valid offer which I believe is no more than 120 days.
We can go back an forth about the file all day.  Bottom line is I will not be working the file until there is an offer.

All deals are contingent upon investor and/or Lender’s approval.
“We are a debt collector.”
Please allow 48-72 hrs for all emails to be answered.  Multiple emails may go unanswered.

I didn’t respond to this post.  I boiled over for a while, because the seller is a friend of mine.  I am outraged by the way that this stupid little bitch that they call a Short Sale Negotiator III is treating my seller.  My seller owned that home since 1993.  She’s retired now because she can’t get a job.  She burned up her retirement trying to save that house.  And this is how Chase treats her.  I closed my accounts with them last week.  This is one of the reasons.  I’m a rat’s ass hair away from burying all my money in a coffee can in the back yard. But I can’t stop being outraged at the fact that Chase cares so little about their customers that they didn’t bother to hire or train who they hired to behave in an intelligent compassionate manner.

I finally got some satisfaction on this file.  I went to facebook and inputted the little bitches name.  This is why you have to manage your content on the web.  This is who is making a decision for a great grandmother out in California who has lost everything.  Chase, you are an embarassment.

She looks like a refuge from GirlOhNoYouDidnt.com

All I’ve got, I had to steal

The wine industry has no idea what they’re in for.  I know.  I’ve been preaching the gospel to deaf ears.  I will find no solace in a “I told you so”.  Wine will be changed forever and not in a good way.

Wine Enthusiast just awarded Bill Foley Man of the Year.  My personal disappointment in this decision runs so deep it’s palpable. OK the fact that Wine Enthusiast thought that calling him “humble as he is an established leader” makes me want to vomit.

Foley is raiding the wine industry just like he raided Carl’s Jr. way back when and the title industry in the mid 80’s.  Consider this, in the mid 80’s the real estate industry was in the crapper and Foley bought Western Title, the benchmark for title insurance in California at the time.  Then he continued his raiding ways and built Fidelity National Title.  How many thousands of qualified title and escrow professionals are out of work because of his management style?  How many thousands were laid off, stripped of their benefits and then brought back at a third of the salary with no benefits to their old job?  You are all out there.  I know that.  How many times do I have to tell the same goddamn story to the wine industry?  By the time y’all hear me it will be too late.  It makes me sad for California wine.

Three days later Fidelity National Financial announced their earnings.

2010 was a successful year for FNF on a number of fronts. The Title business experienced strong refinance volumes due to the low mortgage interest rate environment, and we continue to closely manage our expense levels, producing our strongest title earnings and pretax margin in a number of years. The fourth quarter was particularly strong, with a 13.8% pretax margin. The strength of our 2010 earnings allowed us to set our annual 2011 common stock dividend at $0.48 or $0.12 per share per quarter based upon a 2011 dividend payout ratio of 30% of 2010 earnings. We remain the largest and most profitable title company in the country and despite a potentially more challenging environment, we are focused on producing strong title insurance earnings in 2011. ~Bill Foley

I bet it doesn’t feel that way for the poor schmucks that are grinding out a living working for that guy.  Not counting the 300 people who are going to lose their jobs, probably right about now.  We all remember that Foley’s compensation went up 171% in 2009.  Wonder what his increase was last year.

Dear Wine Industry, WAKE THE HELL UP!