Send me away with the words of a love song

At the end of 2016 everyone was complaining about what a crap year it was.  Well, I’d take 2016 back in a heartbeat right now.

Two days ago I had to put Rita to sleep.  It was one of the five worst days of my life.  The day I lost my father.  The day I lost Xica.  The day I lost Beauregard and the day I lost Rita.

My life is not the same.  She was a huge personality that permeated everything that happened at the Farm.

Nine years and one week.  That’s how long Rita was in my life.  Slightly more if you count back to when I originally met her.  She was on my first rescue transport.  I picked up two dogs in Los Gatos and drove them to Vallejo.  Everybody told me I was going to fall in love with the big goofy red boy Hoss.  Didn’t happen.  The other dog was this dark red bitch.  She got into the front seat and pressed the top of her head into my chest and didn’t move for the entire trip.  I scratched under her chin and she did a little two step thing that she did her entire life, including for the neurologists at Davis.  On Thursday, the last day of her life, they brought her in and she pressed her head against my chest and I scratcher her chin.

I dropped Rita off back in December 2007 at the appointed location and handed her over to the woman who is now my friend to drive to Red Bluff, but Rita never left my mind.  Several weeks later when the flyer came out about her I called up the rescue and said “Don’t send out those flyers, I want that dog.”

January 2008 was a stormy January, just like this one.  I had to wait for the storm to clear to go get her.

Originally, I did not crate her.  And she tore up my shit.  Once.  Then she moved to a crate.  I remember the first thing she did was beat the crap out of Beauregard.  Here is my favorite picture of them together.

I always felt like that dog was the adult around here and the rest of us just got to live here.  She spanked every boy I ever brought through here.  And beat Little Sister bloody.

Little Sister did not understand who the big bitch of the household was.

Rita ran and ran and ran.  If the sun was out, she was in the yard patrolling for varmits.  All of the time.  The sun went down and Rita would come inside and assume her position on the dog couch and go to sleep.  Occasionally she would check on me but for the most part, she just kept an eye on me from a distance.  As she got older she would come to my chair at night and want to be pet, for hours.  She just wanted me.  She’d come up to me in the kitchen in the morning and lay her head along my leg and want her ears scratched.  She’d always jump up when I moved around in the morning and follow me where ever I went.  Her cold wet nose greeting me at my bedside for years.  She killed more varmits than any other dog I have ever owned including the execution of the rat that found it’s way all the way back to my office closet.  She was Rita the Assassin.

Years ago I asked God for my decisions regarding end of life with my dogs to always be clear.  The decision with Rita was crystal clear.  She was miserable and in incredible pain.  The only reason I would have taken her home from Davis was to make myself feel better.  There was no benefit to Rita.  I let her go at Davis and donated her body to research.

This is the last photo I took of Rita before I let her go.  This picture tells me I did the right thing.

She went out with the throttle full on just like she lived every day with me.  She was my little hot rod, my pretty little girl, my cholla bitch and my heart.  She had become a little stiff moving and back in September I took her to an acupuncturist.  That helped her some.  Her knees were blown years ago and we chose not to operate so the obvious diagnosis was arthritis.  The last week in December she was hunched over as if she might be bloated.  I rushed her in only to find that she was not bloated, but in some pain.  We put her on Rimadyl.  On January 4 I took her back to Encina Veterinary clinic.  I moved the dogs the Encina after Beauregard died.  My hope was that if I needed someone to look at a sick dog I could get them in because I was a client.  As it turned out that didn’t work.  Rita was urinarily and fecally incontinent.  They thought Rita had a urinary infection and gave her antibiotics.  She continued to deteriorate.

On Monday January 9th I called Encina three times trying to get to talk to the vet.  I tried to get an appointment for her and the first time they could get her in was Friday.  The vet finally said she thought I needed neuro.  I called to make an appointment with the neurologist and the first available was January 26th.  I told them I was pretty certain that without intervention my dog would not live that long.  The squeezed her into the schedule on January 19th.  On Tuesday morning she was worse.  I called the Canine Rehabilitation Center and they got her in within 90 minutes.  That vet did a more thorough examination than any of the other vets had done to date.  She said there was something neurologically wrong and I needed to get her in ASAP.  I opted for UC Davis.  She told me how to “back door” their system.  I called to get an appointment first and the first appointment they had was in February.  They said “Have your vet call and if we believe it’s an emergency we can take her on an emergency basis”.  CRC called and set it up within an hour.  UC Davis called back and said “Can you come now?”  It was Tuesday night and it was pouring rain with no let up in sight.  But my Dad wasn’t around any more to tell me how stupid it was to drive to Davis in that rainstorm so I said “Yes” and away we went.

It was my mother’s birthday so I stopped and bought her a birthday cake, dropped it off, said happy birthday to took off.  I had to buy new windshield wipers and a tank of gas in the deluge, but I did and we took off.  She had three board certified neurosurgeons examining her and a student.  I signed off on $7000 surgery bill to save that dog.  They did a complete neuro work up and determined that yes, there was a problem around her L5-S1 sacrum area.  They would hospitalize her and do more tests in the morning.

The morning brought a full spinal XRay which revealed a 6-8 centimeter mass on her spleen and something “bothersome” at the L5 juncture.  Did I want to do an MRI or an ultrasound with a needle biopsy.  I opted wisely for the latter.  As it turns out, I saved myself around $1500 by being right the first time.  No MRI was needed.  The needle biopsy determined she had osteosarcoma and the outlook was bleak.  They said she was in pain from the days testing and they would like to keep her over night and manage her pain intravenously.  I agreed.  She had not been eating for me and as it turns out a tech spent 30 minutes trying to get her to eat 1/2 can of dog food.  The next step was clear.

The thing about UC Davis is that it’s a teaching and research hospital.  I asked Travis the young student if letting her go was the correct thing to do.  He said “It would not be wrong”.  I asked him if there would be a benefit to donating her body to science.  He said there was a program and yes.  He brought in Rita and it was clear that she was done.  She buried her head in my lap and I just stroked her head.  He brought in a blanket for her to lay on.  I helped her down but she yelped in pain.  They let me spend about 30 minutes with her.  I don’t recall every crying this much over a dog.  Even Beauregard was not as painful as this.  She was with me longer than Beau.  And with Xica I was expecting it because of her age.  Rita just never really slowed down until that last week in December.  I laid on the floor with her.  Holding her, telling her what a great dog she had been and how much I loved her.  I told her to look for Beauregard when they gave her the pink juice.  And she died in my arms.

My life will never be the same because that dog came into my life.  I am broken right now.  It will get better in time, but it’s going to take some time.

You’re king in a fool’s paradise

It’s time for me to just totally lose my shit.

Dear Republicans,

You seething pile of rubbish!  You are a bunch of idiots.  You say less government but want to legislate bathrooms and abortions and gay marriage and make up shit that just doesn’t matter.  Like there is no such thing as an abortion in the 9th month, but you candidate is such a freaking moron that he thinks there is.  And you stupid shits listen to him and his ilk.  You deserve each other.  You’re heading to a civil war within your party and it couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of ignorant inbred backwoods pig humpers.

Here’s the deal, there was one guy you should have run.  And you never looked at him.  You chose a narcissist with two ex-wives more baggage than Zsa Zsa Gabor in her prime and an orange hue.  You chose someone with no solutions and a mouth full of hateful rhetoric.  You chose a disgusting little excuse for a human being who serially abuses women because he’s got money and he can get away with it.  You chose a bully with over 200 lawsuits against him.  You chose a man who is currently being sued for child rape and fraud.  You chose that and denigrated a woman who has had over $15million of my money spent trying to indict her by her enemies with no success.  Yet you file bankruptcy to avoid your legal losses.

You’re done.  You are all done.  Enough is enough.  Enough hate.  Enough.

So I’m begging you please man, don’t call the policeman

And now, something horrible happened in Dallas.  I have to say, it was just a matter of time.

This little gem was taken from a post when Eric Garner was killed back in 2014:

Here’s the deal and I’ve been talking about this for months.  Everyone talks about how few Realtors are actually good at their jobs.  About 10% will really rock your world.  Another 10-15% can do a decent job.  The next 60% are just average.  They don’t do anything amazing but they don’t screw up fantastically either.  The last 20% are thieves, liars and cheats.  Completely incompetent.  Think about the field you’re in.  The same thing is true.  It’s true for lawyers, it’s true in the military, it’s true for every other field out there.  Including policing.  The problem is cops have guns and interact with the general public.  So their screw ups are magnified.

The post was entitled “They have the authority to kill a minority”.  Damn.  I hate it when I’m that right.  And then when someone who is in the business actually agrees with me.  Goddamn.

Blane Salamoni and Howie Lake II have the blood of the Dallas cops on their hands.  Jeronimo Yanez has the blood of the Dallas cops on his hands.  If they don’t violate the human rights of innocent black men, Philando Castile and Alton Sterling are just fine and went to work yesterday.  And five Dallas cops went home to their families last night.  It’s on your hands.  And for the love of all things holy, you asshats trot out that “I was in fear for my life” bullshit and this country is going to erupt.

You can’t keep shooting black men and not expect the community to rise up.  I think we are on the verge of a 1968 riots situation.  I think the frustration level is that high.  And I think it’s fixin’ to boil over.  A lone gunman did a terrible thing in Dallas Thursday night.  A cop did a terrible thing in Falcon Heights last Wednesday.  Two cops did a terrible thing in Baton Rouge.  And it needs to stop.  If the police community does not address this problem with vigor, we are headed to a race war.  And we deserve it.

 

Dear Voters

In particular Bernie Sanders supporters.  And really anyone who is thinking like Susan Sarandon is right now.  Bernie is running for the Democratic Party nomination.  He is not running for the Green Party nomination, the Independent party nomination or any other nomination.  He is running for the Democratic Party nomination.  If he does not win, which as of right now is a real possibility, although Hillz is certainly not a shoo-in right now, the people who have registered Democrat need to step in line and support the party nomination.  Period.  Not behave like petulant children Susan.  I’m not thrilled with this process but this is the process by which we as a country have legislated that elections occur.  Gerrymandered?  Hell yes.  But it’s an even playing field.  Everyone has to follow the same convoluted jacked up rules.  Even Bernie.  The independent Senator from Vermont.  So run a clean campaign.  We all Feel the Bern.  And I for one am happy for what you are accomplishing, but when the nominee is chosen, get in line.  Because if you don’t you’re going to be building the greatest wall the world has ever seen.

Now for The Donald.  Dear Republicans, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?  This is what you bring us?  An over inflated orange tinted combed over buffoon?  Are you all stupid?  Did you know that if The Donald had taken all of the money he inherited from Daddy and put it in a mutual fund, he’d be twice as wealthy as he is today.  Repeat.  Money he inherited from Daddy.  Lost a lot of it.  And he’s such a great businessman?  He’s an empty suit.  When was the last time they ran out some elitist Daddy’s boy?  What happened?  Oh yeah, 9-11.  And then we invaded the wrong country.  In seven years he couldn’t find a 6’5″ Arab in the desert with a kidney dialysis machine and an entourage.  Obama shut that shit down pretty quickly didn’t he?  Shall we talk about the mess that Arnold made of California?  He “leveraged” everything and almost buried the entire state.  He nearly destroyed the 5th largest economy in the world.  So much that we aren’t in the top five any more.  So I have to ask the Republicans one more time Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

Please forgive me, for having straight hair

There is so much to rant about right now, it’s hard to know where to start.

So let’s just talk about the fact that any moron who has voted or is about to vote for Donald Trump.

Dear Moron, you are stupid.  Extremely stupid.  I know, you think the politicians are the problem, so bring in an outsider.  Well, that would make sense if there was something amounting to a backroom deal going on in this country.  But there isn’t.  There’s Mr. Turtlehead standing there saying that the American people should have a say in who picks the new Supreme Court justice.  Dear Mr. Turtlehead, they did have a say when they elected Barack Obama to be President.  Twice.  Idiot.

Or this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KvQ1zOYrJk

What’s amazing to me is that anyone on the planet thinks this is okay.  It’s not.  It’s holding the government hostage, just like the shut downs just like all of the other crap the “politicians” have been doing.  And by “politicians” I mean Republicans.  These guys, yes, they need to go.  Mr. Turtlehead needs to be done with.  And Kentucky should be embarrassed for what they’ve done to our country.

Let’s move on to making our country great again.  How great Mr. Trump?  Great like we were in 2008?  Good times eh?

And this.

Here it is all broken down for you.

https://youtu.be/PuTe_sAI-UQ

Peace.  Out.

I like to dip and I like to spit

Don’t you worry your pretty little heads.  I’m still here and I’m still pissed.

I am particularly pissed at anyone who thinks that Donald Trump, Ben Carson or Jeb Bush would make a good President.  They won’t.  They suck.  And you are an idiot if you think that any of these guys could be President.

Trump has the most potential, if he weren’t a racist loose cannon.  At what point does he say “Some of my best friends are Mexican?”  That’s not what this country needs.

Jeb Bush?  Because W did such a great job?  I love how the Bush’s are trying to rewrite history.  Sorry.  We were here.  Your idiot brother allowed the economy to bluster unchecked after 9/11.  You created the mortgage crisis and sat on your hands while millions of Americans lost their homes.  You can find on this very blog where I raged about Bush telling us to “Go to Disneyland” after 9/11.  You can look at the craptastic disaster of a country he handed over to Obama in 2009.  You know, Obama, the worst President ever.  The guy that has held interest rates to all time lows in spite of the banks and Republicans beating him in every way to raise them?  Why do you think they want their own guy in there?  To raise rates to they can make more money.  It has nothing to do with wanting to help you or I.  And let’s not forget Daddy’s War.  Or that fact that it was child’s play for the Seals to get Osama bin Laden once they had the orders to actually go and looked for him.  Obama the guy who has nothing to do with premium being $2.65 at the corner by my house?  The guy that got everyone back to work?  Yeah, that guy.

And you want four years of that crap?

Or Ben Carson.  What a total looney tune.  We’re splitting hairs on some resumé padding right now.  Because West Point doesn’t have scholarships.  You’re either in or you’re not.  But you have to apply to get in and he never applied.  So if he applied and got in arguably everyone gets a full scholarship…I’m more interested in those Egyptian grain silos.  And he’s leading the pack.  Shame on you America.

So make lots of noise

 

Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner.  Why do we care?  Seriously.  I’m not married to either one of them.  Who gives a shit?

Rachel Dolezal.  A little more interesting.  She’s not black enough because she’s white.  She’s too black because she’s white.  She is checking the wrong box on her Census form?  I guess.  It’s not like there isn’t a whole bunch of people out there living out their fantasies as someone who they aren’t or maybe someone they became.  It’s just that Jenner can go to the best Doctors in America and go through gender reassignment.  I don’t think you can go through race reassignment so Rachel, we’ve got a problem.

And then there’s this.

Laverne Cox is interesting to me in that she has a twin brother who plays Marcus pre-op.

At some point it’s going to be ok to just be human.  If you are a good, kind person that’s good enough.  If you’re a shit, you’re a shit.  You aren’t a white shit, or a black shit or a hispanic shit, you’re just a shit.

Speaking of shits, here is an interesting factoid that I did not know.  Crime went down in the 90’s and it has been attributed to Roe v. Wade.  What?  Women who got pregnant who didn’t have the desire or ability to raise children didn’t have them.  So unfit mothers had less children and less criminals were created and crime went down.

Fed Up the movie.  Watch it.  You know when you see something and you say “Goddammit!  I knew it!”  It’s like that.

Does either side have someone normal they are running for President?

I’m sorry.  I don’t give a shit about the Golden State Warriors.  They have won once in my lifetime.  Once.  I just don’t care.  Although Stephen Curry’s kid is awfully cute.  And Lebron is an asshole so there’s a good reason to root for the Warriors, if you gave a shit, which I don’t.

And I’m sick of advertisers wasting my time on youtube.  Enough.

 

 

She bet on one horse to win and I bet on another to show

How about a year end wrap up?  Oh what the hell?

Here are last year’s top ten:

  1. Lose that last 35 pounds.  Lost another 10 but still have a ways to go.
  2. Ride at 15mph. I started to get faster and then had that hamstring injury so I’m still sitting around 11.7mph
  3. Eliminate the rest of the debt.  Didn’t get this done but did make steady progress
  4. Eliminate the IRS issue.  Didn’t get this done either but am making payments thus eliminating the potential for debtors prison
  5. Practice the daily 10 five days a week.  I’m giving myself a C+ on this one.  I did remarkably well on this when I did it.
  6. Remodel main bath. Whatever
  7. Build mud room.  What evs
  8. Get Mustang closer to if not on the road. Yeah…no.
  9. Add a buyer’s agent.  Tried to but didn’t end up with enough buyers
  10. Squat 230, bench 300, dead lift 435.  Squat 150, Bench 170# dead 220# definite improvement
  11. Have 6 months reserves in the bank. I have about six weeks…
  12. Eliminate tolerations within 30 days of them presenting themselves. Giving myself a B+ on this.  A couple just won’t go away but I did remarkably well on this.
  13. Follow my schedule 80% of the time.  I started out real well on this and would have spurts of being excellent.  The importance of this one shows up in my bottom line.  When I do it things hum around here.

So all and all it seems like I missed every single goal, yet, the other one I missed was the Gross Commission earned.  I missed that.  I did 72% of what I set out to do.  But I increased my year over year by 28%.  Who else do you know that gave themselves a 28% pay raise.  My new assistant turned out to be a big ol’ can of awesomesauce.  I spent about $4500 on her so she more than paid for herself.

In review, I saved eight dogs this year.  I had to make the call on two.  One for temperament, the other for health.  It kills me every time I have to tell a shelter to put down a dog.  I haven’t had to do it in a while but I had to do it twice this year.  I lost my beloved Norman.  He was my defender.  I always felt protected when that do was here.  He broke my heart.

I rocked it on the AIDS/Lifecycle raising $5700 last year.  Thank you to all who participated.  Then I had that pulled hamstring incident.  That put a damper on a lot of this year’s activities.  The AIDS ride was marred by the death of a cyclist.  Nearly everyone knew her.  I have a picture taken with her and her husband from 2012.  She was a 14 time rider.  She had a heart attack on the bike and then struck her head coming off the bike.  She was brain dead.  They kept her alive on life support until the ride was over and then her husband said goodbye and her organs went on to save even more people.  He is a broken man.  I wish him peace.

Another death rocked our Keller Williams family.  A member of one of the big teams and the rainmaker’s sister relapsed after 12 years of sobriety and was found dead in a Reno hotel room.  She was way to young to go, a huge personality, a good woman and the hole is vast.  I wish them family peace.

Just this week a friend of mine was riding in a pack outside of Danville when the pack screwed up.  There was a wreck at the front and bikes and cyclists started going every which way.  My friend was at the back.  He’d been talking with a friend of his, a guy I knew peripherally.  I recognized his picture with his family.  The guy swerved to miss the wreck.  Simultaneously, a water truck swerved to miss the first crash.  The results were catastrophic.  A family will start out the new year without their father.  When I saw him yesterday I didn’t know this and said “I’m sorry about your friend”.  He started to tear up and then told me that he was there.  He saw the whole thing.  I wish him peace.

Since I can’t’ get these finished they remain on the list.

  1. Lose that last 35 pounds.
  2. Ride at 15mph
  3. Eliminate the rest of the debt
  4. Eliminate the IRS issue
  5. Practice the daily 10 five days a week
  6. Remodel main bath
  7. Build mud room
  8. Get Mustang closer to if not on the road
  9. Add a buyer’s agent
  10. Squat 230, bench 300, dead lift 435
  11. Have 6 months reserves in the bank
  12. Eliminate tolerations within 30 days of them presenting themselves.
  13. Follow my schedule 80% of the time

I think these are good for another year.  I am working towards all of them so I think it’s all good.

What I do know is that I am a very good real estate agent.  One of the best in our area.  I have been working on a growth plan that has been quite helpful for the last year.  I have it set up for this year again already.  I read 11 books last year and got Bill the Dog trained.  I went to four real estate events to help my business.  I am happy with that.  I am getting back my strength and I am happy with that.  I’ve lost 10 pounds and I am happy with that.  And my assistant has freed up some valuable time to allow me to relax now and then and while I’m still tired, I’m not as tired as I was this time last year.  Although I could use a nap.

This is for Norman.

 

If I don’t do it, you know somebody else will

During the week,  I collect all kind of crap to comment on each Sunday morning.  And then something happened and I’m up all Saturday night.  And not in a good way.  The Fitbit tells me how I slept, as if I didn’t know this time.  I didn’t actually fall into a real sleep until 3:50am.  It was a long night and I have a busy day.  But here we go on this week’s collection of crap.

First up, the absolute best thing on the interwebs.

This horse appears to be some sort of competition horse in a Spanish speaking country.  And Boss, well he is the boss.  I picked Beauregard based on his littermate’s relationship with a horse.  I said “whatever you did to get that” pointing at Nero, “that’s what I want”.  I had a reserve on the next littler but then Beauregard (then Max) came back as his owner was being shipped out to somewhere he couldn’t take him.

Unfortunately, there was a lot of bad on the interwebs.  Like NYPD killing a man who didn’t do anything.  At all.  I’m telling you the police are out of hand in this country.  And the privatization of the prison system is a very bad thing.

Let’s play a round of good cop bad cop.  This time the lady cop is the bad cop.  No probable cause lady.

Apparently there is a super secret homo death squad who worship Hitler and are coming to kill Christians.  Good thing we have the Gaily Grind who will keep us all updated when they finally locate the training facility.  I’m certain it is located next to Santa’s workshop and the Easter bunny’s hovel.  The thing is this asshat has people who listen to him and believe his bullshit.  Although I guess if you’re reading this you might believe my bullshit….

But at least my bullshit is the good shit.  I thought this study by the Southern Poverty Law Center was much more terrifying than imaginary homo death squads.

And just because.

And because Johnny Winter passed away last week… it’s long, just let it run you’ll thank me.

 

 

This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

About that Ride.

A week ago I finished my fourth AIDS/Lifecycle.  It was hard for all of the wrong reasons.

Four weeks before we left I thought I would take Bill the Dog down to the Clayton Art and Wine festival and hang with either Cousin Jeanne or Cousin in law Jason, whoever was there.  The truck needed gas first.  The 20 year old truck.  The battery failed at the pump and the truck was stuck there.  Oh, and it was 10am on a Sunday.  Who cares?  I called AAA.

Well, apparently the guy at the station wanted it out of there after 30 minutes of waiting for AAA.  We go to push it and it comes to that point where you jump into the truck to hit the brake so it doesn’t roll out onto Clayton Road and I missed the hop.  Oh yeah, I rode over Morgan Territory the day before.

I don’t know if that is going to work or not but if it does it’s cool.  Anyway there was 4497 feet of elevation change.  And my legs were toast.  So hopping up in the truck was off the table.  I caught my heel on the sill and my foot got stuck between the bottom of the seat and the sill of the truck.  And the truck was rolling away and Bill the Dog was in it.  I thought about just dropping out but there was a curb behind me and I was afraid of a curb with one foot stuck in the truck and a head injury.  If I missed the curb I ran the risk of getting run over by my own runaway truck.  And Bill was driving at that point.

I don’t know why I didn’t tell the guy to stop pushing, but I didn’t.  And at the end of the day I ended up shoving my shoulder into the truck to stop it from rolling.  But it was too late for my hamstring.  In spite of some amazing work by Dr. Elkind, I left on June 1 at about 70%.   And it got worse.

By Day 2 I had compensated for the hamstring to the point that my calf was blown up too.  By far my earliest trip ever to Sports Med.

 

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Kind of pathetic that this is the only picture they have of me.  On the other hand, that guy was giving everyone a push.

But that’s not what this is about.  This is about Edna.

Edna was a Training Ride Leader, a 13 time rider (that’s 9 times more than me) and just one of those infectious personalities you cannot help but be drawn to.  She was always and I do mean always smiling.  I have no recollection of any other expression on her face.

On Day 4 she was riding along with her husband and she went into cardiac arrest.  On her bike.  She fell off and hit her head.  We all wear helmets but there is only so much they can do.  She might have survived the cardiac incident but the head injury was too much.  Her devoted husband rode on the next day and broke his leg.  I’m sure he rode on because she would have wanted him to, she loved the ride but he was understandably too distraught.  He loved her.  She passed on June 8th.  We all rode into Los Angeles on Day 7 with her number either taped to our helmets or our bikes.  We all carried her into LA.

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Edna was a Dodger fan.  She was wearing that jersey on her last day of riding.  A lot of people have said she died doing what she loved, which was the Ride.  I guess that’s a decent way to go. An old friend died on the rugby pitch, same story.  It’s just that I’m not done here so I’d like to keep on rolling for about 40 more years.  So if something happens to me rest assured, I’m pissed off about it.

I just think about her husband.  He is a kind and generous man.  This woman that so affected 2500 riders and 500 Roadies was an amazing personality and an amazing person.  If we are all feeling it how bad must it be for the man that loved her, woke up with her every day, had breakfast with her?  I really feel for him.  His loss must be excruciating.  He’s probably numb right now but holy crap when this one catches up…that poor man.  She was 41.

It just makes me think about the fragility of this life.  It’s not like I don’t get it, I do.  When the good Lord calls you home, you’re going whether it’s part of your plan or not.  Every year when I ride out of the Cow Palace I look down at my handle bars and say “This could be it.  You could not come home from this.  Is your shit straight?”  I try to live my life in a way that the answer is always “yes”.  Some people won’t allow that, but that’s their problem not mine.  It’s my job to do my best, whatever that is at that particular moment in time.  And let God sort the rest out.